Pumped Up and Knocked Out!

I got a call today from Kacey's CDE. I had called this morning to ask what kind of OTC meds I could give Kacey because she's got a terrible runny nose :( She told me I could use any of them *gasp* Ok...I was under the impression that she couldn't take the ones OTC cuz they have sugar in them. She explained that she could have them...we needed to test 3hrs after she takes them...and if she continues to run high then she'd need a correction.

Then she goes on to tell me a rep from Medtronics came by the office with paperwork that we filled out to get Kacey a pump...WTF?!?! Uhhhhhh NO! I explained to her that I'd been researching pumps trying to be proactive...we'd chosen to go with the MiniMed since everyone we know has one and it was well liked...so I went to the website and saw that they would sent me info about the pump to read and I took advantage of it. A rep called me a few days later to ask me if I got the info and what I thought. I told him that I was pleased with what I saw...enjoyed the DVD that came with the info...and was looking forward to Kacey going on the pump! So he asked if he could send me the forms to fill out so I could find out how much my insurance covered. Well....sure! I thought to myself...well at least Im being proactive and I will know what sort of out of pocket costs we will have to pay when we finally get the green light for the pump. Ummmm well I thought wrong! The CDE got sorta short with me and told me that Kacey would NOT be a candidate for the pump until she got through her honeymoon (however long that is!) and then after that she'd have to get the ok from her Endo. Once we got the ok from him then we'd have to attend a pump class where we are shown 4 different models of pumps and then we get to talk to all the reps from each one....we take an hour....decide which one we want....and then Kacey will be given a "trial" set to be worn for 3 days and then we go back to the doc and they file the paperwork! OK....my question is this....if she knew all that then how come when we went to our appt last Monday, the CNP couldnt tell us that?!?! I was really upset by this point! Once again, I explained to her I was being proactive and doing my research as a parent and choosing what is best for MY child. The paperwork we filled out was so we could find out how much we'd have to pay since we are a ONE income family and I dont wanna be smacked in the face with a bill for $3000 if our insurance will only cover 1/2 the pump. And....as of today....we still dont know WTF they cover.....grrrrrrrrrrrr!

So I guess Im a bit disappointed now. I was really hoping to be able to go thru everything (classes, etc) and then once she was ready for the pump we could just do it...but it doesnt look like thats gonna happen ~sigh~

Now...about this honeymoon...
When you look up the definition of honeymoon it says :

Definition:
[n] the early usually calm and harmonious period of a relationship; business or political

LOL...ok so for the record....this is NOT a calm and harmonious period...and it is something I wish would end!! Why in the hell would they call this time a honeymoon? It should be called "The diabetes hellish roller coaster period"!! For now I can only hope and pray this cold Kacey has will kick her out of her honeymoon (since we were told in the hospital that usually once they get sick for the first time it will kick them out and her sugars will stay up...thus ending the honeymoon and increasing the need for more insulin) Not sure how Im gonna break the news to Kacey. Think its easiest to just tell her she cant have the pump til she gets out of her honeymoon. So hopefully by our 6mo appt...she will be out of her honeymoon...and when we see her doc (since we havent seen him since she was diagnosed in the hospital in July) then we'll be ready for it! ~fingers crossed~

Until later....
~*~JILL~*~

It Sucks Being "High"

Today was a rough day! When Kacey woke up this morning, I knew we were in for a rocky road! I can usually tell when I gently shake her to wake up if its going to be a good day or a bad day...lol! If I shake her and she grumbles and pulls on the covers then I need to put on my protective gear cuz Im in for a battle! If I shake her and she smiles and sits up right away then I know we're in for a good day with no tears. Well...this morning...she grumbled! I told her we needed to "see how sweet she was" (a term Ive used from the first time she tested) and she snapped at me and shouted "Im NOT doing it!" and I told her that she HAD to and she stuck her finger out and said "NO! You do it!" *giggles* OK...so I did it and she came up a 132...good number for waking up... hmmmm so then why so grumpy? Slowly she got up...got dressed...and it took her 20min to decide what she wanted for breakfast! On our way to school, she says "Mom, I dont feel too good!" Ohhhhh great...here we go! So I assured her that once she got to school with her friends then she'd be fine. We pull in the parking lot... "Mommmm I really dont feel good! I think I need to test!" So I get her kit out...test her...189. Hmmm...weird! But I knew it would be up since she just ate an hour earlier. We walked into school and she still insisted she didnt feel good and now had a headache. Since they are doing placement testing, I told her to go for the test and if she felt bad then call me. I figured by the time she was done the test, it would be snacktime and she'd be feeling better. I left and went to Walmart to do some grocery shopping...on my way back I didnt take my usual route...and I guess there was a reason why...lol! My cell rings.... "Nurse's Office"... oh geesh! I answer... Hello? ... "Hi Jill, It's Joanie" ***heart sinks*** "Hi There!" ... "I think you might want to come and get Kacey. She's not feeling well and still has the stomach ache and headache. She's just not herself." ...By this point Im passing the school...LOL! So I zipped in and when I got there I was greeted by a non-smiling tummy holding little girl that said she just wanted to go to bed. Oh boy! She was grumpy! So I asked her if she tested...Yes Mom!...133. Geesh....ummm ok...she'd just eaten her snack and was at a 133 with no shot... could she have been low? I dunno...but her body was doing some pretty weird things! So I took her home...got her in bed and comfy with a movie...and then unloaded the groceries that Id forgotten I got! ~sigh~ By the time I got everything put away, it was lunchtime! Test again... 195... wtf? OK this is weird!! So she eats lunch...still has a tummy ache...but its not like a sick tummy...its a hurt. It frustrates me because I dont know what that pain is...I dont know what her "diabetes" hurts feel like! OK... treat the high...give the food dose...and she goes to lay back down. She was going thru a "clingy" hour...she wanted me to be near her...which isnt normal for her! Was she scared? Was she feeling out of control? Was she just wanting that feeling of security? Whatever the reason...I stayed by her side :) By 3pm it was time to test again..."Mom, can you please do my test? I just dont feel like doing it!" ~cry~ She had this look on her face like she was completely drained. Even though I had that same feeling...I smiled and told her I didnt mind doing it for her! Test....beep....BEEP... 316! WTF?!?! Where the hell did that come from? She didnt eat anything at lunch that would make her spike...she got 3 units...and 3 hours later she was HIGH! She looks at me and says "Well now I know why I dont feel good!" So could this have been coming on all along? Could she have "felt" this high early on? Was this a result of her runny nose? I dunno...so many questions and absolutely NO answers! I must admit....DIABETES SUCKS! She wanted to go out for a bike ride....WHAT? A bike ride? Geesh...one minute shes laying down with a BS of 133 and the next shes asking to go outside with a BS of 316! So I told her we would ride down the driveway to get the mail but that was it because I wasnt sure what her body was doing. Well...4pm rolls around...test....257! Still high but coming down. So 5pm...test again... 190 :) we're getting there! The headache is gone...stomach ache is gone...and she's reading Judy Moody...hahaha shes feeling better! Judy Moody....thats what I should call her when her BS go high!!! So here we are at 7pm....test....187. OK so at least its not too far from her range of 80-180...but it could be better! For now...shes feeling better and shes a 187...so I'll take that as we're doing good! LOL...but tomorrow is a new day!

