The excitement is building as we countdown the days til Kacey's big Endo appointment. I'm starting to feel a bit nervous as well. This will be the first time her A1c was checked since she was diagnosed. Her 6 month "Diavershry" (as she calls it) will be on the 15th and her appointment is scheduled for the 22nd. I have a lit of questions to ask and most of them are just minor things. But two major ones stick out on the page like big black letters. The questions are:
When do we start pump classes?
Which pump do you reccommend, Cozmo or MiniMed?
I know the answers to both will come. When we go to the pump classes they will let us touch and play with each pump. Kacey will actually get to hold it in her hands and see what it looks like. Thats something she hasnt done yet! I've read everything I can get my hands on about each pump and I still bounce back and forth as to which one I really like for Kacey. Both of them have great features but I keep leaning toward the Cozmo because I like the custom settings, waterproof, her meter will always be with her and several other things.
So I'm asking.... those of you on pumps or have children on pumps....
Which would you choose and why? Do you regret choosing the pump you did?
I know each person is different (I feel like I've said that alot lately!) but I want everyones feedback because there may be one thing that really sways me. Feedback from people actually having to wear and use the pump is much better than a doctor or pump rep trying to tell you which one is best for your child. Thanks again!!!
Countdown...19 days
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
Difference In Reactions
Something was said to me in an email yesterday in reference to how I handled myself with Kacey's diagnosis. I realize every person reacts to situations differently and thats what makes us all so unique. This gave me a chance to surf back through my blog and see just how far I'd come. I went from feeling very scared and alone, to feeling very frustrated and now being comfortable caring for Kacey and knowing I'm doing everything I can to give her a long and healthy life.
I remember when I was sitting in the ICU at the Children's Hospital and everyone was asleep despite the screaming baby next door. I sat there with my face in my hands and I sobbed. I sobbed because I was scared my child was going to die. I sobbed because I didn't know anyone else with Type 1. I sobbed because I was deathly afraid of needles from a bad experience I had as a child. All these mixed emotions swirled inside me. Slowly the curtain was pulled back to Kacey's room, and it was Kacey's ICU nurse. She was one of the nicest nurses I'd ever met and she walked over to me and put her hand on my shoulder and in a stern voice she said "Mrs. West, you HAVE to pull yourself together for Kacey's sake. I know this is a difficult time for you and we are here to answer any questions or concerns you have. I also want to explain something to you. She slowly pulled up a chair and sat down. She held both of my hands in her and as I looked at her through my tears she said, "You are going to go through something similar to the grieving process. You're going to cry, you're going to be in denial, you're going to get angry and frustrated and then acceptance will come. Once acceptance comes then you know you're finally in control of things." I wiped my eyes with the tissue she handed me and thanked her. As she hugged me she reminded me that she was there for any questions...no matter how silly they may be. I remember reading the clock... 4:42am ...I'd been awake almost 24 hours!
Well, Guess what? I went through that exact process, and so did Kacey!
When I was reading online I ran across this article from Behavioral Diabetes Institute. It's called "The Emotional Side of Diabetes- 10 Things You Need To Know"
Here is a bit from it...
Living well with diabetes takes emotional strength. Why? Because this is a tough disease. Diabetes is more than just a simple matter of eating right and taking your medications. Staying strong emotionally is the key to keeping stress and your blood glucose levels where they belong. Unfortunately, people with diabetes as well as doctors often neglect these “real life” aspects of the disease.
1. Harnessing Your Fears
With good care, you can live a long, healthy life with diabetes. Many people think they are doomed to suffer terrible complications, but this is simply not true! Diabetes is a serious disease and some people do develop severe long-term complications, but most of these problems are preventable if you have good medical care and take good care of yourself. Feeling a little frightened is not necessarily a bad thing, but when your fears get so big that you feel helpless and hopeless, it’s time to take action. You need to harness fear to help you manage diabetes.
