Friday, October 25, 2013

How Will You Be Remembered?

(**warning** This post involves DEATH and DYING so if you don't want to read about that right now then click the red X in the top right corner of your page....Thank You!)

Since hearing the news about Shamae on Sunday night, I've almost a whole week to reflect and allow things to sink in. Our online group of D-Moms is such a tight knit community and many of us have never even met. Just the impact of words....daily words of encouragement...daily words to cheer you up and let you know you're not really got me thinking.

How Will You Be Remembered?

If you were to die tomorrow...or tonight even...what would people say about you? What would be written in your obituary?

Would you be remembered as the bright light? The complainer? The optimist? The smiler? The hard worker? The great mom? The great dad? The giver? The taker? The church goer? The leader? The shy one? The outgoing one? Will they say you were a good person? A bad person? Did you matter in their life? Did you make a difference? Did you care? Were you supportive?

Did you leave a legacy?

It's something we all don't want to think about....DEATH. But it's a reality that all of us will face, one day, we WILL die. Some of us sooner than others, some before their children and some after their children. It's something that we tend to stay hushed about but we really should be talking about.

If you could write your own obituary, what would it say?

I ran across an interesting video that is well worth watching! PLEASE Take the time to watch it.

Are you REALLY thinking yet? Yep! That video did the same thing to me!

I've watched the outpour of love from our online community over the last few days. I've read all the stories shared about Shamae and one thing became very clear....she was a light in our community and she was an uplifter of support. Every single one of us can say, she commented and supported us. She was involved in many of our lives, yet many of us never met her face to face. She loved her girls and Loren but she also loved us. The pictures she shared with us on her blog and Facebook showed nothing but happiness. Sure, we all have our bad days but I can't ever remember her saying a cross word about anyone.

When we die, all our loved ones are left with are memories. Are you creating those memories?

Are you prepared to die tonight? Have you made those amends and said the things you want to say? Are you living today as it was your last? You may not be given the chance to wake up the next morning. You may not make it through the drive home this afternoon. Are you ready for your family to face those things? Have you talked to them about death, your wishes and how you want things played out?

So many questions have swirled around my head and it's a huge elephant in the room that I try to avoid. I don't like talking about death but if it happens, then I want my family prepared. I don't want people to be sad...after all, getting to Heaven is a celebration and everyone should be happy. The only reason they should be sad is because they couldn't go to the glorious celebration with me.

Yeah I know, this post is a downer but I've just had so many thing swirling through my head. You don't have to be old to die. It does happen and it WILL happen. We just wait for our time but we need to be sure we're leaving a legacy.

Over the next few weeks, I want to sit down with my husband and plan things out for our funerals. It's something we haven't done in writing and I want to make sure several things are very clear in the planning. I'd also like to write letters to my children. My wishes, my hopes and my dreams for them. Something they will have to my own writing and my own words...not just what others tell them. Just so many things that I need to get lined up so they aren't left with everything to decide on their own.

Sorry for the depressing post!


Kelly said...

Not depressing....just reality :( Ive been pondering this myself every minute of every day since...last Sunday. You are so right, this IS something we all need to "plan" and it shouldn't be the topic everyone avoids!

We are a pretty awesome group of Moms, arent we? ((HUGS))

Amy said...

#Ditto to what Kelly said.. it's just reality. Not only has my heart been broken for Shamae's family and what our community has lost, but I have ALL of these questions going crazy in my head. What if something would happen to me? Or to Jeff and I both? I think of Sidney losing her primary care giver and it reduces me to tears EVERY time. I KNOW Sid is going to be just fine, but I think of what Jada would go through if something would happen to me. Ugh. I can't bear the thought. Sorry for my rambling. I love you all so much...wouldnt be where I am without you!

Jill said...

I'm late responding to this...haven't been in a "blogging mood". I still think about Sham often and it still freaks me out a little when I see posts pop up from her page. I guess I just dont wanna accept that she's REALLY gone!

Amy- It reduces me to tears too! I guess now that Kacey can do everything on her own, it makes me a little less nervous but her entire emotional support system would come crumbling down. I just don't wanna even think about how she would deal with things. Scary! I love you guys too!