On a good note, Kayleigh just called me and they won their game against the rival school ... 2-1!!! She sounded so excited! I wish we could have been there but with Kacey not feeling well, I wasnt gonna take the chance on being at a game that is 45min from home. She understood why we couldnt be there and was fine with it :) She did text me when she was leaving to give me some pretty exciting news though! She was asked to the Homecoming Dance... **shocked face**... I took a deep breath and asked "Who?" and she told me WHO it was! I quietly did a "Happy Mommy" dance because this boy has liked her for the last 3 years and she's never looked at him anymore than "just friends" or "like a brother" ... and he got up the nerve to ask her and she said YES! How exciting!!!! This will be her first dance that she's gone with anyone. Her 8th grade dance she chose to go with a group of friends so she could dance with who she wanted and ended up dancing with a group the whole night. So this time is a little different! He's a super kid tho :) I really like him and I actually liked him when I first met him! When he replied with "No mam"... "Yes mam" and "No thank you" ... Ummmm OMG a boy with manners?!?! Those are few and far between these days! He and Kayleigh text all the time and theres rarely a night without a text that says "Goodnight ILY" ...which I think it just so sweet! The other day he sent her one that said "If I havent told you ILY today...then I do!" Too cute!! So anyway...we will be off dress shopping :) Im really thinking that I need to take her...just me and her...and leave Kacey with Frankie. I havent had much alone time with Kay recently because all my time is spent caring for "The big D" and so this might be just the time we needed! Ahhhh.... Homecoming.....brings back memories :) Good times!

On that note...Im gonna head out :) Kay will be home soon...Kacey needs a bath....and I need some rest!

Til tomorrow....
~*~JILL~*~

Photography

Fall Mums on my porch

I've always had a love for photography. From taking family pics...taking pics of every precious moment I could capture on film...to taking pics of blooming flowers and scenery. Last week a friend of mine came up to Kayleigh's hockey game and was telling me about a class she was taking. She tried to get me to join her in a photography group a while back and then listening to her talk about this class got me all excited about taking pics again. So I grabbed my camera and spent some time outside today. I took the pic above of the potted Mums my Mom gave me. The color makes me feel all warm and fuzzy :D I can surely feel fall in the air! So....Im thinking about getting back into taking some cool shots and see where they lead! (Thanks Rachael! LOL)

Hilarious Moments

There are some days that Kacey's humor keeps me in stitches and there are two moments recently that stick out.

When I took her for her check up last week, we pulled into the parking lot and this is how the conversation went:

Kacey: Mommy I know we're in the right spot.

Me: Oh yeah? How do you know that?

Kacey: Because that sign says "Childrens Hospital of the Kings Daughters Health & Sugary Center" **see above pic**

Me: stifles the giggles Yep! We're in the right spot then!

