Complete Devastation

Where do I begin?

I've just turned Kacey's world upside down and she's sitting here with tears streaming down her face and there is nothing I can do about it! (Damn you, Cozmo!) Right now, I'm mad, upset, sad, frustrated and it's so hard to explain all the emotions I'm feeling right now. What is wrong? I'm glad you asked!

Our CDE just called to talk about changes this week. No changes since she is sick because the numbers are all over the place. Well thats good :) BUT... (ugh I don't like but's) I wanted to talk to you about Kacey's Coz. She went on to talk to me about how Cozmo was not making anymore pumps. We have 30 days to return our pump and she thought it would be in our best interest to talk Kacey into returning Herbie because she had this feeling that if something happened in 2-3 years and we went to try and exchange it, there wouldn't be anymore pumps. My next question...if they run out of pumps then what do they do? Her reply... Say I'm sorry? She said they talked to the reps from Cozmo and they suggested that anyone that purchased a Cozmo in the last 30 days, return it because once the ones they have in stock are gone....they're gone! She said that she would give us a Cozmo to borrow until our new pump came in and she would meet with us next week with a MiniMed and an Animas (we're not interested in OmniPod) and Kacey can press the buttons on those and decide between the two. She even offered to come to a closer location for us since the hospital is such a long drive. (We just love her!)

Right now...all I'm feeling is complete devastation! Having to sit down with Kacey and tell her Cozmo went out of business and we have to send Herbie back is like telling her a pet died! All she did was cry and I don't know how to console her. Her first question....Do I have to do shots again? No! We get to borrow a pump until the new one comes. Her second question...Which pump do I choose? I didn't know how to answer that! I did my homework when it came to picking out Herbie and I got info from every company and I've had Cozmo on the brain for so long and now I feel like I'm starting all over again! I feel like I need to reach out to the Diabetes OC and ask for help. I don't know which pump to help her choose :(

So basically, we are starting all over here! We have the choice of MiniMed and Animas. So PLEASE all of the pump users out there...help me with pros and cons of a new pump!

Ultimately, I'm so sad for Kacey! I'm sad she has to start all over. I'm sad that we got our Cozmo a week before they folded. Why in the world would they even send us a pump? I'm so lost :( So all the pumpers....please help me ease Kacey's pain and give me some advice on the pumps so I can help her through this!

I dread the day we close the box to send Herbie back!!! **cry**

Still Sick & 2am Funny

Yesterday was exhausting!

At 4pm, Kacey woke up from her 2 hour nap. I heard her yell for me and screaming she was low. When I got to the bed she was shaking and shivering like she had a fever but it was from the low. She had Herbie in her hand and looked up at me with this pitaful face and said "I'm low!" I tested her...63. Yikes! So I tried offering her juice and she refused and pulled the covers over her head crying. I grabbed 2 glucose tabs and she ate those. She was all sweaty and just laying there staring at me like she was looking right through me. She hadn't even noticed the bear beside her :( I tried to show her but she just seemed so out of it! After 15 min, Herbie beeped telling her to test again (I absolutely LOVE this feature!) and she was only up to an 86 but she was more alert. She said she was hungry and all she wanted was spaghettios...ugh! It wasn't until she sat up to eat that she realized that Herbie was in the bear. She was so excited! About an hour later, she starts screaming with her tummy hurting. Test again...338! Ugh...so now I'm thinking this is the start of ketoacidosis that everyone keeps talking about. Test ketones- negative. Wow! So by 7pm, she was down to a 253. She was still hungry but I had her wait til 8pm since that was her snack time. She was down to a 210 by then and so we did a correction and dosed for her snack. I went to lay down since by this point I had a terrible headache. I started to watch HOUSE and I don't think I made it 10 minutes into the show...LOL! Ya think my body was telling me I needed rest? Ha! Next thing I knew, my alarm was going off at 2am. I shut it off and realized Kacey was in bed with me. Hmmm? When did that happen? So I tested her and she was down to a 118 with no IOB so I knew she'd be ok through the night. She woke me up at 3:30am because she was thirsty and her throat hurt again. I asked her how long she had been in bed with me? LOL..."Daddy put her in bed with me at 9pm when it was bedtime". Ahhhhhhhhh! He's a slicker! I don't even remember her getting in the bed. I guess he figured if she was laying beside me then I wouldn't have to get up to check her at 2am. (Wonder if he was trying to make a point? LOL!!) Unfortunately, he forgot to put the lancet and test strips on the nightstand...hahaha! I still had to get up. The alarm went off again at 6am...tested her and she was up to a 158. Geesh...from a 118 to 158 with nothing to eat! Now that we got Kayleigh off to school, we're both going to lay back down and try and get some rest. I'll update later :)

Meet Mellow

Sometimes I amaze myself at how creative I can be when I'm put in a tough spot!

Last night, Kacey was having a hard time getting comfortable with the granny gown she was wearing. Her site is further back on her side this time and the tubing seemed to pull when it was in the pocket of the granny gown. I remembered seeing something online with a stuffed animal that had a pocket inside for the pump (can't remember where I saw it...sorry!). The wheels in my head started turning and when we left the doctor's office today, I took her to pick out a new stuffed animal that was "squishy" enough to sleep with and had enough room for me to make the pocket. Kacey chose this TY Beanie Bear called "Mellow". I opened up the back of the bear with a pair of scissors and pulled out a handful of stuffing. I then took one of Kacey's socks that was missing a match and shoved it into the hole. A few stitches later...a pump pocket! Now she can sleep comfortably with Herbie resting safely inside the back of the bear :) She hasn't seen him yet! I put Herbie inside and nestled the bear under her arm so when she wakes up she will be so surprised!

