Footsies

"You need to make sure you're watching her feet!"
"It's important for you to inspect her feet carefully."
"Make sure you are wearing good shoes because you have to take good care of you feet."

We hear this all the time from people!

WHY is it so important to care for a diabetic's feet?

Proper foot care is very important when you have diabetes. Poor foot care could lead to amputation of a foot or leg. People with diabetes are more vulnerable to foot problems because diabetes can damage the nerves and reduce blood flow to your feet. The American Diabetes Association estimates that one in five people with diabetes seek care for foot problems. By taking proper care of your feet, most serious health problems associated with diabetes can be prevented.

I found this interesting information while surfing the internet about diabetic feet:

Wash and Dry Your Feet Daily

• Use mild soaps
• Use warm water
• Pat your skin dry; do not rub. Thoroughly dry your feet.
• After washing, use lotion on your feet to prevent cracking. Do not put lotion between your toes.

Examine Your Feet Each Day

• Check the tops and bottoms of your feet. Have someone else look at your feet if you cannot see them.
• Check for dry, cracked skin.
• Look for blisters, cuts, scratches, or other sores.
• Check for redness, increased warmth, or tenderness when touching any area of your feet.
• Check for ingrown toenails, corns, and calluses.
• If you get a blister or sore from your shoes, do not "pop" it. Apply a bandage and wear a different pair of shoes.

Take Care of Your Toenails

• Cut toenails after bathing, when they are soft.
• Cut toenails straight across and smooth with a nail file.
• Avoid cutting into the corners of toes.
• Do not cut cuticles.
• You may want a podiatrist (foot doctor) to cut your toenails.

Be Careful When Exercising

• Walk and exercise in comfortable shoes.
• Do not exercise when you have open sores on your feet.

Protect Your Feet With Shoes and Socks

• Never go barefoot. Always protect your feet by wearing shoes or hard-soled slippers or footwear.
• Avoid shoes with high heels and pointed toes.
• Avoid shoes that expose your toes or heels (such as open-toed shoes or sandals). These types of shoes increase your risk for injury and potential infections.
• Try on new footwear with the type of socks you usually wear.
• Do not wear new shoes for more than an hour at a time.
• Change your socks daily.
• Look and feel inside your shoes before putting them on to make sure there are no foreign objects or rough areas.
• Avoid tight socks.
• Wear natural-fiber socks (cotton, wool, or a cotton-wool blend).
• Wear special shoes if your health care provider recommends them.
• Wear shoes/boots that will protect your feet from various weather conditions (cold, moisture, etc.).
• Make sure your shoes fit properly. If you have neuropathy (nerve damage), you may not notice that your shoes are too tight. Perform the "footwear test" described below.

Footwear Test

Use this simple test to see if your shoes fit correctly:

• Stand on a piece of paper. (Make sure you are standing and not sitting, because your foot changes shape when you stand.)
• Trace the outline of your foot.
• Trace the outline of your shoe.
• Compare the tracings: Is the shoe too narrow? Is your foot crammed into the shoe? The shoe should be at least 1/2 inch longer than your longest toe and as wide as your foot.

Proper Shoe Choices

The following types of shoes are best for people with diabetes:

• Closed toes and heels
• Leather uppers without a seam inside
• At least 1/2 inch extra space at the end of your longest toe
• Inside of shoe should be soft with no rough areas
• Outer sole should be made of stiff material
• Shoes should be at least as wide as your feet

Tips for Foot Care in Diabetes

• Don't wait to treat a minor foot problem if you have diabetes. Follow your health care provider's guidelines and first aid guidelines.
• Report foot injuries and infections to your health care provider immediately.
• Check water temperature with your elbow, not your foot.
• Do not use a heating pad on your feet.
• Do not cross your legs.
• Do not self-treat your corns, calluses, or other foot problems. Go to your health care provider or podiatrist to treat these conditions.

When to Talk to Your Doctor About Foot Care

Your health care provider should examine your feet at each visit. In addition, see your health care provider if you have any of the following problems with your feet:

• Athlete's foot (cracking between the toes)
• Sores or wounds on your feet
• Ingrown toenails
• Increasing numbness or pain
• Calluses
• Redness
• Blackening of skin
• Bunions
• Infection
• Hammer toes (when the middle joint of toes is permanently bent downward)

Interesting stuff, huh?

I was also recommended another site to purchase shoes, Dr. Comfort at www.drcomfort.com. I see these shoes can be very pricey but could be covered by insurance. Has anyone heard about this company or bought special "diabetic" shoes before? Is wearing special shoes necessary? Maybe one day we could afford to buy these kinds of shoes but for now we'll just wait!

