Monday, January 13, 2014

Site Changes

It's a word that makes my skin crawl some days. I love living in my "comfort zone" and when I have to change things within it then I feel like my whole world gets off balance. Change is a word I had to learn to embrace when Kacey was diagnosed. I didn't like it but somehow I had no choice anymore.

We've had so much CHANGE in our life recently. We changed insulin from Novolog to Apidra....we changed Endo's from a man to a woman...we sent Kay off to college and our house became a one child household...and most recently we changed infusion sets. All of these changes made me nervous (some more than others) but they were all changes for the better so I shouldn't get my big girl panties in a wad.

Our most recent change was my most nervous. Switching infusion sets was a BIG deal and not only did we switch them once...we switched them TWICE! When Kacey first started pumping, we used Comfort Shorts. These sets go in sideways and not straight in so the risk of a bent cannula lessened. These were the sets we were told to use as well since Kacey had a "little more fat" to put them in. She was scared of the automatic insert ones and I had to learn the manual insert ones. This was a learning curve for me. I've always had a fear of needles and when Kacey was diagnosed, this sent me over the edge. I cried and sobbed when the nurse told me I had to stick my own child. I could barely stand getting stuck myself because of a bad experience I had as a child. So being in the room with a needle scared the crap outta me. I learned to move past the fear because I had to keep my child alive. I learned how to insert the Comfort Short like a pro. Then this past August, Kacey wanted to learn to do her own site changes. Nervous didn't begin to describe the feelings I was feeling. How I could turn over the control? It was the last bit of control I had. She didn't like me touching her pump (since she feels its a private body part). She would show me her pump but she wanted to hold it. She has been doing her own finger sticks for years. The only thing she couldn't do was her own pump site. With the help of her amazing CDE, she learned! She started to use the Inset 30's. They still go in sideways but with the help of them being housed inside of a cocked device, it was easy for her to place them and click that button. Now what?!? We ordered a few boxes of those and then we were accidently sent 2 boxes of the regular Inset sets. As much as she cried, she used it as a good opportunity to put a site in her leg. The Inset sets still have the cocking device but the cannula goes straight in. They were a little easier to hold and click. But after a few leg sites, she went right back to the Inset 30's when they arrived. And then the dreaded day we ran was time for site change and Kacey went to the cabinet to get a set. Panic set in...she yelled into the other room, "Mommmmm, did you order more sets?" Hmmmm....ummmmm....NO! Why didn't I order sets? Because Kacey was getting the sets from the cabinet and I didn't even know we were low. LESSON #1- If you are going to take responsibility for doing your sets then YOU need to let me know when you're getting low. This resulted in a meltdown. After 20 minutes of tears, she finally decided that she had two choices...ONE: put an Inset site in her leg or other body part she had not done yet or TWO: Let me put a Comfort Short set in. She decided that she wasn't ready to try putting an Inset in her stomach yet so I put the Comfort Short in. luck would have it....I hit a FREAKING vein! She screamed and begged me to pull it out. This resulted in MORE tears! NOW WHAT?!?!? (Diabetes, YOU SUCK!) I ended up convincing her to let me stick her again and I put it in her hip. It went in just fine but she still sat there and cried for the next hour. We talked about why she was scared to try the Inset. It was the noise, the fear of the unknown and nerves. You CAN do this! I kept building her up over the next few days and then....the 3 day window was up. She was faced with the decision again. Will you put the Inset or the Comfort Short in. She chose the Inset. As she sat there and mentally prepared herself, I continued to encourage her. Seeing the ball of nerves she had worked herself up in made me so sad. She sat there for about 5 minutes with the little round inserter pressed against her tummy. And then.....CLICK! She did it! SHE DID IT! She really did it! She smiled and then started to cry tears of joy. "Mom! I didn't feel it! It doesn't hurt!" She was so proud of herself as she hooked back up to her pump. The biggest fear I had was how will this change her blood sugars? We'd been seeing numbers 200-400 range. So only time would tell! Over the course of those 3 days, we saw some AMAZING numbers! Lots of lows! Why in the world would we be told she couldn't use these? We've gotten better numbers using them than when we used the Inset 30's! It's been a few weeks now and she absolutely LOVES the Inset sets. We are down to 2 boxes and I asked her what she wanted me to order next time. Her reply: INSET, not INSET 30! Wowwwwwwww!