OMG... it really said Health & Surgery Center ...hahaha! But we were definately in the right spot!

~~~~~~

Just a few minutes ago, Frankie tucked Kacey in bed and they were saying their nighttime prayers. I was standing in the doorway quietly bowing my head while they prayed. Frankie got to the end of the prayer and Kacey says "Daddy I have one more prayer." and I just knew it was going to be something about a cure and he says "Ok then, you pray" and she says "Dear God, please remind Daddy to brush his teeth before bed because his breath stinks...Amen!" OMFGGGG! I had to leave out of the doorway and run to the other side of the house because I nearly pissed my pants laughing!!! I laughed and told him...we've always taught the girls... "Honesty is the best policy"

hysterically giggles

So with that...Im going to bed!

Sweet Dreams!

~*~JILL~*~

Undefeated

Pic taken by Rachael Trudell

I sat here thinking today about how most of my posts here focus on our daily struggles with Kacey's diabetes and I don't really talk about my oldest daughter, Kayleigh, very often. So today I'm going to talk about her :)

Kayleigh will be 14 in 9 more days. I can't believe than in just 4 more years she will be graduated...off to the college of her choice....and persuing her plans of being a Pastry Chef/Cake Decorator. It seems that just yesterday she came into this world...6 weeks early...but a healthy weight of 6lbs 12oz and absolutely perfect! I remember days of holding her and wondering if I'd be a good Mom...if she'd grow up with everything she wanted....could I give her what she wanted...and would she be the happiest child she could be. Looking back over the times in her life that I questioned myself...I can honestly say I've given her all she needed and she IS the happiest she could be! She's made me so proud and I really couldn't ask anymore from her. She's so open and honest with me and I hope things always stay that way!

Being 14 years old in 2008 is MUCH different than being 14 years old in 1989 (when I was 14). The pressure that is placed on kids now by peers and teachers is so heavy and I know the last person that should be pressuring her is me...but if I don't pressure her to stay in control of her life then I have that overwhelming fear that she will spiral out of control and make some silly mistakes I made. Not calling getting pregnant at 18 a mistake...by no means was she ever a mistake...but some of the choices I made weren't smart. I know she knows "my story" and how I didn't make some of the smartest choices and I know she'll make her own decisions reguardless of the mistakes I made...but I do want her to have the ability to "pause" for that split second and think about the consequences if she does make those decisions. I look around at the friends she has...nearly all of them being A-B honor roll. She doesnt hang with a bad crowd so she's chosen her friends wisely. She studies hard and has kept her grades on Honor Roll since 4th grade. She's played hockey for the last 3 years and she's found her place in the defense position...and might I add....shes damn good! (and Im not just saying that because Im her Mom) She gives 100% in whatever she does. So what more can I ask for? Nothing. Not a thing. She's giving me 100% and balancing school, sports, chores, friends and still smiling!

Over the last 2 months, the emotions of Kacey's diagnosis have weighed heavy on us all. Tempers flare. Tears flow. But in the end we all still smile...or we at least try to! Right after we came home from the hospital, I remember rushing around the house with my Super Mom cape flapping in the wind...trying to get all the daily chores done...the pressure of not being able to catch up on things because I felt like I'd just come home from the hospital with a newborn baby...and I remember getting upset with her because I just wanted her to do what I asked her without hearing "Why doesnt Kacey have to help?" or rolling her eyes...and it didnt hit me until later on that I really do expect alot out of her. So for the last few weeks, Ive given her the space to slack a bit on chores and such. We've all slacked on chores the last few weeks! She really took Kacey's diagnosis hard and I really didn't give her any time to open up about her feelings about it all until later that night. The first night we were in the hospital, she sat up with me while Kacey and Frankie slept and when the clock finally turned 3am, I let her slide up in the hospital bed with Kacey to try and get some rest. She was so scared she'd hurt her sister and before she got in the bed she opened up and started to cry. She was scared her sister would die. She was concerned about how we'd deal with it. She was scared of the needles. She was scared they'd hurt her sister. There were so many things swirling around in her head...and being older I guess I expected her to handle it the way we did....but inside she was still that scared little girl. Even now...there are times that she will fight with Kacey to no end...but other times when she calls me to let me know shes at hockey practice and she will ask "Hows Kacey feeling?". Ahhh the joys of Sisterly Love.

So...in the end...I know she will continue to make me proud and is growing into a beautiful young lady.

~*~Proud Mumma~*~

Yep, She Made the Tooth Fairy Cry..twice!

Kacey lost another tooth yesterday. This time...a molar. I kept thinking she was done losing teeth but apparently shes not...LOL shes still got several more to go! So she puts the tooth under her pillow (yep...at 8 she still believes) and I tip-toed in her room around 11pm to find her stretched out and looking so peaceful. I stood there for a few moments...and the tears began to flow. From the outside, she looks so healthy. Her little chubby cheeks...her plump belly...her breathing normal...my little angel :) yet inside...shes sick :( by looking at her you'd never know that 2 months ago she was so sick. I stroked my hand down her face to feel how warm she was...pulled the covers back over her...and quietly slipped a note with a crisp $5 bill under her pillow.

"Dear Kacey,
You're doing a great job! Keep it up!

Love,
The Tooth Fairy"

