Thursday, September 25, 2008
Then she goes on to tell me a rep from Medtronics came by the office with paperwork that we filled out to get Kacey a pump...WTF?!?! Uhhhhhh NO! I explained to her that I'd been researching pumps trying to be proactive...we'd chosen to go with the MiniMed since everyone we know has one and it was well liked...so I went to the website and saw that they would sent me info about the pump to read and I took advantage of it. A rep called me a few days later to ask me if I got the info and what I thought. I told him that I was pleased with what I saw...enjoyed the DVD that came with the info...and was looking forward to Kacey going on the pump! So he asked if he could send me the forms to fill out so I could find out how much my insurance covered. Well....sure! I thought to myself...well at least Im being proactive and I will know what sort of out of pocket costs we will have to pay when we finally get the green light for the pump. Ummmm well I thought wrong! The CDE got sorta short with me and told me that Kacey would NOT be a candidate for the pump until she got through her honeymoon (however long that is!) and then after that she'd have to get the ok from her Endo. Once we got the ok from him then we'd have to attend a pump class where we are shown 4 different models of pumps and then we get to talk to all the reps from each one....we take an hour....decide which one we want....and then Kacey will be given a "trial" set to be worn for 3 days and then we go back to the doc and they file the paperwork! OK....my question is this....if she knew all that then how come when we went to our appt last Monday, the CNP couldnt tell us that?!?! I was really upset by this point! Once again, I explained to her I was being proactive and doing my research as a parent and choosing what is best for MY child. The paperwork we filled out was so we could find out how much we'd have to pay since we are a ONE income family and I dont wanna be smacked in the face with a bill for $3000 if our insurance will only cover 1/2 the pump. And....as of today....we still dont know WTF they cover.....grrrrrrrrrrrr!
So I guess Im a bit disappointed now. I was really hoping to be able to go thru everything (classes, etc) and then once she was ready for the pump we could just do it...but it doesnt look like thats gonna happen ~sigh~
Now...about this honeymoon...
When you look up the definition of honeymoon it says :
[n] the early usually calm and harmonious period of a relationship; business or political
LOL...ok so for the record....this is NOT a calm and harmonious period...and it is something I wish would end!! Why in the hell would they call this time a honeymoon? It should be called "The diabetes hellish roller coaster period"!! For now I can only hope and pray this cold Kacey has will kick her out of her honeymoon (since we were told in the hospital that usually once they get sick for the first time it will kick them out and her sugars will stay up...thus ending the honeymoon and increasing the need for more insulin) Not sure how Im gonna break the news to Kacey. Think its easiest to just tell her she cant have the pump til she gets out of her honeymoon. So hopefully by our 6mo appt...she will be out of her honeymoon...and when we see her doc (since we havent seen him since she was diagnosed in the hospital in July) then we'll be ready for it! ~fingers crossed~
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
On a good note, Kayleigh just called me and they won their game against the rival school ... 2-1!!! She sounded so excited! I wish we could have been there but with Kacey not feeling well, I wasnt gonna take the chance on being at a game that is 45min from home. She understood why we couldnt be there and was fine with it :) She did text me when she was leaving to give me some pretty exciting news though! She was asked to the Homecoming Dance... **shocked face**... I took a deep breath and asked "Who?" and she told me WHO it was! I quietly did a "Happy Mommy" dance because this boy has liked her for the last 3 years and she's never looked at him anymore than "just friends" or "like a brother" ... and he got up the nerve to ask her and she said YES! How exciting!!!! This will be her first dance that she's gone with anyone. Her 8th grade dance she chose to go with a group of friends so she could dance with who she wanted and ended up dancing with a group the whole night. So this time is a little different! He's a super kid tho :) I really like him and I actually liked him when I first met him! When he replied with "No mam"... "Yes mam" and "No thank you" ... Ummmm OMG a boy with manners?!?! Those are few and far between these days! He and Kayleigh text all the time and theres rarely a night without a text that says "Goodnight ILY" ...which I think it just so sweet! The other day he sent her one that said "If I havent told you ILY today...then I do!" Too cute!! So anyway...we will be off dress shopping :) Im really thinking that I need to take her...just me and her...and leave Kacey with Frankie. I havent had much alone time with Kay recently because all my time is spent caring for "The big D" and so this might be just the time we needed! Ahhhh.... Homecoming.....brings back memories :) Good times!
