Dare I say that Kacey's meter average for the last 14 days is 145?
Dare I say that life seems to be peaceful at this moment?
Well I am! Things just seem to be going...well....GOOD (for once!). With the exception of a few 50-60 lows, Kacey's numbers seem to have settled down and I know I'll probably jinx myself since our Endo appt. is next week...LOL! But I just wanted to boast a little about my new happiness.
So many D-days are filled with trials, challenges and never ending battles, that when you finally seem to have a calm week, you have a chance to smile and thank the D-monster for allowing you a chance to recharge your batteries.
As I sit here and think about this new found peace in my life, I can't help but wonder if it could have been there all along and I chose not to see it? So many times when we're struggling, we choose to focus on the problems instead of giving it to God, right? Why worry? Why hold these feelings inside? Why battle the internal struggles?
Over the last few months, I've had the opportunity to spiritually connect with my daughter. Yeah, sounds funny, huh? And I'm sure you're asking HOW can you live in the same household, go to church on Sundays, yet never spiritually connect? Well it happens! When you don't stay in the Word and talk with your kids about God then there is no way to ever fully connect on that level. I've been blessed to be a part of something very special in Kayleigh's life. I've been witness to her spiritual growth, WITHOUT me directing her. She finally "gets it"! So many things have helped her get to this point. I think the cookbook project she did had a huge impact. She saw first hand how precious life is and how strong faith could be. She also began surrounding herself with friends that were believing the same thing she is. She made a commitment to herself NOT to date any boys over her Senior year and instead focus on school and her business. She got more involved with our church youth group. She's been praying more and keeping a prayer journal. She carries her Bible to school and when there is extra time, she READS it in class! She's maturing and understanding how important it is to read her Bible and talk to God. So in doing that, I've been held accountable as her mother to make sure that I'm able to answer questions she might have and if I don't know the answer then we find them together. That had led to a connection we've never experienced before. It's not a connection I have with Kacey yet because she is still too young to fully understand it all. Thats not a bad thing but it means that when she is finally ready then I will be too! Each day, Kayleigh opens her Bible and writes a verse on a piece of paper and puts it in her pocket. It might be something that was laying on her heart and it might be something out of the blue and later that day God lets her know why she chose that verse (like the Job 9:10 verse for Meri) and then other times it's just a verse and she might not know who or what it's for but God does. She's connected with our pastor's wife and she told her she was reading her Bible from the beginning (which got very difficult when we reached Noah) but she told Kayleigh to dive into the books ending in -IANS and thats a GREAT place to start! She's now found that Phillipians 4:6-7 is now her favorite verse above Proverbs 4:5.
How true is this? For EVERYTHING we do in life....marriage, parenting, work, diabetes...all of it! Why are we anxious about anything? If we give it to God and let Him take care of it then there is a new found peace.
So why was I not ready for this? Why didn't I know this verse? Why wasn't this one I had memorized in my memory bank? Because I really hadn't journeyed into my Bible like I should have. I wasn't giving God the time He deserved. I could have used this sooooooo many times in the last 18 years! Over the last year and a half I've been dabbling in my Bible but over the last few months I've devoted the time to God and a new found peace has been my blessing. It's been kinda weird to feel like this because it's a journey I've never taken before. I'm not even sure why it too so long but it's a nice feeling.
I feel like our household is much more peaceful. LOL! Yeah, I know! You're thinking....yeah right! But it really is. My marriage is getting stronger and we're not fussing at one another like we used to. I mean, we fussed over petty things like dirt on the floor, dishes in the sink, who was getting up for 2am checks, clothes not folded right, you know those stupid little things that we nit pick over. We're taking evening walks and even holding hands. We've been talking about the future. We're thinking about selling our house and buying a house with all the bells and whistles that we wanted when we were first starting out back in 1998. We bought our house because of the location and property and then we added on to it but we've outgrown it and it's time for something new. It's been nice to sit together and make that "dream plan" that we did when we were dating. We lay in bed watching TV and we hold hands. We chase one another around the house and laugh and giggle hysterically while our girls watch us and think we're nuts. We're making time to spend together as a family. We're now in a financial position that we can breathe a little. The girls both have STRAIGH A's in school and they're doing great. Diabetes days don't seem all that bad anymore. We deal with the day we're dealt one day at a time. Life just doesn't seem that bad anymore. I don't feel like Dorothy in the tornado....I feel like Glenda in Munchkin Land!
Has it been an easy road? NOWAY! Do I still have a long way to go? ABSOLUTELY! So WHAT happened? WHAT made things change? One thing changed.....we started putting GOD FIRST and everything else has fallen into place.
Now, I'm not saying that we don't have our battles....I'm not trying to say that at all. I'm saying that we're picking and choosing those battles and we let God stand beside us and fight them with us. We're standing strong in faith these days. It's been an uphill battle but we're seeing the top of the hill in sight instead of standing at the bottom and looking up.
And now, a giggle for the day.....
We started something new around the house this week and it seems to be REALLY working! The girls are both responsible for certain chores around the house. We've always said, "If everyone does their little job, then it makes life easier for us all!" Over the last few months, I've let them slide with the chores and I end up picking up the slack and it's becoming too much again. So we had a "Family Meeting" and I told the girls and hubby that from now on....
For every chore not done, every dish left in the sink and every time the girls argue with one another (which they seem to have that love/hate sibling relationship...ya know the one!) ....so I'm going to charge a quarter for each one. I've got a money jar that counts the change and if they don't do a chore...it's a quarter. If they don't wash their dish...it's a quarter. If they fuss with one another...it's a quarter. They thought it was funny and I told them that they wouldn't get any warnings because they're both old enough to be "responsible" and I don't ask much of them but I do expect them to pull their weight around the house during the week so we're not spending the weekend doing it all. The weekend will be spent doing something fun. We laughed about it for a moment and then I told them to get done what they needed to. I started cooking dinner and when I came out of the kitchen....the laundry was folded, the living room was picked up, their beds were made and rooms picked up and they were both sitting on the floor pairing the socks from the sock basket. YIKES!!! I smiled and thanked them for getting it done. We had dinner and later that evening the girls were watching TV and Kayleigh snapped at Kacey for something and Kacey responded, "Do you want me to make you give Mom a quarter? Don't be mean to me!" Frankie and I were in the other room and we giggled quietly because they were working it out without coming to us and "tattling". And now the deal....on the weekend, if there is less than $2.00 in the jar then Mommy & Daddy will add $20 to it and we can do something fun. If there is more than $2.00 in the jar then Mommy & Daddy will get to take it out and put it in another jar for us to spend. If they chose to keep the $20 in the jar instead of spending it that week, then they could and save it for something big. Good deal, huh? As of last night, the jar is still empty ;)
Have a great weekend!