When she woke up, the first thing she did was slide her hand under her pillow and she pulled out the neatly folded note. As she opened it she smiled and then she looked up with me and she handed me the $5 bill. I said "You want me to hold it til we go to the store?" and with tears in her eyes and said "No Mommy, please put it with the money for a cure." There was no way I could fight back the tears! How could I? Here is my child giving me her tooth fairy money to find her a cure. Talk about feeling hopeless! So I told her I'd match it...give her $5 back to her...and she could buy herself something special ;) ~sigh~ So not only did she make me cry last night...she made me cry again this morning!

Mommy is in Control....or is She?

Kacey had an EXCELLENT day! The plan that we worked out was a good one! I think we finally figured out how to manage things at school...lol...it only took us 3 weeks! She went to test at 12:30pm and then went to lunch with her friends (without Mom) and then she went back to the nurse to get her shot at 12:50pm. At 12:55pm my phone rings...

Kacey: Hi Mommy!

Me: Hi Sweetie! How was your sugar for lunch?

Kacey: It was a 112!

Me: Thats great! Did you figure up your dose?

Kacey: I sure did! I get 2 units cuz I didnt need a correction dose and I already got my shot and Im going back to class. See you this afternoon

Me: OK I love you!

Kacey: Love you too Mommy! Bye!

Me: Bye!

*sighs heavy*

She went to the nurse...figured up her dose...called me to recheck....and went on her merry way! I talked to the nurse this afternoon and she told me that Kacey told her we practiced over the weekend and she was shocked when Kacey figured it all up herself *smiles* So I think we've solved the issue we were having *wink* And...I gave Kacey a bit of her independence back doing it! So it worked out for everyone! I did explain to Kacey that if there were days she didnt feel like figuring it out then all she had to do was call me before the shot and Id make sure it was done right! She said she still wanted to call me everyday to make sure she was getting it right anyway! I agreed that was a good idea :)

This afternoon went a bit wacky! Frankie got home early from work so he went with me to pick Kacey up and then we came back home since Kay was still at hockey practice. Kacey got her homework done and went in her room to play while I cleaned up the house and Frankie did a few things outside. I decided that I was going to leave Kacey at the house while I went to pick Kay up from practice. Not even 5 miles up the road, my phone rings....

Me: Yes Dear?

Kacey: Hi Mommy!

Me: Oh Hey Baby! I thought it was Daddy.

Kacey: I just tested and Im low!

Me: HOW LOW?

Kacey: Its only a 78 but Daddy said to call you so he knows what to do *giggles*

Me: Did you tell Daddy what to do? (by this point I can tell Im on speaker phone)

Kacey: I did but he said "Call your Momma and make sure!"

Me: OK...well go on and eat dinner and I'll be home soon

Frankie: So its ok to feed her?

Me: LOL Yes feed her! You have to bring her up!

Frankie: OK bye!

Me: Bye!

5 minutes later....

Me: Hello?

Frankie: I got her dinner but do I have to give her a shot?

Me: Yes...if its over 30 carbs!

Frankie: OK...let me figure this up *pause* 52 carbs ... so she needs a shot then?

Me: Thats over 30, right? *giggles*

Frankie: Yes... ok bye!

Me: Bye!

2 minutes later....

Me: *giggles* Hello?

Frankie: I gave her the shot and she didnt cry *sounds proud*

Me: Thats great! I knew you could do it!

Frankie: OK see you in a little bit!

Me: Bye!

LOL...so I think everyone is hitting milestones around here today :) I got back home thinking I still had dinner to do...then girls had homework....we all needed baths...and the thought overwhelmed me! When I got home I walked into a house where dinner was made...dishes were washed...and Kacey was taken care of! Wowwww! Talk about a sigh of relief! So I ate dinner and heard Frankie call me from the other room. I went in there and my bath water was already run!!! OMGGGGG! I wanted to ask why he was buttering me up...but I figured Id save an argument ...haha! I heard him tell the girls NOT to knock on the bathroom door for anything because Mommy needed a break! *grin* So either "stress" was written across my face or he finally woke up to see that I was really needing some down time! I took 30 min and just relaxed...not thinking about a single thing... ok well maybe I did think about something...hahaha...but I wasnt in any hurry to rush back out to life!

Id say it was a great day with lots of progress! So thats great news :)

Til tomorrow....

~*~JILL~*~

Test Strips DO Grow Legs!

Hmmm....OK I had to giggle when I walked in the bathroom earlier! I'd just read a blog online yesterday that made me laugh because it was about test strips showing up in the funniest places...and I kept thinking OMG how does that happen? When we test Kacey at home, I do everything at the table and I put all the used supplies in a milk jug and put the top on so theres really no way that the little strip can grow legs and end up anywhere else....BOY WAS I WRONG! ***see the pics below***

Miley...what do you have under that paw?

OMGGGGGGGG! A test strip!!!

Hahaha dont ask me how she got it or where she found it but she was having a fun time batting it around the bathroom floor! LOL and she was mad when I took it from her and trashed it!

So...thats proof...no matter how careful you are about getting supplies into the trash...those damn test strips DO grow legs! Hahaha!

~*~JILL~*~

Disappointing...but Good Visit