Stay tuned for the insulin pump packs my Mom has decided to make Kacey :) She's always been a great at sewing and she bought some amazing material with the batting already made into it!

Sick Day

It was a long night!

Kacey went to bed very fussy. She was getting really stuffy and then she had a breakdown over Herbie. "Mommy, he won't lay right!" He was in her pocket of her jammies and so we finally got him taken care of (which I'll post about later). She was asleep by 10pm...I set the alarm for 2am...but something told me I was in for a long night! Frankie agreed to do the 2am check but that didn't happen without waking me up! Kacey was crying with her throat and he brought her in to me and handed me the flashlight for me to see if it was red....LMAO! Ummmm ok...so yes she had a sore throat, she was feeling miserable and all she did was cry. I got her back to bed and settled her in with a glass of ice water. Sugar check... 146. Hmm well at least Herbie was doing his job! Just as I finally dozed back off...3:25am... *tap* *tap* *tap* Daddy? Daddy Are you there? LOL Kacey was talking in the baby monitor and Frankie never budged. I waited to see what she would do. (whisper) Daddy? DADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! When she yelled in the baby monitor, he came to his feet! (hee-hee) I layed there quietly to see how he handled it. He stumbled to her room and I could hear them mumbling followed by footsteps. Yep, she was back in my room. I got her calmed down and walked her back to her bed. I drug myself back to bed. I layed back down and let out a huge sigh.... 3:45am. By 5:15am, she was back up again and this time she ended up in my bed and we kicked Daddy out to the couch (LOL!) I knew she wouldn't be going to school today so I covered her back up and she went on to sleep. I got her an appointment at 10:45am. Diagnosis....the start of a sinus infection! He gave her a prescription for Zithromax so hopefully she'll start feeling better soon! She's gone back to sleep for now.

Grrrrrr! This just pisses me off because she was just sick a few weeks ago. Every single day when I take her to school, I watch parents bring their kids into school or the kids get off the bus and they are sick enough that they should have been kept home. Parents send their kids to school with everything from sniffles and coughs to kids getting off the buses with fevers and vomiting. This makes me so mad because it's kids like this that expose my child to germs that could be avoided! Just last week, a parent brought her child into the school and you could look at the child and see the child was sick. Cheeks were flush and I could almost bet you the child had a fever then. The Mom made it a point to tell other parents standing there that her child was sick but she had to go to work and for them to just call her if the child got worse. WHAT?!?! By 11am, the child had a 103 fever and went home. Ummm...aren't they contagious when they have the fever? UGH! Don't get me wrong, I know that germs are out there...my child is going to get sick...but I keep my child HOME when she's sick. But then, we're the parents to get the letter telling us our daughter is in jeopardy of failing because she's missed 11 days of school. I know we are exempt from this but the reason she missed those days was from illness and I was being a responsible parent and keeping her away from other kids while she was sick! So it's a catch 22...either you send them to school when they are sick and they get counted present for the day....OR....you keep them home and risk them failing the year!

Cold and 2am Vent

Ugh! I'm really struggling here!

Kacey started with a sore throat yesterday evening. I thought maybe it was just the change in weather and the pouring rain. At 2am this morning, she was awake when I got up to do her sugar check. She was crying that her throat hurt more. I figured giving her some Motrin would be the safest thing to do since she wasn't having any other symptoms. Before I did that, I did a sugar check... 205. Wow! So I gave her a correction, a glass of ice water and some Motrin and she went back to sleep. At 6am, she was a 146. Not bad...but not too great. Hmmm could she be getting sick? By 9am she was a 207...ugh! Correct again. Then by 12pm...231...yikes! By now, Herbie had decided to bungee jump twice ...AGAIN! Kacey had some blood around where the cannula goes in and it's only been 2 days into her new change. After she ate lunch, she was fussing about it being sore. Instead of letting her continue to fuss, we just did the site change and got it over with. She layed down on the couch...had a major case of the "grumpies"...and watched TV for a bit. By 3pm, she was atill a 234. Grrrr! So we did another correction and she ended up going out to ride her bike. I called her in at 5pm to eat dinner and she was a 127 when she tested. She ate and then we went for a walk since the weather was gorgeous. As we were walking, she said she was feeling really low and so we stopped to test.... 95! We ended up coming home and she got a shower. After her shower....107?!?! She's very hoarse and she still has a sore throat. So now I'm wondering if she's got the start of a cold :( Her blood sugars were all over the place today and I hate it!