I've always bought Kacey good sneakers. Most of the time we get the from Reebok (she has a wide foot and wears a ladies size 10) but when we looked into special shoes before I couldn't spend nearly $200 for a pair of shoes. She is very hard on her shoes and so we are buying a new pair every 6 months or so.

How about you all....anything else to add about "Diabetic Footsies"?

Endo Report Card

It's that time again....REPORT CARD TIME! Time to see how good we're doing as a pancreas. Kacey hates this visit because it always falls the week of her birthday and that always means lab work for her. She says, "It's my birthday present from the Diabetes Center!"

We got to see Nurse SJ this time and we LOVE her. We haven't been able to see her the last 2 visits so it was nice to catch up. She was surprised at how tall Kacey had gotten. She's 5'4" and still growing!

I had a chance to talk with SJ about the jump in copay for insulin and test strips. She couldn't believe they went from $60 to $125...EACH! We continued to talk about options and she told me she would like to switch Kacey to Apidra from the Novolog. They've seen some really good results with it and teens especially. She also told me that Apidra was running a special for the rest of 2013 on the insulin...$100 off your copay! So thats nearly FREE for us!! All I had to do was sign up and get the card with the number along with the new prescription. AWESOME!

Kacey's A1c hasn't changed....still 8.6% but she expects there to be a big change next visit. So like I said, this time it meant lab work for Kacey. Unfortunately we got a Lab Lady that was having a rotten day and wasn't friendly at all.

Other than that, Kacey is doing great! She wants her to try and work hard to get that A1c back into the 7's but she said she was confident that switching up the insulin was going to work.

Any Apidra users out there that can offer advice....good or bad?

Low, LOW, LOWWWWWWWWWW!

While we are fighting all of these puberty battles, it's not too often that we have many lows or even lows that last very long. But occassionally, Kacey body goes into "working" mode and it's almost as if she has a complete and functioning pancreas. Diabetes seems to rear it's ugly face most at night. This night that I am speaking of was a typical evening for us. She didn't have any extra activity or over correction of insulin. We came home from church youth group and both girls got cleaned up and got their jammies on. It was about 9:45pm and both of them went on to bed. Kacey checked her blood sugar and she was sitting at a 389 with a headache and feeling pretty crappy. She corrected and I got her some Motrin and off to sleep she went. The house was quiet and I decided to get myself cleaned up and got my jammies on. I settled down in bed watching the news and I don't even remember falling asleep. And what does that mean?!?! That means the 2am alarm never got set!!

I felt like I'd only been asleep for a few minutes when a scream came from the other room. A scream like nothing I've heard before. It was Kacey! I stumbled out of bed, arrived at her doorway still trying to focus and there she was crying hysterically and screaming out that her whole body was numb. She had her meter in her hand but she couldn't function to test her blood sugar. As I scrambled to test her, my eyes tried to focus on the time.... 4:15am! WHAT?!?! It was then that I realized the clock never got set. Panic set in as I tested her... 63.... I pulled out Dexcom as I pushed her to drink TWO full glasses of juice. My eyes welled up as I looked at the screen....

She had been low for over TWO HOURS!!! She layed there with her eyes closed as she waited for her blood sugar to come up. Silent tears rolled down my face as that sinking feeling set in. All the "what if's" started to flood my tired brain. What if she had not of called out to me? I would have continued sleeping and then when my internal clock decided to wake me up then how would I have found her? It scares me and makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it. "Dead In The Bed Syndrome" is one of my biggest fears. I hold my breath every morning at 2am and again at 6am when I wake her for school...so to know that she was low for those two hours and it was MY fault for not setting the alarm...scared me so bad! I felt guilty and beat myself up for a few days. I made sure to set alarms on my iPhone instead that way I know they will always go off and I don't ever have to worry about missing that 2am check. Thank you God for allowing us to have the Dexcom G4 (even though we wish the low alarm was louder like the high alarm). Thank you God for protecting her and giving her just enough strength to call out to me. Thank you God for allowing me to hear her when she did call out.

After her blood sugar came up to a 156, I went back to my room to lay down. I was so scared and couldn't go back to sleep.

We NEED a cure!