Yesterday was Kacey's first real Endo visit since coming home from the hospital. It's been 2 months since she was diagnosed. We met with the CNP and she was super nice! We talked about all the school issues and she is going to have one of the other nurses that handles the 504's call me and we'll get that ball rolling! I was disappointed because she didnt get her A1c checked *cry* The reason being...its only been 2 months and insurance will only cover it every 3 months! So we have to wait til Jan when we go for the next visit and they will check it then! But...like the nurse said...I'll be more surprised with the results at 6 months instead of being a bit disappointed if it wasnt down as much as I thought it would be in 2 months....so shes got a point :) Then for the biggie.... I asked about the pump! She was thrilled to see that I was being so proactive about Kaceys illness. She is going to ask her Doc and then call me within the next few days and discuss when we can start the process!! ~gets all excited~ It is going to be about a 6-8 week process...between insurance approval...getting the pump...going to the classes....and getting her started. I know we're going to choose the MiniMed :) and so we just have to make sure its covered with insurance and take the steps to get it! Kacey was really excited after we left the doc. I think she's seeing that its ok to have rough days and that things WILL get better...we just have to wait thru all this and get there :) I alsmo mentioned to the nurse about Kacey's "brick wall" episode and she told me that was completely normal and to be prepared for days like that. She let Kacey know it was ok to release control over to me and let me do her finger sticks and stuff when she just feels like she cant do them anymore...but it was important to do them so if she didnt want to then Mommy needed to. Kacey laughed and said "Thats what Mommy said to me!" LOL....so the nurse said "Well we all know that Mommys know best!" Haha! *puts her SuperMom outfit back on* The nurse looked over Kaceys blood sugars over the past few weeks...trying to find any trends...and shes still very well into her honeymoon and still bouncing like Tigger. She told me I could help with watching for trends by highlighting the lows and circling the highs and looks to see what caused them. She told us to continue that morning snack tho because there are days that she eats it and goes high for lunch...but then there are days that she eats it at 10am and when she tests at 12:30pm shes dropped to 65-75. So she said without that snack she could have easily gone down in the 40-50 range...so keep doing the snack for now. Overall, I was pleased with the visit and Im looking forward to the call back soon!

Kayleigh won her game last night....12-0...yep they creamed the other team! LOL! It was a great game!

We were all so tired last night that after dinner and bath...both girls went right to bed and I layed down on the bed to "rest" and ended up dozing off fully dressed!! I woke up at 5am and realized Id slept thru the night! Ahhhhhh....I guess my body shut down and needed a break!

Today we're trying something new at school. Kacey has been doing really good figuring out her own dose...so today she's going to test her sugar...go to lunch...and then go back to the nurse and call me after she figures the dose...so I can make sure she's got it right and then the nurse will give her the shot :) We're trying to eliminate the running back and forth to school & gas bill...but I also want Kacey to have her independence back. I think the more "in control" that Kacey feels...the better she will handle this. So letting her go to lunch without Mommy at her side will give her some freedom...and figuring up her own dose then calling me just to recheck...is the way we're going to go. We'll try and see how it goes!

Til later....
~*~JILL~*~

JOSH GRACINNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Yep...he's lookin right at me...about 8 feet away!

Josh signing Kacey's poster & pic

Kacey with her signed poster & pic

Kacey with her shirt Josh tossed to her

HOLYYYYYYY MOLEYYYYYYYYYYY! We just got home from the Josh Gracin concert at Busch Gardens tonight. OMG It was amazinggggggggggg!!! The concert started at 6pm and at 4:30pm we decided we were gonna zip over to Busch (only a 30min drive) since my Mom called and said it wasnt crowded at all. Hmmmm...not crowded? How can that be? American Idol's Josh Gracin was taking the stage in an hour and a half and it WASN'T crowded?!?! So I threw some things in a backpack and out the door we went! We got over there and got into the concert...walked right up to the very front of the stage...and waited....waited ....and waited some more! LOL! At 6pm he came out!! Before we'd run out the door from home, Kay mentioned making a sign. OK...so I grabbed a piece of paper from the computer...scribbled "WE VOTED FOR YOU" on it (since we really did make calls each week for him) and I threw that in the backpack too. So I pull the sign out and Kay's too shy to hold it now....well Kacey snatched it and says "I wanna hold it!" Well....it certainly got a reaction! Here we are...up against the front of the stage...Kacey holding this sign...and Josh comes over singing to her and tosses her a t-shirt!!!! OMG I thought the kid was gonna pass out....and NO her sugar wasnt low! HAHAHA! So Ive got two girls screaming and singing at the top of their lungs....when they mention that he's gonna be signing autographs at the merchandise tent!?!?! OMG! One photo moment that cant be missed!! We slip out to the merchandise tent and Frankie bought them each a poster for him to sign...well not only did he sign those...he signed Kacey's sign she held the whole show and he thanked her for voting and asked her if she enjoyed the show? LOL She was so star struck she just stood there smiling at him! As soon as she walked away she started babbling and didnt shut up until I finally put her to bed an hour ago! Too funny :) So it was well worth the wait all summer to see him.....AND I must say....he really does care about his fans! He came down in the crowd and was taking pics while he was out there...he threw out tshirts at every song....he threw drum sticks and guitar picks out...and then signed autographs. There arent many music artists that will do that with their fans! Not to mention...he put on an amazing concert!! By the time the concert was over, we stopped to test on our way out and Kacey had gone down to a 90....Hahaha...ummm ok we ran in the high 200's for 2 days....and she meets Josh Gracin and drops to a 90 :) LOL I wonder if we can rent him? ~giggles~

Im exhausted so Im gonna call it a night!

Goodnight,
~*~JILL~*~

Who Is That Man?

Since Kacey was having a better afternoon and she kept asking to go visit Nae-Nae (my Mom)...Frankie & I decided that we would take advantage of the time and get some dinner...just the two of us. We took the girls to Mom's about 6:30pm. As much as Kacey wanted to stay...this was the first time we'd left her anywhere other than school...since she got out of the hospital. She'd had her dinner already and was going to get her bedtime snack there and then we'd be back in time for me to give her the bedtime dose of Lantus. After a few tearful hugs & kisses, we were finally able to leave. I wanted to go to my fav place to eat...Juan's...a nice little Mex restaurant only about 3 miles from Mom's house.