I've been really exhausted this last week. The 2am checks are killing me! I go to bed around 10-11pm and then by the time I'm in a really deep sleep, the alarm goes off. Once I get up to check her, I'm wide awake and its between 3-4am by the time I can go back to sleep and then the alarm goes off at 6am for us to get up for school. I asked Frankie to help me but I know he has to go to work and it's hard for him too. But then again, I always work....even if it's not substituting....I'm Mom, Wife, Cook, Laundry Lady, Maid, Taxi, Volunteer, Nurse, AVON Lady not to mention the ultimate exhausting job of trying to be Kacey's Pancreas. I'M WORN OUT! I know I'm trying to do too much. I have this horrible feeling that a cold is headed my way as well. Everytime I get like this, I end up getting sick. I've tried to reason with Frankie and tell him I will do weekly checks and he can do weekends and sleep in. So far that hasn't worked! I'm not sure how to justify that I DO work too and my job is just as exhausting not to mention 100 times more stressful! I don't have just one job! I don't go to work and come home to a wife thats cleaned the house, volunteered/substituted at school all day, cooked dinner for the kids, made sure that homework is done right and checked, logged all the blood sugars for the day, washed the dishes, washed-dried-folded all the landry, paid all the bills and balanced the checkbook and then on top of that made a seperate dinner so it's hot....yet Frankie does. Yep, call me crazy...have I spoiled him that much? Nah he was spoiled long before I married him! LOL...and for now I will continue to sing Kelly Clarkson's new song "My Life Would Suck Without You" and spend my days as the sleep-deprived toomanymorejobstolist Mommy. LOL! Dammit! Where is my Super Mom cape?!?! **Yawn** I'll settle for my pillow :)

BTW, I'm going to end with tears streaming down my face. Kacey just walked in with a mug and said "Mommy, I made you some hot chocolate because you take such good care of me." (***cries harder***) Just like her...she's feeling sick and she thinks about me :) I think she knows I'm feeling overwhelmed! When I'm old and gray and can no longer get around, I know in my heart she will be the one to take care of me!

I'm off to sit with her and sip my hot chocolate. Goodnight!

God, thank you for blessing me with such caring children. Please watch over them and keep them safe. I pray for better numbers for Kacey and pray that we catch this cold before it gets any worse. I also pray that you give my hubby a swift kick in the butt and help him understand how overwhelmed I am right now. Give me the wisdom to explain how I'm feeling without blowing up at him and give me the strength to make it through many more sleepless nights. I'd also like to thank you for laying your hand on my Mom through her surgery and helping her feel so much better. Thank you for blessing me with many online friends and support. Thank you for your continued blessings. Amen

Pump Update

Happy Friday!!

Things have been going amazingly well with Herbie. Kacey is doing such a great job! We did a site change and cartridge change this morning instead of this afternoon. Her alarm had gone off to tell us she was down to 20 units in the middle of the night. This morning after breakfast she was down to 12 units and I knew between basal, snack & lunch she wouldn't last til she got home. So we did a complete change....NO problems with the site this time....and everything was over within 15min! She went to school with all smiles (and so did I!). I must say, it's been SO nice to not have to figure up doses and take time to give shots.

Today I'm sending up extra prayers for my Mom. She's having surgery to remove a lump from her breast that would turn into cancer if it was left in. She's such an important part of our lives and I know God will keep her in His care during the procedure :)

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Chance of a Lifetime!

Much of my blog is centered around diabetes and the daily life with that and I don't get to brag about Kayleigh as much. She was offered the chance of a lifetime this past week! My brother is stationed in Hawaii with the U.S. Coast Guard and he made her an offer she couldn't refuse. He is flying her out to Hawaii for the summer and she is going to babysit her cousins while they are out of school on summer break! She will get to go sight seeing and spend quality time with my brother, sister in law and family.

On the day she was born, my brother was in high school at the time (16yrs old) and he drove to the hospital while I was in labor and waited outside my room and was the 4th person to hold her! When she was a toddler, she put "Gunkle Cuck" (Uncle Chuck) on a pedestal. He would come over and play with her and from then until now, everytime he comes home to visit, her world revolves around him. I'm so thankful he's giving her this opportunity. It's not every day that a 14yr old can brag to her friends that she's spending her summer in Hawaii!

She will fly out the weekend she gets out of school and she will be gone until the beginning of August. She's so excited! I know we're gonna miss her terribly but I can't hold her back from having this opportunity. Financially I know we aren't going to be able to go this summer but I'm hoping that maybe by the beginning of next summer we can go visit. I didn't anticipate the financial burden that was placed on us with Kacey's diabetes care and it's really taken it's toll on our bank account and we didn't expect to have Frankie's hours cut at his job either but we're hoping that will change by next year :) Anyway...I'm glad she's getting this chance to go and I know I will have tons of pics to share because my brother is a wonderful photographer.

So the countdown begins......

All She Needs

Since Kacey's glucose meter is connected to her pump, she has the freedom to test her sugar anywhere and anytime she wants in school. I found this adorable little purse for her that holds a complete set change, cartridge change, battery & quarter, syringe, bottle of insulin, test strips, lancet, extra meter and glucose tabs. She also has about $10 stashed in it along with the Medical Alert card with her name and all the emergency numbers. She takes this purse all over school with her and she has everything she needs to care for herself. When she was on shots, she used to have to go to the classroom to test and dose herself. She missed out on classtime and had to spend even more time figuring out her dose and then doing her shot.

I'd love to be able to find some cute purses with straps long enough to do this yet compact enough for Kacey to wear and not feel an inconvenience. Most of the little purses are made for adults and the strap is much longer and when you tie a knot in the top of the strap to shorten it then it distorts the look of the purse. She just loves having everything right there incase she needs it!