School Report & College

Report cards for the first half of the year are in.... ALL A's!!! Yep! Kacey rocked it...but with A LOT of hard work. Those grades don't come easy when you have diabetes and miss 28 days. Frankly, some days just SUCK! On top of the A's, she received an award for Citizenship in Math out of the entire 7th grade classes combined. ***insert proud Mommy moment*** Her teacher gave a speech telling the other students that the person chosen was a kind, outgoing and very hardworking student that deserved the award. Kacey had no idea she was being chosen so she came home with a HUGE confidence boost! To make things a bit more fun, she tried out for Festival Chorus again this year and was chosen along with 39 other students out of the school. Can you say...ALL THINGS MUSIC?!?! So this semester she has Chorus, Music Exploration, Band and every Tues she stays for Festival Chorus. And now she wants to sing with our youth band!! She is so happy when she's singing or playing her sax. Ohhhhh and that brings me to another thing....last Friday she walked out of school with a case the size of a childs coffin! BARITONE SAX!!! Her teacher asked her if she'd like to try it and bought her a mouthpiece and reed for it and sent it home with her for the weekend. SHE IS IN LOVE!!! She likes it better than her Alto Sax and so now she's lugging this "BARI-COFFIN" (as I call it) to school and home every day. I love seeing her so happy! It seems like when she is playing, all the worries of diabetes and crappy days are gone! As a mom, one of the greatest joys is seeing your child so happy. So that's our school update.....onto a tougher subject......

As a parent, your ultimate job is to raise your child to be a strong, functioning and independent adult in society. At least that's what I've been taught! We don't raise our kids to live at home all their lives and mooch off Mommy and Daddy. We want them to grow up. We want them to be responsible. We want the best for them, right? But then there comes a time when you see that happening before your eyes and you shudder for a moment. You cry silently as you see your child growing up and becoming their own person. It happens several times in their life. You celebrate those moments as they grow but then when it comes time to push them to go out on their own, you try and tighten those reigns a little. All of a sudden, you don't want them to grow up so fast. This is the point where I think you can do the ultimate damage. This is the point that either they will fly out on their own or they will be guilted into staying at home because they don't want to leave you. I can speak for myself when I say, I was one that chose to remain at home. When I graduated, my parents had just divorced, my Mom was alone and there was no way I could possibly think about "leaving her". Soon after is when I became pregnant with Kayleigh. It was then that I knew I really wasn't going anywhere and I didn't move out until I met Frankie and we were getting married. Even then, my Mom did what she could to keep me at home. When I moved out, she was devistated! She cried for weeks. She was alone! I felt like I'd hurt her, even though I was 24 years old and it was time for me to "grow up". I swore if I ever had kids, I would NEVER make them feel like that. Well, thats easy to say when you have them. It's easy to say when they are growing up. But depending on the circumstances, it's harder than you may think. Most of you know the turmoil I went through with Kayleigh when she was little. I've always tended to hold her a little closer to my side. She's always tended to stay closer. She never really wanted to venture out of her "comfort zone". So last year when it came time to talk about "going away to school" before graduation, she would cry just thinking about it. She would tell me she didn't want to talk about it. Then she decided that she would go locally to school. She would commute and live at home. Since she was choosing culinary school, they didn't require SAT's or ACT's so her guidance councelor told her to save her money and not take them. Graduation came....and went. Her cake business skyrocketed....and then THE OFFER. She was given the offer of a lifetime....or was it? A very good friend of ours was willing to invest a large sum of money to help her get a bakery going in our local town. He had confidence in her work since he'd tasted it and seen it on her website. He saw the reviews she was getting and he was willing to take the risk and all we had to do was find the location and write the business plan. For an 18 year old, life seemed to be falling into place and her dreams were right before her eyes and being handed to her on a silver platter! Easier said than done! Findind a location was proving to be more difficult than we thought. When we finally thought we found a location, we met with the property managers not once but THREE different times. They were frustrated that we were not jumping to sign a contract so quick and we were frustrated that brick walls were being put in the way. It seemed like every time we broke through a wall, God slammed another one down in front of us. I firmly believe everything happens for a reason and I was beginning to have some doubt. Was this Satan telling me that we couldn't do it or was it God telling me that we needed to take another path? The best thing I could do was pray about it and ask God to show us what path to take? As I prayed, I started to get an unsettling feeling about the location. Maybe that wasn't the right one. Maybe opening the bakery isn't what Kay should be doing. As she pushed forward with the business plan and other legal stuff, more brick walls started to appear and she started to get frustrated. There were things that I just couldn't help her with....business stuff and legal mumbo jumbo that were out of my league. Did we really give thought to running retail? Running it from home was a ballgame but running retail was entirely new game and it was something I really didn't know about. The frustrations grew and as we were driving to meet a client, I turned to Kayleigh in the front seat and said, "What do you want to do with your life?" She looked at me dumbfounded and said, "I want to open the bakery". I then started posing questions like, "Who is going to work if you get sick?", "Who will work if I get sick?", "What happens if diabetes throws a curve ball and I can't come in because I am with your sister?", "Who will run the front while we are in the back?", "What happens if you want a day off or vacation?", "What about your friends and your life?", "What happens in 5 years when you are burnt out and decide you've had enough?".....You've been doing this since you were 13....thats 5 years already! In 5 more years, you will be 10 years into this and what happens when you say you're done with cakes and baking? You have NOTHING to fall back on! Opening a bakery will be like giving birth to a child. It WILL be your life and it WILL consume your life, even if it's closed on Sundays, your entire life will be spent around baking...the same way it's been spent the last 5 years! She's had to plan her life around cakes....her social life and her personal life. The same when you have a child....everything is planned around that baby. I got pregant at 18, gave birth a month after my 19th birthday....I DON'T WANT THAT LIFE FOR HER!!! I don't want her locking herself into something I can see happening. My suggestion...how about college? THE C WORD!!! It was almost as if I'd said the F word. The tears were already rolling and this compiled them and she was sniffling. Her reply, "College isn't for me! College is too big! I don't want to go away!" Excuses! Excuses! She had a meeting with her best friend's mom for her birthday cake so I let her get herself together. When she came in, she knew something was wrong. We talked to her about what we'd just discussed and she told Kay that she had to side with her mom on this one. I was right!