It's amazing to watch the progress she's made. I still sit with her during every site change, moreso for emotional support. She still sighs and mumbles "I hate this!" under her breath when it's time for the change BUT the automatic insert makes the biggest difference in the world. I know she won't ever give me control over it again and that makes me so sad but at almost 14 years old, I guess I should be happy that she is wanting to take responsibility of this nasty disease. I still do all the number crunching and it will be a long time before I let her do that on her own. Some days I know she just wants to be a kid and for now, I gonna let her!

Friday, October 25, 2013

How Will You Be Remembered?

(**warning** This post involves DEATH and DYING so if you don't want to read about that right now then click the red X in the top right corner of your page....Thank You!)

Since hearing the news about Shamae on Sunday night, I've almost a whole week to reflect and allow things to sink in. Our online group of D-Moms is such a tight knit community and many of us have never even met. Just the impact of words....daily words of encouragement...daily words to cheer you up and let you know you're not really got me thinking.

How Will You Be Remembered?

If you were to die tomorrow...or tonight even...what would people say about you? What would be written in your obituary?

Would you be remembered as the bright light? The complainer? The optimist? The smiler? The hard worker? The great mom? The great dad? The giver? The taker? The church goer? The leader? The shy one? The outgoing one? Will they say you were a good person? A bad person? Did you matter in their life? Did you make a difference? Did you care? Were you supportive?

Did you leave a legacy?

It's something we all don't want to think about....DEATH. But it's a reality that all of us will face, one day, we WILL die. Some of us sooner than others, some before their children and some after their children. It's something that we tend to stay hushed about but we really should be talking about.

If you could write your own obituary, what would it say?

I ran across an interesting video that is well worth watching! PLEASE Take the time to watch it.

Are you REALLY thinking yet? Yep! That video did the same thing to me!

I've watched the outpour of love from our online community over the last few days. I've read all the stories shared about Shamae and one thing became very clear....she was a light in our community and she was an uplifter of support. Every single one of us can say, she commented and supported us. She was involved in many of our lives, yet many of us never met her face to face. She loved her girls and Loren but she also loved us. The pictures she shared with us on her blog and Facebook showed nothing but happiness. Sure, we all have our bad days but I can't ever remember her saying a cross word about anyone.

When we die, all our loved ones are left with are memories. Are you creating those memories?

Are you prepared to die tonight? Have you made those amends and said the things you want to say? Are you living today as it was your last? You may not be given the chance to wake up the next morning. You may not make it through the drive home this afternoon. Are you ready for your family to face those things? Have you talked to them about death, your wishes and how you want things played out?

So many questions have swirled around my head and it's a huge elephant in the room that I try to avoid. I don't like talking about death but if it happens, then I want my family prepared. I don't want people to be sad...after all, getting to Heaven is a celebration and everyone should be happy. The only reason they should be sad is because they couldn't go to the glorious celebration with me.

Yeah I know, this post is a downer but I've just had so many thing swirling through my head. You don't have to be old to die. It does happen and it WILL happen. We just wait for our time but we need to be sure we're leaving a legacy.

Over the next few weeks, I want to sit down with my husband and plan things out for our funerals. It's something we haven't done in writing and I want to make sure several things are very clear in the planning. I'd also like to write letters to my children. My wishes, my hopes and my dreams for them. Something they will have to my own writing and my own words...not just what others tell them. Just so many things that I need to get lined up so they aren't left with everything to decide on their own.