So we get inside and we sit down at the table and Im looking across the table at Frankie and realizing that its been over 8 weeks since we actually havent had the kids around us to interupt our conversations. I laughed and said "Ummm who are you?" and he gave me this puzzled look and asked me what in the world I was talking about? I said "Well I seem to have forgotten who you are!" Hahaha! Anyway...we're sitting there talking and Im going on about Kacey's rough day...the pump....the CGMS....the doc visit Monday...the pump....my list of questions....the dilemma with the nurse....the pump... (LOL notice a pattern here?) So he looks at me and says "Can we just talk about us for 5 minutes?" YIKES! How's that for a smack in the face? LOL! I was taking the time that I could talk about us and using it to go on about Diabetes Talk! Guess I was a bit wrapped up, huh? So we talked about us...whats been going on...and we did talk about how we're handling all of this. It seems that we've been so wrapped up in trying to care for Kacey that we forget that we do have feelings and we're both dealing with this in two different ways. So I tried to understand how he's dealing with it and what we can do to make things a little easier during the day. After a little over an hour, I was getting the fidgety Mommy syndrome and feeling the need to get back to Kacey. So we finished up and went on back to Moms. Kacey was having a good time! I walked in to...her laying with Mom on the floor playing Monopoly on the cell phone...Kay & Brian were watching TV ..and they'd had their snack ~smiles big~ Kay ended up staying the night with Mom and we took Kacey and came home. Her sugar was still in the high 200's but she was feeling MUCH better!

All in all....a good night!

~*~JILL~*~

We've hit a brick wall!

I think Kacey finally hit a brick wall this morning (cries silently) As a Mom, I try and be so strong and not let her see how much all of this upsets me.

I woke her up at 6:15am. I knew by the sounds of her grumbles that it wasnt going to be an easy morning! I finally got her up and told her to test because she said her throat hurt and her tummy hurt. She screams out "I dont wanna test! I dont wanna do this anymore! My tummy hurts!" and then busts into uncontrollable tears. ~sigh~ Inside I was crying with her and screaming "I dont want you to have to do this either!" So I stood firm and said "Well if you wont test then I'll do it for you but you HAVE to do this! You have no choice!" ...and the entire time Im sitting there thinking to myself and remembering back to that morning after she was admitted into the hospital...yeah that morning that I was functioning on just 1 hour sleep...and I remember the CDE telling us the "process" that we'd go through. Sorta like the grieving process...the shock....the tears...the anger....the depression....the rebellion... yep all those emotions associated with grieving because basically that is what we're going through. So it clicked this morning...could we be hitting the rebellion? We made it through the test...yes she did it herself. 156...ok well thats only 6pts from her target so thats good, right? OK ..."Kacey...what do you want for breakfast?" She snapped back with "My tummy hurts and I dont wanna eat!" Ohhhh great! Thats just what I wanted to hear! Now I struggle with getting her to eat something since its been nearly 12 hours since she ate last! Cereal? NO! Eggs & toast? NO! Pizza?.... you know you love pizza! NOOOOOO! I DONT WANT TO EAT! Alright Kacey...how about some Diet Sprite? She looks at me with this serious little look and put her hands on her hips and says "Mommy I dont want to hurt your feelings but have you tasted that Diet Sprite? Its NASTY!" LOL it was at this point I started to giggle....yep uncontrollable giggling....she was so damn serious but yet it was so cute that she was butting heads with me! So...she finally settles on eating some Ramen noodles. Whew! She ate... shot time.... then more tears because she doesnt want shots anymore! Not even 20 min after she ate...shes got stomach cramps and a head ache. Geesh! Im fighting a losing battle here! I knew the "I dont feel like going to school" was coming...anddddddd I was right LOL! So what I did was take her to school to pick up her work...let them know what was going on...and brought her back home. While we were on our way there she starts crying all over again and telling me she doesnt want the nurse to do her shots anymore...she wants me to be the only one to do her shots. Alright....its all I can do to drive without busting into tears. I know shes hurting so bad....shes struggling with how to deal with all of these emotions...and all I wanted to do was pull that car over and get out and hold her *cries* So now we're back home...first thing she does is strip and put her jammies back on. (LOL shes like her Momma) As she's getting back in bed I grabbed the camera and of course took advantage of the "grumpy" look. She wasnt thrilled but I told her she'd thank me for those pics later in life...LOL!

We go back to the Endo on Monday and I have my list of questions ready. I watched the DVD last night that Medtronics sent with the pump information and it was VERY informative. Im still a bit upset that they havent called me back since I faxed her blood sugars in on Wed. I guess they are waiting to discuss things with me when they see us on Monday.

This Evening....

This evening has been pretty calm here. Kacey's levels today were all over the place again. She woke up at a 142...then by lunch she went to a 262...this afternoon she was complaining of a tummy ache and she was still at a 252 and then within an hour she dropped to an 85 and she felt shaky....then she went up to a 95 and then to a 127. So she bounced all over today!