And then....the wheels started to turn!

Maybe college wasn't a bad idea after all? For so many years, Kay has done what she's always dreamed but it wasn't a bad thing to take a break and LIVE LIFE! There is life outside of baking and cakes. There is life outside of our town. There is a life that she hasn't lived the way her friends have because she has been so focused being a "grown up" living at home. As we talked and criend together, I wanted her to know that I was ok with her going away. I wanted the best for her and I wanted her to experience all those things that I couldn't because I was at home with responsibilities of being MOM! I never pawned her off on my Mom as a baby. Even though I lived at home, I went to work daily (and she went with me) and I came home and took care of her. I had NO social life. I spent every moment I could with her and that is EXACTLY what I've done for 18 years now. When she started her business, I was helping her bake. I was mixing icing. I was driving her for deliveries. And it's been that way for 5 years now! We've spent every single moment together and it's time for her to have her space. It's time for her to spread her wings and live life away from me. As much as it kills me and I've cried LOTS of silent tears lately, I don't want her to see it upset me. I have to keep the strong Mommy face because I know the moment she sees me upset, she is going to backslide and get upset and not want to go. Why? For the same reason I felt that way when I was 18....I didn't want to see my Mom upset. I didn't want to make my Mom cry. I didn't want to be a disappointment. I didn't want my Mom to hurt. I am closer to Kayleigh than I ever was with my Mom. We share everything and I know if she sees me cry, then she won't go. Soooooo.....what's happened since that meeting on 1-22-13?

That night, we went home and pulled University of Mary Washington up on the laptop. We clicked onto the Common App and FILLED IT OUT! Within 4 days, she'd written 3 essays. On 1-28-13, she clicked SUBMIT and applied to UMW! We cried, we laughed and we hugged. The application deadline for UMW was 2-1-13. Can you believe it?!?! If she had waited any longer, she would have missed the deadline and would have had to wait until spring to register. And.....those brick walls....well they've all seemed to have fallen into place. If only we'd listened to God and heard what He was trying to tell us. She called her mentor to tell him what was happening and he told her that for a week straight he went to the parking lot of the location we'd picked out and prayed over it. He said there was hardly any foot traffic but he didn't know how to tell her without upsetting her that the location was wrong and not a good one. FUNNY HUH?!?! God's plan....NOT OURS! I laughed and told Kayleigh that this whole time God was behind her making funny faces and sticking his tongue out at her and laughing while she beat her head against those walls. We started a board on Pinterest for Dorm ideas. The more we pinned, the more excited she got! And then on 2-18-13, we made the 2 hour drive to Fredericksburg to take the tour of UMW. That sealed it for her....she's going! We fell in love with the campus. We fell in love with the surrounding area. She WANTS to go! And now here I sit....feeling like that Mom that wants to pull those reigns back in. Some days I cry more than others knowing that she can't just "come home" on the weekends. Oh yeah....and those SAT's she DIDN'T TAKE....she now has to take them on March 9. That is the only thing holding her application up. She will know in April if she gets in and if she doesn't then she will take the SATs again in April and May and register for the spring. She will continue to apply until she gets in!