Sorry for the depressing post!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Fieldtrip Fun

In our 504 Plan, it's stated "A parent will attend EVERY fieldtrip with Kacey". At first the school bucked me on this. Why do you have to attend? We can send the nurse with her. She should be okay for the few hours she is away. NOPE! I WILL attend and I WILL care for her while she is on the trip. Sometimes they would tell me that if I was going then I could just be a chaperone or I had to ride the bus. No problem! I will go under those conditions. place I will NOT chaperone is an amusement park. I made the mistake of doing that last year and because I was a chaperone I had to ride the bus and because I had to ride the bus then when Kacey's blood sugars went wonky that meant we had to sit somewhere and we couldn't just go home. It made a long day for her. As I thought about the whole "chaperone" thing, it made me think a little more about actually taking on that position. What if something happened to Kacey and I was a chaperone? I am responsible for an entire group of children that I now had to find someone else to care for. Is that safe? Not at a theme park! Our school lets these kids (6th, 7th and 8th grade) go off on their own and reposrt back to a chaperone at a certain time and location. Each "group" has a cell phone and they are to call if they will be late. The "group" then splits and these kids must be in pairs but I'm not crazy about this idea! Anything can happen! So I chose not to chaperone and I explained that Kacey would ride to the theme park with me in my vehicle and we would mingle with her groups of friends and when she was ready to leave then we would leave and that way if something happend to her blood sugars then I was solely responsible for just her and I could tend to her without added worry. Seems perfect, right? And then THIS happened within ONE HOUR of being in the park.....

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Check with meter revealed....
Yep! I'd say she was LOW! Crap! I had my backpack full of snacks and our cups to get filled with drink. As I reached into my backpack, panic set in! I had glucose tabs with me but NO quick sticks and NO juice boxes. OMGGGGGGG! Really?!?! GLUCOSE TABS?!?! Since Kacey got her braces, she can no longer chomp down on glucose tabs. What the heck do I do? We had just gotten off the Tea Cups (kinda like a scrambler but inside a tea cup that spins) and we are sitting on a bench and she says, "I feel like jello!" My eyes scan the little kiosks and I spot a Dippin Dots stand with a cooler of PowerAde. "Kacey, I know you HATE the taste of PowerAde but right now you have no choice but to chug it and I promise we will follow it with something yummy." So, with the blood sugar of 58 and falling, I help her stand and walk her over to the kiosk. "Can I please have a blue PowerAde? Her blood sugar is low. Here is $5!" The young girl hands me the bottle and I turn to tend to Kacey. She's standing there just looking at me as I urge Kacey to chug the whole bottle. As I turn to look at her she says "Do you have a seasons pass?" LOL! Poor girl! She was waiting to ring me up to save me 10%. Geesh...$3.50 for a PowerAde is highway robbery anyway! We sit and wait for her to come up as she nibbles the goldfish that I gave her. "Mommy, my tummy feels too sick now to eat something yummy." ***sigh***  My heart breaks for her as her friends are off having fun and not having a care in the world and here she sits with a stupid low. She can't be a normal kid. Diabetes is always there. think.....what if I wasn't on the fieldtrip? What if she was off in one of those pairs of kids? Who would care for her? How would the other child run for help? Just another validation as to WHY I go on every single fieldtrip and I don't hand over the responsiblilty to anyone else to keep my child alive. She is my child, she is my responsibility and I will gladly go on every fieldtrip.

For those that don't understand WHY I need to go....this should clear it up! Imagine your child being on a theme park ride, getting off and collapsing from a illness. Diabetes doesn't sleep. Diabetes doesn't always play nice. THIS is why we need a cure and THIS is why we advocate. When your healthy child is off having fun and riding those roller coasters, we are sitting on a bench treating a blood sugar and trying to keep Kacey safe enough to even ride those rides.

Yeah.....Diabetes....YOU SUCK!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

In Loving Memory of Shamae

I've been a complete jumbled mess since I found out about Shamae's passing on Sunday night. I've had a hard time finding the words and this all seems like a big blur.