2. Overcoming Depression
Depression is a serious problem, and it can be even more serious when you have diabetes. People with diabetes are almost twice as likely to develop depression as other people. If you are depressed, diabetes can become a lot harder to handle and your blood sugars are likely to rise. When your diabetes is out of control, this can make it even harder to escape depression. It becomes a vicious circle. The good news is that there are effective treatments that can help you recover your emotional health. These treatments can also help you improve your blood sugars and feel more in control of diabetes.
3. Defeating Denial
Denial can be a valuable tool. It can be a good way to cope with negative feelings about diabetes, especially when you are first diagnosed or when the disease is feeling out of control. But denial becomes a problem when it is your only way of coping. Instead of a temporary tool, it becomes a permanent way of life. The response to all diabetes aggravations becomes “I will not think about diabetes anymore.” This means trouble. When you turn your back on diabetes, your long-term health will be endangered.
4. Giving Up The Guilt
You are not a bad person because you developed diabetes. It is not your fault. You are not “bad” because you didn’t exercise today or because you ate more than you intended last night. Nobody can manage diabetes perfectly. Guilt is common when you are living with diabetes, and it is hardly ever useful. Because of guilt, people often establish tough, sometimes impossible rules about how to manage diabetes (“I must NEVER eat even a bite of junk food ever again”). Since you can never be perfect, rules like these can make you feel like you are failing and can promote depression. Enough already!
5. Appreciating The Power of Pals
Diabetes is easier to manage when you have people in your life who are rooting for you. When you feel alone with diabetes, it is harder to handle. Imagine the meaningful ways that loved ones could support you or help you feel less alone: for example, when family members join you in having healthier meals each night, when a good friend shares your anger or disappointment with a high blood sugar reading, when your spouse offers to help you with your next insulin injection, or when your neighbor agrees to join you for a brisk walk each morning. Just having someone in your life who cares can go a long way. (Thanks Diabetes OC!)
6. Arrest The Diabetes Police
Friends and family may sometimes think it is their right to help you manage your diabetes, whether you like it or not. Sometimes too much “support”, especially if you didn’t ask for it, can feel like nagging. When friends and family are bugging you about what to eat or what to do, you may tend to do the opposite of what has been suggested. “Don’t think I should eat that piece of cake? OK, then I’ll have two pieces!” Though they mean well, they have become the Diabetes Police, and you’ve become a Diabetes Criminal.
7. From Discouraged to Encouraged
Don’t let diabetes get you down. Diabetes can be a lot of work and sometimes even your best efforts don’t seem to pay off—like when you follow your doctor’s recommendations exactly, but still your blood sugars are elevated! That is understandably frustrating. But it is not your fault. There are ways to make diabetes care encouraging rather than discouraging.
8. Keeping Diabetes In Its Place
Diabetes is an important part of your life, but it doesn’t have to run your life. For many people, diabetes seems like a prison cell— no more enjoyable foods, no spontaneity, no fun, and constant attention to the clock. Some get so angry they decide to ignore diabetes altogether. If you find yourself thinking this way, it is time for an attitude change. Diabetes care in the 21st century means almost everyone can live their lives fully and take care of their diabetes successfully. Sure, some compromises will be necessary, but diabetes shouldn’t be allowed to box you in.
9. Taking Control of Your Environment
Your environment, whether you notice it or not, influences your ability to manage diabetes. Having willpower isn’t enough. You need to harness the power of your environment to support, rather than hinder, your diabetes care. Think about it: how well you eat is affected by the number of tempting foods in your house and the size of the portions on your plate. How faithfully you take your medications is influenced by how many you have and whether you keep them in a convenient, easy-to remember spot each day.
10. Taking A Diabetes Vacation
You need a vacation. Diabetes can be a lot of work, and it demands your attention every day. It is worth the effort, but it is a tough job. All that effort can wear you down, especially if you never get a break. And you can never take a break from diabetes… or can you? In reality, everyone takes “vacations” from their diabetes. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. A break from diabetes can be a big relief. But make sure your diabetes vacations are safe. And, like any good vacation, this takes some planning.