So there ya have it....the drama of my life for the last month. I've struggled with writing through tears. I couldn't even begin to sit down and talk about her leaving a month ago. I've come to grips with it now and I can talk without busting into tears. It's still hard to watch them flap their wings and soar on their own. I know she will do GREAT! She has a strong Momma to lean on! ;) Heehee! It's going to be rocky....it's going to be hard.....but ultimately it's going to be fun and she will be living the time of her life! Fly baby.....flyyyyyyy!

Feelin' So Fly Like A ....G4

Everytime I say "G4", I sing that song in my head and giggle.

DRAMA. Thats the word that describes the process of getting our new Dexcom G4. It all started with a call from Dexcom.
"Hello, may I speak to the parents of Kacey W?"
"Hi, This is Jill, Kaceys Mom"
"Hi Jill, my name is ???? and I'm from Dexcom and I'd like to go over your benefits with you for the new Dexcom G4 system. It looks like your Dexcom 7 is now out of warranty so if something breaks with it then we cannot replace it and since it's getting to the end of the year, most people like to place their orders for supplies since the deductibles renew."
"Hang on....back up....OUT OF WARRANTY?!?! So if it breaks then we're up a creek?"
"Yes mam! But we can get you a new system sent out once they are released and you could have it in a week or so."
"Wow! Really?!? Let's do it then!"
"Ok, let me get some information from you and we'll verify all your benefits and give you a call back"

So I give him all of my information and wait for the call. Two weeks later....I still haven't heard anything and we're on our LAST Dexcom 7 sensor. So I call Dexcom back to order one box. I knew this would get us through til we got the new system. BUT....it wasn't gonna be that easy!

The rep from Dexcom informed me that I could no longer order supplies directly from them. I had to go through Edgepark. They would forward my information over to them and I would need to call them to order supplies. WHAT?!?! We used to have Edgepark before and then our insurance did away with them and now they're back? WTH?!? So I hung up from them and called Edgepark. The first time I got someone I couldn't understand. Now, I don't have anything against accents but if you're a phone rep then you should be able to speak proper English, right? ***GAH*** So, I hung up and called back. I got a really nice lady the second time. I explained my situation and how we needed sensors ASAP since we hadn't been approved for the G4 yet. She took all my information, placed the order and told me it would be shipped next day and since that was Friday, it would probably be Monday before I got it. Easy enough, NOT! Monday rolls around, no sensors. Tuesday, no sensors. By the following Friday, I'm worrying! We had to pull the sensor Kacey had on and she had to walk in a parade with band the next day. WHAT was going on? I called Edgepark back to see what the problem was. The lady says, "There is no record of an order or it being shipped." HUH?!?!? NO ORDER???? So she reviews the account and says, "Since you're a new customer, it takes a week or two for all the approvals and then we can ship it out." ***insert Momma flipping out*** I was pissed! I knew it wasn't her fault but I was having a hard time processing the fact that we had to go through ANOTHER approval even though we were customers before. INSANE!!! So this now meant, we would not have sensors for one of the biggest days ever. Kacey would have to test her blood sugar before she started marching and then it would be over an hour of marching with no way of telling what her blood sugar was until they got to the end. Best case senario....let her run high and work it down as if she was in gym. So thats what I did.

That still didn't excuse the fact that the rep from Edgepark said it would ship out next day. We got the sensors over a week later later!!! Ugh! I called them back to ask about the Dexcom system. They already had the approval on it and we could move forward. EXCELLENT!! So we did the paperwork, faxed it back and got confirmation that it would be shipped out on Friday of last week. It would be here Monday or Tuesday.

Monday arrived and we waited around all day for it. I didn't have a tracking number so I couldn't see where it was. By 4pm, I called to see if we could get the tracking number for it. The lady couldn't tell me if it was being shipped UPS or FedEx but she had the number. I knew by the type of number that it was FedEx so I tracked it. It was sitting in sorting in Norfolk. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I knew we wouldn't get it that day but we'd definately have it Tuesday by 4:30pm (according to tracking). So we waited around all day Tuesday. At 4:17, it arrived!!!

One word....EXCITED!!
Thats what my house has overflowed with the last two days. Kacey is IN LOVE!! I took several pictures. But for some reason it's not letting me share them today so I will post them later.

Now...for myine & Kacey's first impression....

Opening the box:
Me: The first thing I notice is it's looks so much like an iPod Nano. It's MUCH smaller that the Dexcom 7. I pull it out and hold the precious little device in my hand and smile down as if I'm holding a million bucks. Yes, for those parents of kids with Type 1, you completely understand how valuable this little thing is!
Kacey: I love it! I love it! I love it! Mom! It's pink! It's smaller! I'm soooooo excited! Can I hold it? Can I turn it on? I want to press the buttons!