I didn't see all of the posts until we got home from our trip to Busch Gardens. It was about 11pm and as I sat down and begain to scroll through my newsfeed, I scanned over posts like usual...reading the important posts and scanning over the other junk of complaints. And then....the photo of the three girls...a post about the passing of Shamae. I read it....I reread it....and REREAD it! It can't be true! Someone must be talking about a friend of Shamae's....NOT Shamae! As I sat there with my mouth open, my husband was asking me to move so he could fold the covers down. I never heard him. I was zoned out....trying to register what I was reading over and over. He then yelled at me, "Jill, MOVE!" I looked up at him and the look on my face must have been bad because he came over to my side of the bed and asked me what was wrong? I handed him my phone and the tears came out of nowhere. It had sunk it and registered. It was Shamae, not a friend of hers, not a stranger...really HER! He read over the post and all I could do was sob uncontrollably. Those three girls! Her poor husband! I didn't know any details about what happened, only that she had gone to sleep and didn't wake up. But the devestation that was rocking our community was ever so present on Facebook.

I first met Shamae through my blog. She had commented to several posts of mine and although there was an age difference between our girls, they still had a connection....Type 1 Diabetes. Syd was diagnosed a few months before Kacey so we were going through those same emotions together. I would email her with problems and she would email me back. Emails became texts and texts became phone calls. We became cheerleaders for one another! Celebrating the good days and crying for the bad days. Syd and Kacey began emailing funny videos back and forth. Words of encouragement and "You're doing a great job!" filled the videos. A friendship was formed and we have diabetes to thank. Being on opposite sides of the US made it difficult for us to meet in person but we felt as if we'd known one another forever.

Today, we honor Shamae Lyon.
A sweet soul and a forever friend
Taken too soon
Leaving behind three sweet little girls....Sydney, Morgan and Hadlee
Leaving behind a loving husband....Loren

My prayers for the girls....may you always know how much your Mommy loved you. You were her world. You were her light in the dark. She revolved around all three of you. As you get older, may you all three become the loving, caring, social, compassionate woman your Mommy was. She could make someone's day with a simple post or comment. She knew how to cheer someone on when she knew they were down and out and she joined in the cheers when she knew someone was having a great day. She was an advocate and her devotion to making sure those around her were clearly educated about diabetes was infectious. It made us want to be better advocates and better mothers. May you each grow up to live healthy lives and I pray your Daddy will keep us updated with pictures as much as your Mommy did. Much love to all three of you! ((((HUGS)))

Loren...your wife was simply AMAZING! But then again, you already knew that! My prayer is that you find comfort and peace as you move forward without her. The days ahead will be tough. The days ahead will be dark. But I hope you find light and peace as you are flooded with all of the memories of her. She will be dearly missed in our Diabetes Community.

What did I learn from Shamae? If there is one thing I learned it's....TAKE MORE SELF PICTURES!
I don't take enough pictures of myself. Mostly because I am always behind the camera and because I always feel "fat" in pictures. But as I looked back over Shamae's posts and her Facebook, it's all SMILING pics of her and family & friends. She was ALWAYS smiling...even in pics when she is sick and a black eye. SMILE....thats what we all need to do more. When we leave this Earth, we have the memories that we've captured in our hearts but having the concrete photos to look back on are PRICELESS! beautiful friend...may you soar with the angels! May you watch over those beautiful girls as they grow into lovely women. May you comfort your husband from above and show him your presence. May you rest in sweet peace!


Monday, August 12, 2013

Who Cares?

What do you do when you have so much to say and no place to say it?

My head is a whirlwind and I've got feelings I need to pour out and I've thought about making my blog private to put everything I want to say out there. I've thought about starting a new blog so I can say what I want without certain people having access to what I say but since I know this blog is "closely monitored" by certain people then I will have to keep my thought to myself this time. I'm stupid for ever sharing this blog on my Facebook or ever mentioning that I write to vent. Ever since the drama that happened with it, I've never felt like I could share what I really want to say....those raw feelings we all have as Moms, Wives, Sisters and Friends. Why do I care what anyone thinks? Why should I worry that what I say would cause a war amoung friends and family? Because I'm me....thats why! I try and keep as much peace as I can before blowing and this bottle is ready to burst.