There is much more to each number in the article but those are the brief summeries on each page. I was able to relate to every single one of them! I feel like a much stronger parent and I feel I can stand strong in my diabetes debate when needed. I do respect the way different people react to different situations and I would never push them to react the way I did to Kacey's diagnosis. That being said, I'm sure many parents DO react the way I did (and some much worse). I didn't sink too deep into the depression and I was quick to pull myself up with the help of many amazing Diabetes OC'ers. They have been here to respond to my posts and answer my questions. I may not have met them in real life, but I have a lifetime bond with many of them and they know who they are because they're the ones that are here regularly reading and helping me along the way.
I remember when I was sitting in the ICU at the Children's Hospital and everyone was asleep despite the screaming baby next door. I sat there with my face in my hands and I sobbed. I sobbed because I was scared my child was going to die. I sobbed because I didn't know anyone else with Type 1. I sobbed because I was deathly afraid of needles from a bad experience I had as a child. All these mixed emotions swirled inside me. Slowly the curtain was pulled back to Kacey's room, and it was Kacey's ICU nurse. She was one of the nicest nurses I'd ever met and she walked over to me and put her hand on my shoulder and in a stern voice she said "Mrs. West, you HAVE to pull yourself together for Kacey's sake. I know this is a difficult time for you and we are here to answer any questions or concerns you have. I also want to explain something to you. She slowly pulled up a chair and sat down. She held both of my hands in her and as I looked at her through my tears she said, "You are going to go through something similar to the grieving process. You're going to cry, you're going to be in denial, you're going to get angry and frustrated and then acceptance will come. Once acceptance comes then you know you're finally in control of things." I wiped my eyes with the tissue she handed me and thanked her. As she hugged me she reminded me that she was there for any questions...no matter how silly they may be. I remember reading the clock... 4:42am ...I'd been awake almost 24 hours!
Well, Guess what? I went through that exact process, and so did Kacey!
When I was reading online I ran across this article from Behavioral Diabetes Institute. It's called "The Emotional Side of Diabetes- 10 Things You Need To Know"
Here is a bit from it...
Living well with diabetes takes emotional strength. Why? Because this is a tough disease. Diabetes is more than just a simple matter of eating right and taking your medications. Staying strong emotionally is the key to keeping stress and your blood glucose levels where they belong. Unfortunately, people with diabetes as well as doctors often neglect these “real life” aspects of the disease.
1. Harnessing Your Fears
With good care, you can live a long, healthy life with diabetes. Many people think they are doomed to suffer terrible complications, but this is simply not true! Diabetes is a serious disease and some people do develop severe long-term complications, but most of these problems are preventable if you have good medical care and take good care of yourself. Feeling a little frightened is not necessarily a bad thing, but when your fears get so big that you feel helpless and hopeless, it’s time to take action. You need to harness fear to help you manage diabetes.
2. Overcoming Depression
Depression is a serious problem, and it can be even more serious when you have diabetes. People with diabetes are almost twice as likely to develop depression as other people. If you are depressed, diabetes can become a lot harder to handle and your blood sugars are likely to rise. When your diabetes is out of control, this can make it even harder to escape depression. It becomes a vicious circle. The good news is that there are effective treatments that can help you recover your emotional health. These treatments can also help you improve your blood sugars and feel more in control of diabetes.
3. Defeating Denial
Denial can be a valuable tool. It can be a good way to cope with negative feelings about diabetes, especially when you are first diagnosed or when the disease is feeling out of control. But denial becomes a problem when it is your only way of coping. Instead of a temporary tool, it becomes a permanent way of life. The response to all diabetes aggravations becomes “I will not think about diabetes anymore.” This means trouble. When you turn your back on diabetes, your long-term health will be endangered.
4. Giving Up The Guilt
You are not a bad person because you developed diabetes. It is not your fault. You are not “bad” because you didn’t exercise today or because you ate more than you intended last night. Nobody can manage diabetes perfectly. Guilt is common when you are living with diabetes, and it is hardly ever useful. Because of guilt, people often establish tough, sometimes impossible rules about how to manage diabetes (“I must NEVER eat even a bite of junk food ever again”). Since you can never be perfect, rules like these can make you feel like you are failing and can promote depression. Enough already!
