Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Difficult Day

Today has been a difficult day.

Yesterday I got a phone call from Frankie's Aunt...the one that lived with Granny for 64 years. She said that she was going to have to move because she couldn't afford the rent where they were staying. Understandable. She asked if I'd come down there today and help her with patching some holes. When I got there this morning, I could tell she'd probably been up the entire night going through stuff. This was Kayleigh's first visit there since she'd been home and since Granny died. She sat silently with tears rolling down her face. Frankie's Aunt had already gone through everything in the kitchen. She'd gotten some rubbermaid totes and everything off the walls was in the totes. She didn't have a single box to pack anything so I made phone calls to local places and found some. As we drove, I asked her why she didn't want to try and keep the apartment? She told me that it was too difficult to sit in there and look at everything that was Granny's. One of our family friends is going to let her rent a little house not far from Frankie's Mom and his other Aunt. She needs a new start! We swung through and picked up the boxes and then we rode down to the house. I called Frankie's Mom to let her know we were on our way and they met us there to let us in the house. It's really cute! It's 2 bedroom, a living room, bathroom and huge kitchen....just enough for her! We walked through and I thought she was going to start crying but she didn't. I really think she's actually excited! In 64 years, she's never owned anything other than her car. She's never lived without Granny. So, as hard as it is, this new start will be good for her.

We left the house and came back to her house. I put the boxes together for her and we started to go through things. The more we went through, the harder it got. The reality of never walking back into "Granny's house" had really hit me. I choked back my tears because I didn't want his Aunt getting upset. She asked me if there was anything I wanted? Nah, not really. I told her the only thing Kacey wanted was Granny's brush. Yeah, weird thing to want, right? But every Sunday when we'd go down there for breakfast, Granny would be in her gown. After breakfast, she'd go in her room to get dressed and Kacey would go with her. Granny would brush her hair and then she'd brush through Kacey's hair. After that, they would both put on a little lipstick to "be pretty" and then come back out and we'd sit and visit. She's done this with Granny since she was big enough to toddle. So having that brush was something that brought some happy memories for her. She got that brush :)

We're still not done going through things and it's going to take a little time. I took a breather and walked outside. As I walked around, I got upset because all of Granny's flowers are in full bloom. She'd of been so happy to see them. She always had gorgeous flowers! I asked Frankie's Aunt is she was taking any of the flowers with her and she said no but I could take what I wanted. Once again, I got choked up because she's got a flowerbed of mums that I gave her over the last 10 years. Every Easter and Mother's Day, I'd bring her a mum for her garden. She told me to dig those up and bring them home. She's also got a mimosa tree that is 2 feet tall and I remember when she planted it when it was only about 6 inches tall...2 years ago! I'm going to bring that home too. That will be known as "Granny's tree".

Losing a loved one is never easy. The hardest part is letting go of things you know you can't use but you hope someone else can, like the clothes. I hope this move makes things easier for Frankie's Aunt. I can't believe that Granny has been gone nearly 6 weeks! Once she gets moved, she asked me if we would still come over for Sunday breakfasts? I think for me, thats been the hardest part of all of this. The week after Granny died, we went over there for Sunday breakfast and his Aunt wasn't mentally ready for us to be there and she spent that time crying while I made breakfast. We're used to walking in and Granny having everything cooked and waiting for us. But now, she's ready to have us back over which shows progress....and I'm glad! As hard as it is to walk in that house and know Granny isnt there, I'm happy Frankie's Aunt is moving forward and realizes that Granny isn't coming back so she needs to do what she has to do to live her life. She's 64 years old, never been married, never had kids and always lived with Granny & Grandaddy. Grandaddy died back in 89', so it's just been her and Granny for the last 20 years!

As I got ready to leave, she hugged me and asked me when I was coming back down? I asked her if she wanted me to come back down tomorrow? She smiled and said, "Well, yeah, and we can go through the rest of the stuff." I know what that means....she wants me there because the only room we hadn't really gone through was Granny's. Today was hard.....tomorrow is going to be rough! Lift us up in prayer because we're going to need it as we dig through all of Granny's most prized possessions. I asked God give us the strength to part with the things we can't use and I pray they go into the hands of someone that can.


Meri said...

Your post brought back memories of my Great Grandmother that I was very close with. When I was young she wanted me to have all her costume jewlery and I didn't want it. I often wish I had accepted a couple pieces to remember her by.

Your daughter taking the brush was so sweet.

You will find the strength tomorrow! You can do it!

LakeLady said...

My prayers are for you, your family and your dear Aunt. Even though, I have lost several family members to death, I can't imagine your dear Aunts pain. I am almost 62, wish were close enough to get to know each other. When my Dad died, all I wanted was his razor, toothbrush and glasses. They were really, really his. I understand your daughters selection.

Wendy said...

OH, Jill...this is SO HARD...reading about the experience just makes me realize how temporary all this stuff is. You can't take it with you. It all stays behind.

I'm sure the decisions you make regarding her things will be pleasing to her. I will pray that you have the strength to make piles and the wisdom to know what to do with all of it.

Your Aunt...I just can't imagine her pain. What a blessing your family must be to her.

Give her a hug from AZ.

OneDiabetic said...

Hi Jill, as usual, another great post, and this blog has been an insight and an inspiration to me, partly the reason i started blogging myself. I have recently added your blog to my blogroll, and id be forever in your debt if you could do the same!

From the other side of the pond, (the uk)