Diabetes....a life we didn't choose but a life we were given. It's a life that NO ONE can completely understand unless you are faced with it. It's a life that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. The daily footsteps we make in this life are sometimes the most difficult to walk with those who just "don't get it"! It infuriates me when someone judges me based on a Facebook post or based on something told to them. "Oh, it's just diabetes! It's not like your child has cancer and is facing death." child faces death straight in the eyes EVERY SINGLE DAY! I still hold my breath as I walk from my room to hers at 2am to do those middle of the night checks. I still hold my breath when I walk from my room to hers when I wake her up in the morning. Why do I hold my breath? Because I'm so freaking scared to death that I am going to be the one to find my child dead one morning. Because I'm the one who is scared that her pump is going to malfunction and not give her the insulin she needs to survive the night or that it might burst and give her too much insulin that could potentially kill her. YES, friends....IT SCARES THE HOLY HECK OUT OF ME! I worry...ALL THE TIME! This person doesn't have to worry about their kids. You child may have had a surgery or two, and when that surgery is over then your child is well again. A surgery won't make my child better. Nothing but a CURE will! So yes, it IS like she is facing cancer!  She DOES face death. One wrong move and her life could slip away in a single instant. It's so hard to get some people to understand why you're so overprotective and why you've become a helicopter parent. I am the one that keeps her ALIVE! I'm the one walking around with numbers jumbling in my head as we SWAG (scientific wild ass guess) the carbs in meals we have no carb count for. How would YOU feel if YOU had to count the carbs for every single thing that went into your child's mouth? Yes....EVERY SINGLE THING! That means....that mint, that gum, that handful of goldfish, those two cookies, and even those few fries you gave him/her... EVERY SINGLE THING! And on top of that, do you know how many carbs are in the 5 fries you just gave your child? How about that huge ice cream sundae you just made? Or what about that piece of birthday cake? Yep! Diabetes doesn't sleep so even at your child's birthday party you have to stop, make them test their blood sugar and then decide if he/she can have that big piece of cake or that small piece. How about that big Thanksgiving dinner that your child just asked for seconds on? It SUCKS! Everything about diabetes SUCKS...ok well maybe not everything because I've met some of the most amazing and generous D-Moms around. Yeah, they get it! They know what it's like to worry and be frustrated when those around us don't understand. They are the reason I am here because I would of made this blog private so no one could ever view it again but THEY CARE! So if you want to continue on your daily life of judging me then that is fine but I can only hope and pray the genetics are in your favor and that your busy healthy life isn't affected by the diabetes gremlins. I hope and pray you are never faced with the daily life struggles and the worry that we have.

How do you deal with others making diabetes seem like a head cold? Do you just ignore them? Do you educate them? Do you take those emotions and internalize them rather than vent on Facebook? Do you blog them?

That being said, it's only a few weeks til school starts and I'm getting a little nervous. We're off to a new school and a new nurse. So this means we are faced with teaching others about diabetes and Kacey's care. It's going to be a challege but I am confident it's one we can handle. Look out 8th we come!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013


"You need to make sure you're watching her feet!"
"It's important for you to inspect her feet carefully."
"Make sure you are wearing good shoes because you have to take good care of you feet."

We hear this all the time from people!

WHY is it so important to care for a diabetic's feet?

Proper foot care is very important when you have diabetes. Poor foot care could lead to amputation of a foot or leg. People with diabetes are more vulnerable to foot problems because diabetes can damage the nerves and reduce blood flow to your feet. The American Diabetes Association estimates that one in five people with diabetes seek care for foot problems. By taking proper care of your feet, most serious health problems associated with diabetes can be prevented.

I found this interesting information while surfing the internet about diabetic feet:

Wash and Dry Your Feet Daily

  • Use mild soaps
  • Use warm water
  • Pat your skin dry; do not rub. Thoroughly dry your feet.
  • After washing, use lotion on your feet to prevent cracking. Do not put lotion between your toes.