5. Appreciating The Power of Pals
Diabetes is easier to manage when you have people in your life who are rooting for you. When you feel alone with diabetes, it is harder to handle. Imagine the meaningful ways that loved ones could support you or help you feel less alone: for example, when family members join you in having healthier meals each night, when a good friend shares your anger or disappointment with a high blood sugar reading, when your spouse offers to help you with your next insulin injection, or when your neighbor agrees to join you for a brisk walk each morning. Just having someone in your life who cares can go a long way. (Thanks Diabetes OC!)
6. Arrest The Diabetes Police
Friends and family may sometimes think it is their right to help you manage your diabetes, whether you like it or not. Sometimes too much “support”, especially if you didn’t ask for it, can feel like nagging. When friends and family are bugging you about what to eat or what to do, you may tend to do the opposite of what has been suggested. “Don’t think I should eat that piece of cake? OK, then I’ll have two pieces!” Though they mean well, they have become the Diabetes Police, and you’ve become a Diabetes Criminal.
7. From Discouraged to Encouraged
Don’t let diabetes get you down. Diabetes can be a lot of work and sometimes even your best efforts don’t seem to pay off—like when you follow your doctor’s recommendations exactly, but still your blood sugars are elevated! That is understandably frustrating. But it is not your fault. There are ways to make diabetes care encouraging rather than discouraging.
8. Keeping Diabetes In Its Place
Diabetes is an important part of your life, but it doesn’t have to run your life. For many people, diabetes seems like a prison cell— no more enjoyable foods, no spontaneity, no fun, and constant attention to the clock. Some get so angry they decide to ignore diabetes altogether. If you find yourself thinking this way, it is time for an attitude change. Diabetes care in the 21st century means almost everyone can live their lives fully and take care of their diabetes successfully. Sure, some compromises will be necessary, but diabetes shouldn’t be allowed to box you in.
9. Taking Control of Your Environment
Your environment, whether you notice it or not, influences your ability to manage diabetes. Having willpower isn’t enough. You need to harness the power of your environment to support, rather than hinder, your diabetes care. Think about it: how well you eat is affected by the number of tempting foods in your house and the size of the portions on your plate. How faithfully you take your medications is influenced by how many you have and whether you keep them in a convenient, easy-to remember spot each day.
10. Taking A Diabetes Vacation
You need a vacation. Diabetes can be a lot of work, and it demands your attention every day. It is worth the effort, but it is a tough job. All that effort can wear you down, especially if you never get a break. And you can never take a break from diabetes… or can you? In reality, everyone takes “vacations” from their diabetes. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. A break from diabetes can be a big relief. But make sure your diabetes vacations are safe. And, like any good vacation, this takes some planning.
There is much more to each number in the article but those are the brief summeries on each page. I was able to relate to every single one of them! I feel like a much stronger parent and I feel I can stand strong in my diabetes debate when needed. I do respect the way different people react to different situations and I would never push them to react the way I did to Kacey's diagnosis. That being said, I'm sure many parents DO react the way I did (and some much worse). I didn't sink too deep into the depression and I was quick to pull myself up with the help of many amazing Diabetes OC'ers. They have been here to respond to my posts and answer my questions. I may not have met them in real life, but I have a lifetime bond with many of them and they know who they are because they're the ones that are here regularly reading and helping me along the way.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Hospital Poll?
Curiosity is getting the best of me and I feel like maybe I should take a POLL.
When Kacey was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes we went straight from the doctors office where she tested at a 385 with large ketones and was ketoacidosis....to the Emergency Room where we stayed for 4 hours while tests were run to confirm the diagnosis. After the confirmation, we were admitted to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit where we stayed for 3 days (we were scheduled for 4 but we were let go a day early) I was under the assumption that when diagnosed you spent a few days in the hospital while your doctor stabilized the blood sugars and got you started on insulin and were taught the "Diabetes Crash Course". So this brings me to my question....
When YOU or YOUR CHILD was first diagnosed with Type 1, how long was your hospital stay? What year were you diagnosed?
Thank you all!