Turning it on:
Me: Since it was in her hands, I let her turn it on and press the buttons. I watched her navigate through it like a pro. It was pretty much the same as the Dexcom 7 sysytem except the beautiful color screen that pops up.
Kacey: Oh Mom! This is SOOOOOOOOOOO cool! It's so pretty! I love the screen! It's just like my other one. What does this button do? New alerts! MOMMMMM....IT SINGS!!!! I want THAT setting!!!

Sensor & Insertion:
Me: The insertion for the G4 is the same as the Dexcom 7 system. We're pro's with that and so I was happy to see it was still the same. The one thing I immediately took notice of was the size of the transmitter. It's a little larger than the Dexcom 7. I kinda frowned when I held it in my hand but I guess you have to take more GOOD with it than BAD.
Kacey: Mom, this transmitter is bigger. It looks like.....like a BUG! So thats what it was immediately named "Bug". We inserted the site and hooked up "Bug". It stuck off, more than the Dexcom 7 did. She frowned and grumbled. I wanted to grumble with her but instead I made a joke and said, "Let me see your wittle baby bug" ***said in a baby voice*** She laughed and we moved on! Excitement turned back to the receiver.

Start Up:
Me: The whole start up process from beginning to end might have taken 20-30 minutes. It was as simple as turning it on and the process was basically the same as Dexcom 7.
Kacey: Mom, I love this so much better! I love Daisy Dexcom but THIS is so much nicer! It's smaller and it's PINK!!!

Day 2:
Me: Once the sensor finally went through the 2 hour process to start up, Kacey had to calibrate it with a finger stick. Her meter read 108 and G4 said 103. Not bad....not bad at all! :)
Kacey: Mom! I love this color screen! I love how small it is! Did I mention I love PINK?!?! I'm so happy! Thank you Mommy for all the troubloe you went through to get it for me! Thank you, thank you, thank you for spending this much money righht after Christmas! I love you Mom!!!! Oh yeah, guess what? Dexcom sang to me in the middle of class today ***giggles*** Mrs. J didn't know what it was and I laughed and said "It's just me!" and she laughed too. I love those singing alerts. If I'm high then it sings highhhhh and if I'm low then it sings lowwwwww.  (listening to her tell this made me laugh) Oh and the vibrate is MUCH better! And, and , and (she was so excited and out of breath) it was sooooooooooooo accurate Mom!

***sigh*** And that my friends makes it ALL worth it! :) All the trouble, all the tears, all the worry, all the running around....EVERY SINGLE BIT was worth it. Yes, she HAS to be connected to an insulin pump. No, she doesn't HAVE to be connected to Dexcom.....BUT it gives us peace of mind and it's worth every stinking penny! So there ya have it...reviews from the Mom of a Type 1 and a 12 Year old Type 1.

I'm sure there will be more reviews, trials and excitement as we move forward with this journey.

Dexcom 7, we love you and we're glad you gave us GREAT times but we're lovingly retiring you with Goober (her old Cozmo pump).

With love,

Santa, Are You For Real?

Christmas was a bit different this year. We lost a little bit of the "magic" and a huge chunk of reality set in for me.

On 12-5-2004, Kayleigh (who was only 10 years old at the time) came to me with a question. "Mommy, is Santa for real?" It was something that deep down I knew I would have to tell her but I wanted to hold onto every bit of innocent that she was. I knew I had to tell her the truth so I went to the book shelf and pulled down a book that I'd been harboring on the top shelf, completely out of sight of any little eyes. It was called "Santa, Are You For Real?" by Harold Myra. As I sat down on the couch with her, I told her I had a book to share with her. She was old enough to read it to me so we sat there together and with my arm around her and her snuggled up to me, she read out loud.

The story is about a little boy who questions if Santa is real. His friends told him Santa wasn't real and through colorful pictures it tells the TRUE story of Saint Nicholas. She learned he WAS real, he DID give gifts and WHY he gave the gifts. It also explains keeping Christ the center of Christmas and how we can keep the magic alive in our hearts.

After we read it, she cried but she was relieved to know the truth. From Christmas 2004 til Christmas 2012, Kayleigh has played "Santa" for Kacey. She goes shopping with me each year and we carefully choose things off the long Christmas list. The one thing I've made completely sure of for the last 8 years is that we still keep that same magic alive for her. She still gets surprises from "Santa" and it's still a magical time since Kacey was still insisting there was a Santa.