On that note...Im gonna head out :) Kay will be home soon...Kacey needs a bath....and I need some rest!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Kayleigh will be 14 in 9 more days. I can't believe than in just 4 more years she will be graduated...off to the college of her choice....and persuing her plans of being a Pastry Chef/Cake Decorator. It seems that just yesterday she came into this world...6 weeks early...but a healthy weight of 6lbs 12oz and absolutely perfect! I remember days of holding her and wondering if I'd be a good Mom...if she'd grow up with everything she wanted....could I give her what she wanted...and would she be the happiest child she could be. Looking back over the times in her life that I questioned myself...I can honestly say I've given her all she needed and she IS the happiest she could be! She's made me so proud and I really couldn't ask anymore from her. She's so open and honest with me and I hope things always stay that way!
Being 14 years old in 2008 is MUCH different than being 14 years old in 1989 (when I was 14). The pressure that is placed on kids now by peers and teachers is so heavy and I know the last person that should be pressuring her is me...but if I don't pressure her to stay in control of her life then I have that overwhelming fear that she will spiral out of control and make some silly mistakes I made. Not calling getting pregnant at 18 a mistake...by no means was she ever a mistake...but some of the choices I made weren't smart. I know she knows "my story" and how I didn't make some of the smartest choices and I know she'll make her own decisions reguardless of the mistakes I made...but I do want her to have the ability to "pause" for that split second and think about the consequences if she does make those decisions. I look around at the friends she has...nearly all of them being A-B honor roll. She doesnt hang with a bad crowd so she's chosen her friends wisely. She studies hard and has kept her grades on Honor Roll since 4th grade. She's played hockey for the last 3 years and she's found her place in the defense position...and might I add....shes damn good! (and Im not just saying that because Im her Mom) She gives 100% in whatever she does. So what more can I ask for? Nothing. Not a thing. She's giving me 100% and balancing school, sports, chores, friends and still smiling!
Over the last 2 months, the emotions of Kacey's diagnosis have weighed heavy on us all. Tempers flare. Tears flow. But in the end we all still smile...or we at least try to! Right after we came home from the hospital, I remember rushing around the house with my Super Mom cape flapping in the wind...trying to get all the daily chores done...the pressure of not being able to catch up on things because I felt like I'd just come home from the hospital with a newborn baby...and I remember getting upset with her because I just wanted her to do what I asked her without hearing "Why doesnt Kacey have to help?" or rolling her eyes...and it didnt hit me until later on that I really do expect alot out of her. So for the last few weeks, Ive given her the space to slack a bit on chores and such. We've all slacked on chores the last few weeks! She really took Kacey's diagnosis hard and I really didn't give her any time to open up about her feelings about it all until later that night. The first night we were in the hospital, she sat up with me while Kacey and Frankie slept and when the clock finally turned 3am, I let her slide up in the hospital bed with Kacey to try and get some rest. She was so scared she'd hurt her sister and before she got in the bed she opened up and started to cry. She was scared her sister would die. She was concerned about how we'd deal with it. She was scared of the needles. She was scared they'd hurt her sister. There were so many things swirling around in her head...and being older I guess I expected her to handle it the way we did....but inside she was still that scared little girl. Even now...there are times that she will fight with Kacey to no end...but other times when she calls me to let me know shes at hockey practice and she will ask "Hows Kacey feeling?". Ahhh the joys of Sisterly Love.
So...in the end...I know she will continue to make me proud and is growing into a beautiful young lady.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
You're doing a great job! Keep it up!
The Tooth Fairy"
When she woke up, the first thing she did was slide her hand under her pillow and she pulled out the neatly folded note. As she opened it she smiled and then she looked up with me and she handed me the $5 bill. I said "You want me to hold it til we go to the store?" and with tears in her eyes and said "No Mommy, please put it with the money for a cure." There was no way I could fight back the tears! How could I? Here is my child giving me her tooth fairy money to find her a cure. Talk about feeling hopeless! So I told her I'd match it...give her $5 back to her...and she could buy herself something special ;) ~sigh~ So not only did she make me cry last night...she made me cry again this morning!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Kayleigh won her game last night....12-0...yep they creamed the other team! LOL! It was a great game!
We were all so tired last night that after dinner and bath...both girls went right to bed and I layed down on the bed to "rest" and ended up dozing off fully dressed!! I woke up at 5am and realized Id slept thru the night! Ahhhhhh....I guess my body shut down and needed a break!