I got the info packet in the mail today from Medtronics. Im super excited about the whole pump idea! Ive been up late the last 2 nights doing research and reading all about it. I think the pump will solve our issues with the nurse and the whole dose thing. Also I think it will be much easier on Kacey! I got the info on the CGM as well and that looks super cool! With something like that she'd be able to monitor her sugar in class and know when she's dropping without having to leave the class or someone get her to the nurse. Anyone use the CGM system? I added that to my list of questions for the doctor on Monday.

Kacey is doing really good in class...despite the "Tigger-Syndrome" ...haha! She REALLY likes her teacher...and so do I!! She is just so compassionate and caring when it comes to Kacey.

On another good note, Kayleigh is feeling better...still a little stuffy...but her cold is going away. She had another hockey game last night and they won 4-0 ...YAYYY! She didnt play as much as she would of liked to because she told the coach she was feeling too bad. So the coach gave her a break and then put her back in. She has 3 games next week :) Michael & Tracy came to the game and Tracy is T1 too and she brought us some really good recipes to try. Kay is having "kitchen withdrawals" and is ready to get back to baking again! Tracy's been really informative with the pump. We really didnt know alot about it and she's got the MiniMed too! It's amazing how lives change when you have something in common! Who'd of thunk it? LOL!

Til tomorrow,

~*~JILL~*~

Things are getting better!

OK...I guess all my ranting has paid off...LOL!





Things with school were much better today. Yesterday, I started thinking about ways I could get Kacey to the comfort level of doing things on her own at school. She already knows how to do her finger sticks and wont let anyone else do those for her...so thats good! So this morning I told her to go to the nurse and check her sugar...then go eat lunch...and once she got done lunch she needed to come to the nurse for her shot and Id be in there waiting for her. So I got there after I knew she'd gone in the lunchroom :) and the nurse had already figured out her dose and asked me to recheck and make sure she did it right...sure enough....by golly she's got it! Kacey was at a 262 and she figured the correction dose and the food dose...added them and rounded already :)





~breathes a sigh of relief~



The lil booger is still bouncing like Tigger though! Yesterday she was a 150, 214, 87, 229, 121, and 202...LOL all over the place!

Today hasnt been much better ... ~sigh~

More later....
~*~JILL~*~

Busch Gardens

Kacey & Whitney with Kasey Kahne's race car

Kacey & Whitney on the dragon ride

Kayleigh with her cousin Connor

Kacey & Whitney with the poster of Josh Gracin

Kacey with her cousin Whitney

Long Day!

I took the girls over to Busch Gardens today at 10am. We stopped by and met up with their cousins Bev, Whitney & Connor. We decided to pack a lunch so we didn't have to buy lunch in the park. It was a gorgeous day....great weather...and the park wasn't crowded at all! Kaceys sugar was a 177 when she woke up so that wasnt too bad. By snacktime she checked and it was a 271!! Lunch....360....YIKES!!! Then around 4pm she tested and was still a 322! She just tested for dinner and shes down to a 191. So I dont know what her poor body is doing...LOL! She never once complained of feeling bad...her ketones were negative...and she was in the best mood! So Im not too concerned about it :) They had so much fun today! Next weekend is the Josh Gracin concert...and we are SOOOO excited!!

Til tomorrow....

~*~JILL~*~

FUNNY!!

LMAO! Ummmm ok... I'll take 10 please! Hahaha! This one tickled me :)

OK....Now what?

LOL the pic of this glucose monitor made me giggle!!

Soooooo... Kacey woke up this morning at a 157...which is great! Then by lunch she was up to a 237...yikes! So I thought maybe it was just because of what she ate. Well...by dinner she was a 217 and she just tested for bedtime and it was a 257...good grief! Here we go.....back on the roller coaster once again! So now what does this mean? Well...2 things....either the dose/carb change was too much...OR...those last few cells in her pancreas that were working, have now stopped working and that means shes rounded out of her honeymoon! Not sure what the doc will do next week?

We made it thru the storm with no damage :) It rained most of the day and so it ended up being a lazy day inside. I was able to have some "Mommy time" and had time on the computer. Once the rain let up, Frankie and the girls went to pick up some movies before the next batch of rain came thru. I finally got to see "27 Dresses" ....wonderful movie!

Been feeling like crap most of the day! I think Im coming down with a cold....or my allergies are starting to kick up :( Ive just felt achy and Ive been in my jammies ALL day!

I'm off to bed!

Goodnight :)

~*~JILL~*~

Two day update before the storm hits

Just thought I'd update the last 2 days before the storm hits because I don't know whats gonna happen and if we're gonna lose power.

Yesterday was Kaceys best day yet :D She woke up with a 178...at lunch was a 164...afternoon was a 114....then another 114....103 for dinner....and 192 for bedtime. YAYYYYYYYY! Those are great numbers!! The nurse gave her the shot again and she did it right....Wooohoooooo! I was so pleased with her day :)

Today she woke up at 139...was 128 for lunch....158 for afternoon....and 100 for dinner....YAYYYYYYYYYYY! Another good day :) She is adjusting so well and her teacher is just amazing!! Yesterday her teacher asked me what she could give Kacey for snack this afternoon because it was "Fun Friday" and she was doing popcorn, soda and a movie. Well...I told her she could have the popcorn without a shot but she couldnt have the soda so her water bottle would do :) Well...when I got there for lunch today her teacher asked me if Kacey could have sugar free lemonade? (Keep in mind, her teacher's husband found out last year hes Type 2 so she knew what to look for) So...I asked her how many carbs were in it and she said less than 1 :) So of course she could have it! OK....now....why and I telling you this? Well because I thought to myself...now THATS a great teacher! This teacher took it upon herself to bring in a sugar free lemonade so Kacey wouldnt feel left out so it made me