Pumping Insulin @ School- 1st Day

Today was the most amazing day!

Before bed last night, Kacey's BG was a 144 (perfect!). At 2am, she was a 198 and I was afraid to correct so I left it alone and when she got up at 6am she was a wonderful 122!! She woke up smiling and was ready to start the day. Since the nurse was out of the building today, I decided to volunteer at her school all day just in case something went wrong. She went on to class and when she tested at 10am for snack she was a perfect 99! Holy cow! She had snack and by lunch she was a 118...omg how much better can it get? ***smiles huge*** She was a 254 about 2hrs after lunch but then an hour later she said she felt weird and she tested and she was down to a 157 (I think it was the sudden drop she felt!) It's now dinner time and she just beeped in at a 77 and it's time to eat :) I really can't put into words how thrilled I am about these numbers. (please don't let me jinx her...LOL!) She's had a smile on her face all day and she sang all the way home from school. Thank you Herbie for doing your job :)

On a sad note, I got several emails from you all telling me about Cozmo's terrible news :( I'm so sad to find out that they are going out of business. I'm glad we have the pump for 4 more years and I'm hoping in that time that maybe another company will take over the style of the Cozmo pump. I REALLY love the features of the Cozmo and the alerts that seem to be so kid-friendly. I haven't told Kacey about this and I probably won't for another 4 years because I know she'd be so upset!

For those of you using a Cozmo pump and haven't heard the news then you can visit the site to read more about it: COZMO DISCONTINUED

New Test Strip Pics

Kacey's been busy the last 2 months making more test strip pics :)
Just more proof that she tests her blood sugar...haha!

Pumping Insulin

Check out that smile :)

Herbie is officially loaded with his first cartridge of insulin and Kacey is an official "pumper"...wooohooo!

Today is freedom....freedom for Kacey to feel a little more normal...freedom from doing so many shots...freedom for our whole family :)

We had to be at the Diabetes Center at 10am this morning. Kacey was a little disappointed that we had to put in ANOTHER new set but it was well worth it ;) She was so excited to see Kristen again and I did her site without either of us being in tears! It was a great visit and I'm so happy for her! Since we did her last shot of Lantus last night, she is on a temp basal until 8pm tonight and then it will switch back to normal. She was thrilled at lunchtime because she did her first insulin dose with the pump. She was grinning ear to ear and said, "Look Mom...no shots!" LOL! Her numbers have been great and we couldn't have asked for a better day.

Bungee Pump & A Bleeder

**graphic pics** If you get queezy at the site of blood, beware!

Yesterday morning, Kacey was getting dressed and she stood up...and yep...Herbie went bungee jumping! I heard her let out a yell and went running. She was holding her side and she said her site pulled. I checked it over and didn't see anything that looked pulled. We went to Busch Gardens and when we got home, Herbie decided he hadn't had enough fun for the day and went bungee jumping again. This time I could see where it was a bit red around where the cannula goes in and I asked her what she wanted to do? She voted for a site change a day early because it was hurting. So I got everything prepared (wow thats a task!) and the tears started. She was crying before I even took the old site out. I felt like someone was squeezing my heart and this was a pain I couldn't take away from her. It wasn't a boo-boo that Mommy could kiss away and my heart just broke for her. With tears streaming down her face, she said "Mommy, I'm ready now." I put the site in and she immediately said it hurt and felt weird. I explained that it was new territory and it would stop stinging soon. An hour later, she was still complaining but it was also bedtime and she was exhausted from being at Busch Gardens all day. I got her to bed and she went on to sleep. I did the 2am check but I didn't look at her site, I only tested her BG. This morning when she woke up, we were both shocked to see blood backed up in the cannula and about 1/4in. into the tubing. UHOH! She knew what that meant and started crying. I told her we'd get through breakfast first and then we'd change it before school. She only had 22 units of saline left in the cartridge and that meant we had to fill and change that out as well because the alarm would be going off when she got to 20 units. So she ate breakfast and we prepared for another site change. I let her help me fill the cartridge so she'd keep her mind occupied. After we got that ready and loaded, it was time. When I pulled the site out that I put in last night, it poured blood! I grabbed some pads and she held them on there. Peek again... more blood! Press and hold....wait....peek once more....YIKES...it's still bleeding! Change pads...hold....wait.....check again....eekkkkkk! By this point, about 5 minutes had passed and Kacey was so upset. She sat down and I just had her hold the pad on it and try and calm down. We both needed it or else neither of us would be any good when I had to do the site. So we took about 5 min more and I made her laugh by joking with her and teasing her. Once she had a smile then I knew we could move forward. I put some neosporin and a bandaid on the old site and let her choose the spot for the next one. This time we numbed it with some ice. I don't think it was as numb as I thought it should be but it was numb enough for her to think it was fine. I think she really tricked herself into thinking it was really numb...LOL! Amazing what the mind can do! As soon as I did the site, she said she never felt it. I asked her if it felt ok and she said it felt like the one we did in class, not like the one last night. So I guess it's in right this time! For those of you that have pumps....when you put your site in, can you tell right away it's a bad site? Is there a way to avoid it? I put in a call to her CDE this morning because I wanted to be sure that I did everything right since we didn't go over those things in class. She said I was very right and we did exactly what we were sopposed to do. Any blood backup and the site needs to be changed immediately. I felt relieved that I did everything right, but I was still bothered because I wasn't sure if it was something I did wrong with the site insertion that caused the bleeder. She assured me that I didn't do anything wrong and I probably hit a vein or capillary and it was ok because now we knew what to do. *sigh* Whew!