Examine Your Feet Each Day

  • Check the tops and bottoms of your feet. Have someone else look at your feet if you cannot see them.
  • Check for dry, cracked skin.
  • Look for blisters, cuts, scratches, or other sores.
  • Check for redness, increased warmth, or tenderness when touching any area of your feet.
  • Check for ingrown toenails, corns, and calluses.
  • If you get a blister or sore from your shoes, do not "pop" it. Apply a bandage and wear a different pair of shoes.

Take Care of Your Toenails

  • Cut toenails after bathing, when they are soft.
  • Cut toenails straight across and smooth with a nail file.
  • Avoid cutting into the corners of toes.
  • Do not cut cuticles.
  • You may want a podiatrist (foot doctor) to cut your toenails.

Be Careful When Exercising

  • Walk and exercise in comfortable shoes.
  • Do not exercise when you have open sores on your feet.

Protect Your Feet With Shoes and Socks

  • Never go barefoot. Always protect your feet by wearing shoes or hard-soled slippers or footwear.
  • Avoid shoes with high heels and pointed toes.
  • Avoid shoes that expose your toes or heels (such as open-toed shoes or sandals). These types of shoes increase your risk for injury and potential infections.
  • Try on new footwear with the type of socks you usually wear.
  • Do not wear new shoes for more than an hour at a time.
  • Change your socks daily.
  • Look and feel inside your shoes before putting them on to make sure there are no foreign objects or rough areas.
  • Avoid tight socks.
  • Wear natural-fiber socks (cotton, wool, or a cotton-wool blend).
  • Wear special shoes if your health care provider recommends them.
  • Wear shoes/boots that will protect your feet from various weather conditions (cold, moisture, etc.).
  • Make sure your shoes fit properly. If you have neuropathy (nerve damage), you may not notice that your shoes are too tight. Perform the "footwear test" described below.

Footwear Test

Use this simple test to see if your shoes fit correctly:
  • Stand on a piece of paper. (Make sure you are standing and not sitting, because your foot changes shape when you stand.)
  • Trace the outline of your foot.
  • Trace the outline of your shoe.
  • Compare the tracings: Is the shoe too narrow? Is your foot crammed into the shoe? The shoe should be at least 1/2 inch longer than your longest toe and as wide as your foot.

Proper Shoe Choices

The following types of shoes are best for people with diabetes:
  • Closed toes and heels
  • Leather uppers without a seam inside
  • At least 1/2 inch extra space at the end of your longest toe
  • Inside of shoe should be soft with no rough areas
  • Outer sole should be made of stiff material
  • Shoes should be at least as wide as your feet

Tips for Foot Care in Diabetes

  • Don't wait to treat a minor foot problem if you have diabetes. Follow your health care provider's guidelines and first aid guidelines.
  • Report foot injuries and infections to your health care provider immediately.
  • Check water temperature with your elbow, not your foot.
  • Do not use a heating pad on your feet.
  • Do not cross your legs.
  • Do not self-treat your corns, calluses, or other foot problems. Go to your health care provider or podiatrist to treat these conditions.

When to Talk to Your Doctor About Foot Care

Your health care provider should examine your feet at each visit. In addition, see your health care provider if you have any of the following problems with your feet:
  • Athlete's foot (cracking between the toes)
  • Sores or wounds on your feet
  • Ingrown toenails
  • Increasing numbness or pain
  • Calluses
  • Redness
  • Blackening of skin
  • Bunions
  • Infection
  • Hammer toes (when the middle joint of toes is permanently bent downward)
Interesting stuff, huh?

I was also recommended another site to purchase shoes, Dr. Comfort at I see these shoes can be very pricey but could be covered by insurance. Has anyone heard about this company or bought special "diabetic" shoes before? Is wearing special shoes necessary? Maybe one day we could afford to buy these kinds of shoes but for now we'll just wait!