Today we're trying something new at school. Kacey has been doing really good figuring out her own dose...so today she's going to test her sugar...go to lunch...and then go back to the nurse and call me after she figures the dose...so I can make sure she's got it right and then the nurse will give her the shot :) We're trying to eliminate the running back and forth to school & gas bill...but I also want Kacey to have her independence back. I think the more "in control" that Kacey feels...the better she will handle this. So letting her go to lunch without Mommy at her side will give her some freedom...and figuring up her own dose then calling me just to recheck...is the way we're going to go. We'll try and see how it goes!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Yep...he's lookin right at me...about 8 feet away!
Kacey with her signed poster & pic
Im exhausted so Im gonna call it a night!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
OK...I guess all my ranting has paid off...LOL!
Things with school were much better today. Yesterday, I started thinking about ways I could get Kacey to the comfort level of doing things on her own at school. She already knows how to do her finger sticks and wont let anyone else do those for her...so thats good! So this morning I told her to go to the nurse and check her sugar...then go eat lunch...and once she got done lunch she needed to come to the nurse for her shot and Id be in there waiting for her. So I got there after I knew she'd gone in the lunchroom :) and the nurse had already figured out her dose and asked me to recheck and make sure she did it right...sure enough....by golly she's got it! Kacey was at a 262 and she figured the correction dose and the food dose...added them and rounded already :)
~breathes a sigh of relief~
The lil booger is still bouncing like Tigger though! Yesterday she was a 150, 214, 87, 229, 121, and 202...LOL all over the place!
Today hasnt been much better ... ~sigh~
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
Yesterday was Kaceys best day yet :D She woke up with a 178...at lunch was a 164...afternoon was a 114....then another 114....103 for dinner....and 192 for bedtime. YAYYYYYYYY! Those are great numbers!! The nurse gave her the shot again and she did it right....Wooohoooooo! I was so pleased with her day :)
Today she woke up at 139...was 128 for lunch....158 for afternoon....and 100 for dinner....YAYYYYYYYYYYY! Another good day :) She is adjusting so well and her teacher is just amazing!! Yesterday her teacher asked me what she could give Kacey for snack this afternoon because it was "Fun Friday" and she was doing popcorn, soda and a movie. Well...I told her she could have the popcorn without a shot but she couldnt have the soda so her water bottle would do :) Well...when I got there for lunch today her teacher asked me if Kacey could have sugar free lemonade? (Keep in mind, her teacher's husband found out last year hes Type 2 so she knew what to look for) So...I asked her how many carbs were in it and she said less than 1 :) So of course she could have it! OK....now....why and I telling you this? Well because I thought to myself...now THATS a great teacher! This teacher took it upon herself to bring in a sugar free lemonade so Kacey wouldnt feel left out so it made me smile inside knowing she was in such good hands :) When I got there this afternoon to pick Kacey up, her nurse pulled me to the side and said she needed to talk to me. Uhoh! So I went in the office with her and she said Kacey had a great afternoon and said that when they were coming in from outside one of the teachers that is the Occupational Therapist (only at school 3 days a week) was standing in the door way and Kaceys face lit up and she said "Excuse me, is that a pump?" Well the OT was taken back because none of the kids know what that is! She said "Yes it is!" and Kacey struck up a conversation with her and told her that she was T1 and its only been 7 weeks for her. The OT was so shocked at how "grown" Kacey was and how much she really knew and retained for only being 8yrs old. That made me feel so good! So the nurse asked me if I had some time and she went and got the OT to talk to me more about the pump. OMG she was sooooo nice! She talked to us for 40 min about the pump and diabetes...she let Kacey hold the pump and showed her how it works. Talk about a great experience!!! So again...it was a big deal for us...because she took the time to just sit and talk to us about it :) I was proud of Kacey too because she struck up the conversation and wasnt too shy to ask! So....a great way to end the week!
Hurricane Hanna is headed our way so Im not sure what this weather is going to do or when I will be back....
Sheri... have a great weekend and good luck with the Walk! I hope your team met their goal :) Give Nikki a hug from us at the finish line!! GO NO SUGAR NEEDED!!
Caitlin & James~ My deepest sympathy over the loss of your brother. Let us know if you need anything! We love you guys!
Have a great weekend!
Monday, September 1, 2008
OK...bookbags are packed....lunches are packed....clothes are layed out...and everything is ready for the first day of school tomorrow *sad* I've still got the sick feeling in my stomach and nerves have gotten the best of me a few times today! I've tried so hard to stay strong and positive but my insides are just crying :( I wasn't even this bad when the girls started Kindergarden!! That Mommy part of me doesnt want to let Kacey go...you know that feeling that "no one can care for her the way I do"... yep that feeling has set in! That sense of losing control and someone else not taking care of her the way I would. So yeah...Ive really got myself into a state!