Tomorrow is the big day! Herbie will officially be loaded with insulin :) Despite all the tears this morning, Kacey is still very excited about Herbie and she practically skipped down the hallway at school because she couldn't wait to show him off. We're halfway through the school day and I haven't gotten any phone calls so thats a great sign!

A few pics from this morning....

Pumping Saline- Day 3

Today has been a GREAT day!

Busch Gardens opened for seasons pass holders and we took the girls. The new Sesame Street part will not be open until April 3rd but they had the characters out for a Meet-n-Greet. When Kayleigh was little, she had a pure love for Elmo. Her room was done in Elmo, she carried Elmo everywhere she went, and she was one of the first to get the Tickle-Me-Elmo before it hit the sold out craze at Christmas that year (her bday is in Sept). Even at 14yrs old, she still has a small place in her heart for Elmo :) We made our way through the crowd and headed for the rides. They love all the rides and I knew Herbie would pose some new challenges since this would be Kacey's first time riding the rides attatched. Our first stop...Kacey's favorite roller coaster, Loch Ness Monster. I don't like coasters and so I was running down my list to her... "Be sure you secure your pump. Don't open your pack. Sissy will help you in your seat. Make sure the bar locks." (lol!) She finally says "Mom, I'll be fine!" and off they went. I met them at the end of the ride and she came off with a smile. She said "I sat down and just turned my pump pack and I was ok Mom!" (whew!) The more rides we rode, I was amazed at how she just adjusted Herbie to how she was sitting. At lunch, we sat down to eat and she pulled her pump out, counted her carbs, dosed on the pump and then asked me what was taking me so long? Haha! She had a chance to show Herbie off to her cousin, Whitney. Whitneys response, "Wow Kacey, thats really cool!" Cool? LOL! Wonder if thats what all the kids are gonna think? I'm thrilled with Kacey's numbers today! All of them have been between 80-130! We couldn't have asked for a more perfect day.

Tomorrow is site change day and cartridge fill/change. This will be my first time doing her site unassisted. Kacey is starting to get a little nervous because Kristen won't be here to hold her hand. *sigh* I told her I can't promise it won't hurt but I will promise that I will take my time and be as easy as I could.

Pumping Saline- Day 2

Today has been full of challenges!

Because Kacey is pumping saline until Tuesday and we're still doing shots, it's been increasingly challenging to remember to do the shots. She's become very comfortable with Herbie and I've caught her several times just taking it out of her pack to look and talking to it. New friend? You bet! She's doing all of the dosing herself and I'm dosing her with the shot. I'm very aware of how easy our life is about to get! Dosing on the pump is so easy compared to doing injections. Whenever Kacey wants something to eat, we don't have to go through the process of digging for a calculator and pen/paper. With the press of a few buttons, it's done! We're counting days til Tuesday :)

We went shopping this morning and ended up in the sleepwear section. We walked circles until a wonderful idea popped in my head. We walked over to the ladies section of jammies. I knew what I was looking for ;) I call them "granny gowns". They are the button down gowns with one or two pockets on the front. They had some really pretty ones. I showed them to Kacey and she got so excited. She's tall enough that she can wear a ladies small gown. I showed her what I meant about bringing the tubing through the front of her gown and putting Herbie in the pocket. So I think we've solved the dilemma there!

On a side note.....TWILIGHT came out TODAY!!! I bought it :) I watched it :) and I'm still in love with Edward! Hahaha! It followed the book very well and I wasn't disappointed at all. I can't wait to see "New Moon"!

Tonight we're going to see the PBR (Professional Bull Riders) at the Coliseum and the girls are excited. They enjoyed it last year and the company Frankie works for got free tickets so we're putting them to use ;)

Pump & Jammies

Help!

We're having our first dilemma. When we did the "pretend" pump for 3 days, we just let the pump swim in the bed at night and Kacey ended up tangled in the tubing. Kacey just had her shower and she put her jammies on, which are nightgowns (she hates 2pc jammies). She has Herbie in her tigger pump pack and it's on her belt around her waist and now she's complaining that it feels funny. The reason it feels weird is because the belt is rubbing her belly. I tried putting the belt on the outside of her gown and we're running into the issue of bringing the tubing out of the bottom of her gown. Help! LOL...what do I do? How do you sleep with your pump? Should we just let it roam in the bed like we did and deal with the tangled tubing?

Any help would be great!

***update*** (20 minutes later)

I put my Super Mom cape on because I couldn't stand her whining any longer and this is what we ended up with.....

We raided Daddy's t-shirt drawer and found one with a pocket. I cut a hole in the t-shirt and we put Herbie in the pocket and I safety pinned it shut! LOL...amazing what Mom's can do when we're up against a wall! *wink* The best part is...she's got a smile now!

I'd still love suggestions of what we can do?