Yes my friends.....at 12 years old, she STILL believed in her heart that there was a Santa. Now, don't think for a moment that I haven't wanted to tell her the truth and share the same book with her. In fact, I wanted to do that in 2010 when she was 10 years old, the same age Kayleigh was when we told her....BUT....as she looked at us with true innocent eyes, I couldn't bear to break her heart....especially when I saw her light up when she saw "Santa" knew her name when we met face to face with him walking in Walmart. How could I take that magic away? ***sigh*** She is now a 7th grader, will be turning 13 in March and it was time! On 11-21-2012, I had asked her if she was ready for Christmas? The twinkle in her eyes made my heart smile as she talked about things she was putting on her list. I asked her if her friends had said anything about "Santa" and she proudly proclaimed that they had talked about it and they told her Santa wasn't real but she told them that they'd never met the REAL Santa and she had! ***gulp!*** She smiled and continued on about how she knew Santa was real and didn't care what her friends thought. Ohhhhh geesh! ***Please God give me the strength to make it though this conversation.*** I knew the right thing to do was tell her because as Christmas got closer I didn't want her trying to defend the fact that he was real or not and then be teased by friends. Let's face it....Kids in middle school are CRUEL! The weeks leading up to this, we'd joked about different things she had asked for on her list and every time she asked for something I would say "You better ask Santa!" So when she asked for an iPod Touch, it was no different. I told her to "Tell Santa!" and winked at her. A few minutes later, I got a text to my iPhone saying "I would like an iPod Touch for Christmas." I laughed and figured that was her way of saying "I'm telling Santa now!". So I got up and pulled the book back down off the shelf. I asked her if she felt like reading a story with me. I had this lump in my throat and choked back tears. WHY was I so sad? WHY did I feel like Niagra Falls was about to come out of my eye balls? I sat down on the couch with her and showed her the cover of the book. She smiled and I asked her if she would read it to me. She started to read and the more into the book she got, I started to tear up but held them back and composed myself. When she got to the end, there is a part that says "As the family sat around and talked half the night, Todd thought he saw, in the snow and moonlight...a bright eyed Saint Nicholas with his sack looking in, and a wide across his face, a jolly old grin." She closed the book, turned to me and said "See! I told you he was REAL!" I nodded and then quickly realized that she REALLY believed he was STILL a real person. HOW was I going to break this to her? I flipped back in the book to the page that talked about Saint Nick living hundreds of years ago. I had her read it out loud to me again and then.....the puzzled look....the tears....and then full blown crying! It was done....she knew. She sat there for about 15 minutes crying uncontrollably. I hugged her and she wiped her tears. I kept asking her WHY she was crying to hard? WHY are you so sad? She would try and answer and just start crying so hard that she couldn't talk. I sat there with tears rolling down my face. Did I make the right decision? Of course I did! She can't be a teenager and still believe in Santa! Thats ridiculous! But WHY was I crying too? I knew I'd hurt her. I knew at that point that she still really believed. I thought she might have known when she texted me so thats why I figured it was time too. So there we sat, for ONE FULL HOUR, crying together. As it set in, she finally got to the point that she could talk again. She then said, "I wish you would have told me sooner. Thats why I'm so sad. I really thought he was real!" We talked some more about how he was a real man, how he gave gifts to make people around him happy and how we continue the magic for those around us. In our hearts, we're ALL a Santa. We talked some about Jesus and his birth and the three wise men bringing gifts. Once she came to terms with it, we talked about how all the magic wasn't lost. For the last 8 years, Kayleigh has been "Santa" for her and now it's her turn to be "Santa" for Kayleigh and others around her. She smiled and got a little excited about having some shopping time without her sister. BUT.....WHY was I still sad? I had this overwhelming feeling of reality setting in. My babies were not babies anymore. They both knew the truth about Santa and there would be no more "magic" in our house until grandbabies. Thats a very hard pill to swallow! No more babies....no more Santa...I had to find a way to keep this spirit alive in our house.