I've always bought Kacey good sneakers. Most of the time we get the from Reebok (she has a wide foot and wears a ladies size 10) but when we looked into special shoes before I couldn't spend nearly $200 for a pair of shoes. She is very hard on her shoes and so we are buying a new pair every 6 months or so.

How about you all....anything else to add about "Diabetic Footsies"?

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Endo Report Card

It's that time again....REPORT CARD TIME! Time to see how good we're doing as a pancreas. Kacey hates this visit because it always falls the week of her birthday and that always means lab work for her. She says, "It's my birthday present from the Diabetes Center!"

We got to see Nurse SJ this time and we LOVE her. We haven't been able to see her the last 2 visits so it was nice to catch up. She was surprised at how tall Kacey had gotten. She's 5'4" and still growing!

I had a chance to talk with SJ about the jump in copay for insulin and test strips. She couldn't believe they went from $60 to $125...EACH! We continued to talk about options and she told me she would like to switch Kacey to Apidra from the Novolog. They've seen some really good results with it and teens especially. She also told me that Apidra was running a special for the rest of 2013 on the insulin...$100 off your copay! So thats nearly FREE for us!! All I had to do was sign up and get the card with the number along with the new prescription. AWESOME!

Kacey's A1c hasn't changed....still 8.6% but she expects there to be a big change next visit. So like I said, this time it meant lab work for Kacey. Unfortunately we got a Lab Lady that was having a rotten day and wasn't friendly at all.

Other than that, Kacey is doing great! She wants her to try and work hard to get that A1c back into the 7's but she said she was confident that switching up the insulin was going to work.

Any Apidra users out there that can offer advice....good or bad?

Monday, March 4, 2013


While we are fighting all of these puberty battles, it's not too often that we have many lows or even lows that last very long. But occassionally, Kacey body goes into "working" mode and it's almost as if she has a complete and functioning pancreas. Diabetes seems to rear it's ugly face most at night. This night that I am speaking of was a typical evening for us. She didn't have any extra activity or over correction of insulin. We came home from church youth group and both girls got cleaned up and got their jammies on. It was about 9:45pm and both of them went on to bed. Kacey checked her blood sugar and she was sitting at a 389 with a headache and feeling pretty crappy. She corrected and I got her some Motrin and off to sleep she went. The house was quiet and I decided to get myself cleaned up and got my jammies on. I settled down in bed watching the news and I don't even remember falling asleep. And what does that mean?!?! That means the 2am alarm never got set!!

I felt like I'd only been asleep for a few minutes when a scream came from the other room. A scream like nothing I've heard before. It was Kacey! I stumbled out of bed, arrived at her doorway still trying to focus and there she was crying hysterically and screaming out that her whole body was numb. She had her meter in her hand but she couldn't function to test her blood sugar. As I scrambled to test her, my eyes tried to focus on the time.... 4:15am! WHAT?!?! It was then that I realized the clock never got set. Panic set in as I tested her... 63.... I pulled out Dexcom as I pushed her to drink TWO full glasses of juice. My eyes welled up as I looked at the screen....

She had been low for over TWO HOURS!!! She layed there with her eyes closed as she waited for her blood sugar to come up. Silent tears rolled down my face as that sinking feeling set in. All the "what if's" started to flood my tired brain. What if she had not of called out to me? I would have continued sleeping and then when my internal clock decided to wake me up then how would I have found her? It scares me and makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it. "Dead In The Bed Syndrome" is one of my biggest fears. I hold my breath every morning at 2am and again at 6am when I wake her for to know that she was low for those two hours and it was MY fault for not setting the alarm...scared me so bad! I felt guilty and beat myself up for a few days. I made sure to set alarms on my iPhone instead that way I know they will always go off and I don't ever have to worry about missing that 2am check. Thank you God for allowing us to have the Dexcom G4 (even though we wish the low alarm was louder like the high alarm). Thank you God for protecting her and giving her just enough strength to call out to me. Thank you God for allowing me to hear her when she did call out.

After her blood sugar came up to a 156, I went back to my room to lay down. I was so scared and couldn't go back to sleep.

We NEED a cure!