6 Hour Update

It's been 6 hours since Kacey got hooked up. We've made it through lunch & dinner and everything is going better than I could have imagined! The only hard part about this is remembering to actually dose her with a needle since it's only saline in "Herbie". I helped her dose at lunchtime and then when it was time for her to eat, she didn't want me to touch it and I got the "Mom, I can do it myself! I learned how to already!" (ouch!) I had to make her slow down through the bolus screens so I could see what she was doing. I'm amazed that she can work it already! I must say, I'm thrilled about not having to figure up doses and only count carbs. The pump does all the work for us :)

I had bought her a solid black case that hooked to a belt that had bright colored hearts on it. The case was really a camera case and had a zipper on it but she quickly decided she didn't like it because the zipper rubbed her skin. Cara...you see what she switched to? She said those packs are soft against her tummy and she doesn't even know she's wearing it! So once again...two thumbs up to Insulin Pump Packs For You and Cara!

Pumping Saline

We're home from the pump training! Kacey is officially pumping saline with "Herbie". The 3 hour training ended up only being 2 hours for us. I got every question answered...I put her site in....and I'm feeling pretty dang confident right now! I was so proud of Kacey...no tears...except when we left and they were tears of joy! I just absolutely LOVE our CDE and the time she takes with us. None of my questions were silly and I even had tons more once we started programming the pump. She had Kacey do all the button pressing until it was time to load the cartridge. Since I will be the one doing that, she had me do that part. Kacey got a chance to fill her own cartridge and also insert a site on a "pretend" piece of skin. It was VERY cool to watch how independent she's becoming. Her CDE offered for her to put the site in her but she was too scared to, so she chose the pretend skin instead. How many CDE's would offer to turn your child loose and let her stick her with a needle? Thats why we like her so much! I'll quit jabbering and share the pics now. Thanks to Kayleigh, we got some pretty cool pics!

Kristen & Kacey programming the settings on "Herbie"

Kacey with all her supplies to get started.

Learning to fill the cartridge on her own.

Filling the cartridge on her own.

Kristen helping her get the air bubbles out.

Kacey putting a site in the "pretend" skin.

Everything ready to put a site in.

Me doing Kacey's site for the first time. (OMG! I was so nervous!)

Filling the cannula.

Kacey & Herbie.....FINALLY! LOL look at that smile!!!

The tears of joy after it was all over! Mommy hugs!

Pump Time!

In about 5 hours, Kacey will be hooked up to her new Cozmo, "Herbie". I didn't sleep well last night...tossed & turned. I'm feeling pretty nervous and anxious this morning. It's almost that same feeling I felt walking into the class after Kacey was diagnosed 8 months ago. I like to call it "the fear of the unknown". I've read the manual cover to cover....twice! Some things I understand and some things I don't. I've prepared myself with tons of questions. Thats the one thing I wasn't able to do when we went to the diabetes class after diagnosis. I wasn't armed with questions and I was so overwhelmed with information. This time...I know what a bolus is...I know what a basal is...I know what corrections are...so I'm feeling confident there because I speak "diabetes" now. For people that are not connected to diabetes, when I speak, it's like a foreign language and I have to tell them what bolus and basal are, etc. So I'm going into this training with all the knowledge I could have so far (and then a little). I've read "Pumping Insulin" (three times). I've read "Think Like A Pancreas", cover to cover. I've been researching the pumps since Kacey came out of the hospital. The day is finally here and I can hardly believe it!

Last night when Kacey was getting her Lantus, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said "Mommy, only 4 more days of shots and no more butt shots of Lantus." I hugged her and she just bawled. I asked her what was wrong and she said she was kind of sad. SAD?!? She said that she won't miss taking all the shots but she's sad because she still knows there are so many kids that have to do that. Ugh! Here is a child that should be thinking about herself and how happy she should be that she gets to go from 18 shots every 3 days to ONE...and she's not! She's thinking of others. One of these days, she is gonna make a damn good diabetes nurse! If I haven't mentioned that before, Kacey wants to be a RN/CDE at the hospital she goes to. So anyway, we talked more about "pump feelings" and how she was scared but since she had the site put in already she knew how it felt and she feels better knowing her CDE is going to be there with us.

I'm taking my camera so I'll have pics once we get home :) I'll update then! It's time to go wake everyone up......IT'S PUMP DAY!!!!

Pre-Pump Jitters

Tomorrow is the big day! We take Kacey for Pump Training and Saline Hook-up. I have to admit, I'm a bit nervous. It's not all the learning that scares me. I can handle that! It's learning how to put a site in that I'm worried about. I'm scared of hurting Kacey. I know things will be just fine and we'll do good but those fears sit in the back of my mind.

Kacey is very excited! The kids in her class are just as excited for her :) It makes such a difference when you have a teacher that gets the class involved. From the very beginning, Kacey's teacher has involved the class with Kacey's care. They all got to meet "Herbie" last week and Kacey is excited to go back on Monday and show him off!

We have to be at the hospital at 10am so we're leaving around 8am. We're meeting Kacey's school nurse so she can follow us to the hospital. I'm thankful that she is going so she will get the pump training as well!