This year, we continued Christmas as usual. Kayleigh bought for Kacey....Kacey bought for Kayleigh....We bought some goodies for them both...but on Christmas Day, we decided that next year we'd start a new tradition. They're both old enough to understand the REAL meaning of Christmas and with the cost of things going up, we thought next year we'd do something a little different. We focused on the Bible and the Three Wise Men. They came bearing gifts for Jesus but they didn't come with a large sack full of more toys than you could possibly play with. They came with THREE gifts. So next year, we're going to do "stocking stuffers from Santa" and each person would get THREE gifts. One from each member of their family. So for instance, I would get one gift from Frankie, one gift from Kayleigh and one gift from Kacey. Thought needs to go into these gifts, just as thought went into the gifts the Three Wise Men brought. They didn't just bring Jesus dirt, rocks and sticks. They brought him nice gifts with meaning. And then, each of us would be responsible for doing THREE Acts of Kindness for someone else. Thought has to go into these acts and they must be of equal value that you spend on your family member. Everyone was so excited about this new tradition and we have an entire year to think about what our acts of kindness will be. Also, we're going to do the 12 Days of Kindness leading up to Christmas. Each of the 12 days will be a $5 or less act of kindness and that will serve as our countdown. Although....I'm thinking it might be fun to share some "magic" for 25 days instead of 12! So we might just extend it and that will be my entire blog for December. And then....we took it a step further and decided that we just might do this for Easter as well! We acknowledge the Birth of Jesus so why not acknowledge His Death on the Cross for us?

And there you have it.....our feel good magic of Christmas was back! And what did we learn? YES Santa WAS real! NO we don't need all those presents to make us happy! YES it feels good to make others happy BEFORE ourselves! YES we WILL put Jesus FIRST and we will tell the world of His Birth, His Death and His Love & Forgiveness! So be watching for our 'Acts of Kindness' for Easter.

All my love,

JOY

JOY:

Noun

A feeling of great pleasure and happiness.     Our youth pastor preached a sermon a few weeks ago that really struck something with me. The word JOY and what it stands for. Not the feeling of JOY but the real meaning of JOY.   Experiencing true JOY is putting Jesus first....Others second....and Yourself last. JESUS FIRST That is pretty self explanitory. You should have Jesus first in everything you do. When you have Jesus at the center of your life then things start to fall into place but the moment you waiver from that then your life seems to be a disoriented mess. Maybe thats why this struck something with me. Lately I'd been living my life as OYJ....Others, Yourself, Jesus. I was doing for everyone else, then myself and then what time was left I gave to Jesus. Wrong....all wrong! I had to get back to JOY and things would start to come together again. OTHERS SECOND I'm a people pleaser, always have been and always will be. I like for those around me to be happy and I will do what I can to make the people closest to me smile. I've never had a problem putting Others before myself but I needed to put Jesus ahead of all of that! YOURSELF LAST I was putting myself before Jesus. Wrong again! I put others before myself so why wouldnt I put Jesus before them? After all, He is the reason I am forgiven. He is the reason that I can live my life. He is above all....FIRST! Thats where He needs to stay. My needs will come LAST in everything I do. Once you put Jesus FIRST and Others SECOND....then your needs and wants WILL be fulfilled even though YOU are LAST :) So today....I choose JOY.....How about you?

Happy New Year

New Years bring Resolutions....something I've never been able to stick to. I guess when I say it to myself, my mindset makes it a "chore"...something I'm required to stick to. Then I find myself stressing over the whole thing when I fail. So this year, I am NOT making any resolutions...heehee! I'm going to pray about things and deal with the life God is giving me.

Life....it seems so busy these days and when my head finally hits the pillow at 11pm, I feel like there is a tornado in my brain some days. I find myself not being able to shut things off and relax. So much to do, so many things going on and just not enough hours in the day. I used to have such a clear head....WHY can't I focus anymore? Ummmmm....maybe it's because I stopped putting my feelings here. I stopped getting all the rubbish out of my head and kept it all inside. So yeah, it's time for a change. I've said it over and over and where do I end up? I guess part of it is still the fact that I had so much drama on my page from family and coworkers reading it. I bottled up and felt like I couldn't share here anymore because they were all reading my thoughts. Then once I was threatened with my job as a school employee, it made me clam up even more. I'm no longer a school employee. I chose to close that chapter and choose my life over that job. I'm not sure who from my family still comes here to read but I'm sure they've lost interest by now since it's been 2 years since we've spoken to them.

So for 2013, I'm turning a new leaf :)

It's time to jump back in with both feet. Diabetes was pushed to the back burner and we've not made it the first thing we think about anymore. It's something we live with but it doesn't control our family like it once did. Maybe thats another reason I had a hard time writing. I just didn't have anything to say. The posts seemed to repeat....high sugars, low sugars, A1c's, pictures of pumps and dexcom, sickness, symptoms, JDRF....ahhhhhhh!

My goal for 2013 is to find some new topics dealing with diabetes to blog about along with a mix of old ones and things non-diabetes related. So be prepared! :)

I hope each of you has a VERY Happy New Year full of joy!

Lots of Love,