smile inside knowing she was in such good hands :) When I got there this afternoon to pick Kacey up, her nurse pulled me to the side and said she needed to talk to me. Uhoh! So I went in the office with her and she said Kacey had a great afternoon and said that when they were coming in from outside one of the teachers that is the Occupational Therapist (only at school 3 days a week) was standing in the door way and Kaceys face lit up and she said "Excuse me, is that a pump?" Well the OT was taken back because none of the kids know what that is! She said "Yes it is!" and Kacey struck up a conversation with her and told her that she was T1 and its only been 7 weeks for her. The OT was so shocked at how "grown" Kacey was and how much she really knew and retained for only being 8yrs old. That made me feel so good! So the nurse asked me if I had some time and she went and got the OT to talk to me more about the pump. OMG she was sooooo nice! She talked to us for 40 min about the pump and diabetes...she let Kacey hold the pump and showed her how it works. Talk about a great experience!!! So again...it was a big deal for us...because she took the time to just sit and talk to us about it :) I was proud of Kacey too because she struck up the conversation and wasnt too shy to ask! So....a great way to end the week!

Hurricane Hanna is headed our way so Im not sure what this weather is going to do or when I will be back....

Sheri... have a great weekend and good luck with the Walk! I hope your team met their goal :) Give Nikki a hug from us at the finish line!! GO NO SUGAR NEEDED!!

Caitlin & James~ My deepest sympathy over the loss of your brother. Let us know if you need anything! We love you guys!

Have a great weekend!
~*~JILL~*~

Everything is ready!

OK...bookbags are packed....lunches are packed....clothes are layed out...and everything is ready for the first day of school tomorrow *sad* I've still got the sick feeling in my stomach and nerves have gotten the best of me a few times today! I've tried so hard to stay strong and positive but my insides are just crying :( I wasn't even this bad when the girls started Kindergarden!! That Mommy part of me doesnt want to let Kacey go...you know that feeling that "no one can care for her the way I do"... yep that feeling has set in! That sense of losing control and someone else not taking care of her the way I would. So yeah...Ive really got myself into a state!

Kacey is doing pretty good with it all. Shes had 2 moments today where she got upset and I told her we werent going to dwell on it....we were going into school with big smiles...and Id be back at lunch to help her get into a routine. So...drop her off at 8:30am...walk her to class...and then be back at 12pm for lunch...leave after lunch and go back at 3pm to pick her up :) I reassured her that until she was comfortable enough with letting the nurse give her shot to her that I would come up there and do it for her. I dont want to take that secure feeling away from her and have her all upset during the day waiting to get her shot.

Kayleigh is having a few nerves of her own. Its so hard to believe my baby is starting high school!! It seems like yesterday I was putting her on the bus for the first time...and tomorrow I will be putting her on the bus to start her last 4 years of school. Wow...only 4 more years and she'll be 18 *cry* Anyway, shes nervous, excited, happy...all wrapped in one! Im happy for her though :) I told her that these next 4 years will be some of the most memorable!!! (LOL...yep I remember those high school years!)

Well...I guess I will go for now. I wont be back on here til tomorrow evening to update.

Until then....

~*~JILL~*~

Weekend & Nerves

Happy Labor Day!

Today is the last day before school starts and Im so nervous, anxious and have this pain in my tummy that isnt going away! My nerves are getting the best of me *sad* Im trying so hard not to show how my insides feel!

So...I left off on Friday afternoon. Kacey did better that evening with a 138 and a 148 before bed. She woke up on Sat morning with a 115 and was a 148 by lunch. Just when I start thinking things are leveling out....BAM! She dropped to a 76 for dinner and then went up to a 250 before bed. *grumbles* She was cranky and had the "I want Mommy" syndrome so she ended up in bed with me and we kicked Daddy out (LOL!) I rechecked her sugar at 11pm to make sure she didnt go higher and she was a 234. So it was coming down (Thank goodness!) I let her sleep in yesterday morning and she was a 123 when I finally got her up :) We had breakfast and then went to visit Granny for a bit. We tested for lunch and she was a 121...YAYYY! So she ate some pizza but then said she felt like she had a tummy ache and went to lay down. We left Granny's to go to my Moms for a cookout we were having with Madison (the friend she met with Type 1 in the hospital) and her family. Kacey was feeling better and her tummy ache was gone so she went swimming a bit and then Madi & her family arrived and the girls "tested" together :) Kacey was a 68!!! So she immediately went on and ate dinner and then the girls wanted to go play in the pool again so we took them over. Madi and Kacey play soooo well together and Madi's brother and Kayleigh were getting along good so it gave us a chance to sit and chat with Madi's parents about all sorts of stuff :) It was really nice to sit and relax for a bit! We got the kids out of the pool and had dessert and then it was time for that dreaded goodbye again! Kacey started to cry because she didnt want Madi to leave. Kay & Madi's brother exchanged cell phone numbers. We had our final hugs and waved them off! So we went back in and gathered our things since it was close to 8pm and we knew we were gonna have to do the bedtime testing. We got home and both girls were exhausted! Kacey tested and she was at a 167 so that was good! This morning she woke up and tested at a 118 :) So after lunch we're taking them to the bowling alley and Kacey is meeting her cousin Whitney up there. They have games for $1.00 today and this will give her a chance to practice without using the bumpers since they are moving up to the bigger division in a few weeks!

Hope everyone had a nice weekend and I'll be back later with an update :)