I have to share something that happened in one of the classes I was teaching. On Monday, I had the joy of teaching 3rd grade...Kacey's class included. It was a Handwriting class and once they finished their handwriting assignment, they are allowed to complete work from their other classes that they haven't finished. During one of the classes, a little boy (who happens to be the son of a friend of mine and he's also in Kacey's class) really touched my heart and made me really think about the friends that Kacey has. They were working on a paper and they had to make an invention that used different materials from the earth. So he says, Mrs. Jill? (he calls me by my first name because I'm friends with his Mom outside of school) I sat down next to him and he asked me if he could get metal from the ground? So we had a conversation about metals and such and then I asked him what he was inventing? He's a very bright little boy and he went on to tell me all about the robot he was making and how this robot would help him with homework, etc. So then he looks up at me and says, "Mrs. Jill, I wish I could build a robot to help with Kacey's diabetes. You know, like a robot nurse." It was all I could do to hold back tears. So we went on to discuss what this robot would do and we had a few giggles. Then one of the other kids, who is not in Kacey's class (they change classes during the day), says "What is diabetes?" and this little boy says "It's when you have to be brave and take shots every time you eat because Kacey can't have sugar without it." The look on the other little boys face was shocking and he said "I don't think I could be brave enough to have diabetes." Brave... yes, thats what Kacey is! I didn't make a discussion out of it because they were sopposed to be working. So we got back on the discussion of the robot and then the little boy says "Mrs. Jill, I wish there was a robot that could find a cure for diabetes because my Grandpa has diabetes too." OK...now I had the knot in my throat and I replied with "Yes, me too!". It was all I could say. I saw a different side to this little boy that day. He's normally very busy. His Mom has been told he's disruptive. But today, he wasn't... today he was compassionate, caring and thoughtful. Today, he was not only inventor...he was Kacey's friend!

Also, this past week in Math, Kacey's been learning how to write a check and keep a balance. They were given blank checks to write and they had a balance of $10.00. Each day they were allowed to write a check for something (mechanical pencils, homework passes, erasers, etc) and if they had enough left in on their balance then today they could buy the "Grab Bag" for $1.50. Of course, everyone had enough at the end of the week to buy a grab bag. I'm sure you're wondering what was in the bag? Well, for everyone it was a couple lollipops and a mechanical pencil and other "goodies". For Kacey, it was a soccer water bottle, straw, bag of popcorn & mechanical pencil. Yep! Once again, her teacher went out of her way and made Kacey something special so she could participate but could also have something that wouldn't make her "sugar sick". (We just love Mrs. M!) I'm so thankful that Kacey is in her care during the day. Kacey was excited that she got the "special bag".

ThAnK YoU!!

A special thank you goes out to our "Guardian Angels". The box of pump supplies arrived...YAYYYY!! There were even a few "extras" in there!! Imagine the tears when Kacey and I both saw the book :) This was a book that was on my Christmas list along with another book called "Pumping Insulin". We got the "Pumping Insulin" book from our Secret Santa. After Christmas, I never went and got myself the book. Something kept taking up my "fun money" and I just never had the extra cash to spend on myself. I'm so excited to sit down and read it! When we opened the box, Kacey let out a squeal followed with "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Look its THAT book!" On top of the book layed 2 pictures... 2 pictures that are so priceless to us. The writing on the back brought me to sobbing. I won't disclose what was written but I will certainly cherish these pics. I've taped one of them inside the book.... a memory of the special angels that gave it to us. The other one went into a small frame and was put on Kacey's dresser in her room. (She wouldn't let me put it anyplace else!)

To our Angel... THANK YOU!!! I'll be calling you in just a little while :)

Expiration?

When Kacey had that low this past Sunday, something prompted me to make sure the glucagon is always within reach. We have 4 of them...one on the diabetes cart (the small cart Kacey does all her testing), one in her diabetes bag, one at the school nurse and one in her classroom. I pulled out the one on her cart and I was looking at the label and noticed an expiration date. APRIL 2009! Yikes! That's next month! I didn't realize they expired so soon. We got them in July 2008 so we haven't even had them a year and we paid $50 a piece for them!

So my question is... WHY do they expire after a year? Are they still good even if they are expired?

It sucks that we spent all that money on them and now we have to trash them. I guess if they are of no use them we could use them to "train" other family members.

HaPpY St. PaTrIcK's DaY!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

to all of you!

May you have a "lucky" day!

Kacey was ready for St. Patrick's Day...right down to her green fingernails! LOL...no pinches for her today :) She woke up with a BG of 168 and a smile on her face...it's gonna be a GOOD day!

Nasty Low

If there is one way to get out of cleaning your room....go low!

Yesterday while Kacey was cleaning up her bedroom, she said she didn't feel too well. She had "the look". As a Mom, I've become more intune to "the look"...yep the "low blood sugar look". Kacey gets this certain glaze in her eyes and the last few times shes gone low, I've been able to pick up on it. BUT..."the look" wasn't her only symptom. She was sweaty, clammy, had the "shakies" and a sick stomach on top of those. This is the first time shes gotten multiple symptoms. She tested... 56! She had just tested an hour before and was a 123 but said she "felt funny". Did she feel the low coming? Was she dropping so fast that her body was reacting earlier than it should have? I'll never know but what I do know is this low knocked her off her feet! Since it was lunchtime, she went on and ate lunch. After she ate, she layed down on the couch and closed her eyes.
Me : "Kacey, are you ok?"
Kacey: "No Mom, I'm sick."
Me: "Sick? Diabetes sick or Real people sick?" (it's a shame when you have to use those 2 things to distinguish which type of sick she is!)
Kacey: "Diabetes sick"
Me: "OK, whats wrong? What hurts?"
Kacey: "Nothing hurts, I'm just diabetes sick."
Me: "Sick of diabetes? Or really sick?" (Haha! Imagine the confusion trying to get her to tell me what was wrong)
Kacey: "No Mom! My stomach is sick and I just need to lay here!"
Me: "OK but don't close your eyes and I need you to talk to me."
Kacey: "But Mom, I need to close my eyes because I have to rest."
Me: "Can't you rest with your eyes open?"
Kacey: "No because I'm trying to tell my blood sugar to come up!" (HAHAHAHA!)

This low is the first low that really scared me. Don't get me wrong...all lows are scary but this one really took a toll on her. It was like I was watching someone trying to bring their blood pressure down. She was laying very still and very quiet. She was waiting for her sugar to come up. After about 45 minutes, it was as if nothing had happened and she was back in her room playing. I teased her and told her I think her body just wanted to get out of cleaning her room ;) We both had a good chuckle but it still didn't take away the fact that "D-Low Demon" got in the way.

I know lows are scary for her and I'm very good at hiding how much they scare me. We did get a chance to talk later in the evening about this low because whenever she's gone low before, she's only had one symptom. This time there were multiple symptoms warning her. I praised her for knowing something didn't feel quite right and coming to test. I'm thankful she's at the age that she can feel them when they do come on. She said that it made her feel sleepy and like she didn't have any energy but it didn't make her grumpy. (LOL...nah the "grumpies" are highs) She went on to tell me that it felt like her brain was thinking but her hands and legs wouldn't do what she was thinking. I'm guessing thats what they mean when they talk about feeling confused? Also, her lowest ever was a 48 and this was a 56 and she said she felt lower than she did when she was 48.

Frustrating!

Pay It Forward

Pay It Forward... what does that phrase mean to you?

If you haven't seen the 2000 movie that is based on a novel by the same name, called "Pay It Forward", then it's a MUST see! My Mom bought this movie a few months ago and while I was helping her clean on Friday, we came across it. I sat there reading the back of the cover and couldn't believe I hadn't see it before. I put it with my things to go home so I could watch it. Because it has been such a rainy weekend, I had some time to catch up on "movie time".

As I watched it, I began to think about how something like this could really change the world. In the movie, a 12yr old little boy is given a Social Studies project. His project is to come up with a plan that will change the world through direct action. He comes up with a plan to "pay it forward" by doing a good deed for three people. The only thing asked in return is for those three people to "pay it forward"...thus becoming a world-wide action. You will have to watch the movie to find out what happens because I hate movie spoilers...LOL! I will tell you to be sure you have tissues!

After the movie was over, I wiped my tears and I really began to think about the whole idea of "paying it forward". There have been so many times in my life where I've helped someone and when they said "What do I owe you?" ...I replied with "Nothing!" I did it...just because. How many times has this happened to you? You do a kind deed for someone less fortunate, just for the sake of doing it...not because you HAD to but because you WANTED to. And then something would happen and you get "paid back"...not the same day....not the next day....but when you least expected it. I always knew when it was my payback and I'd accept it but then I'd turn right around and do something else for someone new.

We have a "Guardian Angel" that is sending us several months worth of pump supplies. This person never once asked for anything in return and never offered to "sell" them to us at a discount. In my mind, this is one of those acts of "paying it forward". My job now is to pay it forward to someone else that may need the help. It would be so nice if the whole world acted on this idea instead of being so selfish. This person could have kept those pump supplies in the closet and let them expire and then thrown them out with the trash but instead they are in the mail to us to put to good use. Think back 30-50+ years ago, when a neighbor helped a neighbor. A community ran smooth with the "little man". Someone baked, someone sewed, someone worked the garden, everyone took care of everyone elses kids, things grown in the garden were shared, animals raised on the farm were shared and it all just worked! It's really sad that our kids won't ever get to experience that.

One thing is for sure... my girls WILL learn to "pay it forward"!

Happy Birthday Hubby!

HaPpY 41st BiRtHdAy
to my dear Husband!
We're glad you had a great day!

Evil Mac!

I've just come to the conclusion that Mac & Cheese is nothing but pure evil!

I gave in and let Kacey have mac & cheese for dinner. She wasn't too hungry and thats what she asked for. I dosed her according to the box.

One hour later...

We're sitting on the floor playing with her pump and reading more in the manual and she says "Mom, I wonder if the glucose machine will talk to the pump with no insulin? Can we try it?" I'm just as curious so I agree to let her do it. She was so excited because with the Cozmo pump, her glucose machine is hooked to the pump (one of the main features I loved from the moment I saw it!)

Finger stick....

Test.... First time testing using her new pump
HOLY HIGH NUMBERS!!! Noway! That CAN'T be right! So since she was bleeding good she ran and got her faithful Freestyle Lite and ....
GEEZEEEEEEE!! Wowwwwwwwww!!! She got 5 units of insulin and was THIS high! Scary!!