When Kacey was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes we went straight from the doctors office where she tested at a 385 with large ketones and was ketoacidosis....to the Emergency Room where we stayed for 4 hours while tests were run to confirm the diagnosis. After the confirmation, we were admitted to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit where we stayed for 3 days (we were scheduled for 4 but we were let go a day early) I was under the assumption that when diagnosed you spent a few days in the hospital while your doctor stabilized the blood sugars and got you started on insulin and were taught the "Diabetes Crash Course". So this brings me to my question....
When YOU or YOUR CHILD was first diagnosed with Type 1, how long was your hospital stay? What year were you diagnosed?
Thank you all!
Diabetes Etiquette & Rant (Watch out!)
We're only 5 1/2 months into Kacey's diagnosis and I've not really had too many confrontations about her diabetes with anyone. I try my best to educate those around me that are ignorant to Type 1 and how it differs tremendously from Type 2. I try my best to keep my cool while inside I'm ready to explode because some people just don't understand how difficult some days can be. Diabetes doesn't give you a break. It's always there. It never takes a vacation. I never get to just relax (even though I really try to) I still constantly worry. As a Mommy, thats my job! I do my worrying without many seeing it. I never let Kacey know that it frustrates me when we can't get the numbers in control. I never let her see me silently cry and wish this disease would go away. When I hear people say thing like, "Well it could be worse! She could have cancer or something worse.", I wanna scream at them! Some people don't think diabetes is a big deal....IT IS! No she's not dying and she doesn't "look" sick...but if I wasn't the type of Mommy to stay in control of her diabetes then she WOULD be dying and she WOULD look sick! Without her insulin, she'd die in a few days! That's one freaking scary thought if you ask me! It just makes me so mad that people could compare this disease to diseases they think are "much worse" when in fact this D-Monster is a horrible disease that will NEVER go away! So yes...its just as worse as something like cancer!
Which brings me to my Diabetes Etiquette. I've seen this posted on several blogs that I keep up with and I figure since it directly affects what I'm feeling right now then it was my turn to post it! My job as Kacey's Mommy is to educate those around me that are ignorant to diabetes and to the "myths" about this disease. People don't understand the effort it takes to keep your child's blood sugars stable, the frustration you feel when you don't get the numbers you hope for and the emotion it takes on your entire being.
Number 1: DON'T offer unsolicited advice about my eating or otheraspects of diabetes.You may mean well, but giving advice about someone’s personal habits, especially when it is not requested, isn’t very nice. Besides, many of the popularly held beliefs about diabetes (“you should just stop eating sugar”) are out of date or just plain wrong.
Number 2: DO realize and appreciate that diabetes is hard work. Diabetes management is a full-time job that I didn’t apply for, didn’t want and can’t quit. It involves thinking about what, when, and how much I eat, while also factoring in exercise,medication, stress, blood sugar monitoring, and so much more – each and every day.
Number 3: DON’T tell me horror stories about your grandmother orother people with diabetes you have heard about. Diabetes is scary enough and stories like these are not reassuring! Besides, we now know that with good management, odds are good you can live a long, healthy, and happy life with diabetes.
Number 4: DO offer to join me in making healthy lifestyle changes. Not having to be alone with efforts to change, like starting an exercise program, is one of the most powerful ways that you canbe helpful. After all, healthy lifestyle changes can benefit everyone!
Number 5: DON’T look so horrified when I check my blood sugars or give myself an injection. It is not a lot of fun for me either. Checking blood sugars and taking medications are things I must do to manage diabetes well. If I have to hide while I do so, it makes it much harder for me!
Number 6: DO ask how you might be helpful. If you want to be supportive, there may be lots of little things I would probablyappreciate your help with. However, what I really need may be very different than what you think I need, so please ask first.
Number 7: DON’T offer thoughtless 10 reassurances. When you first learn about my diabetes, you may want to reassure me by saying things like, “Hey it could be worse; you could have cancer!” This won’t make me feel better. And the implicit message seems to be that diabetes is no big deal. However, diabetes (like cancer) IS a big deal.
Number 8: DO be supportive of my efforts for self-care. Help me set up an environment for success by supporting healthy food choices. Please honor my decision to decline a particular food, even when you really want me to try it. You are most helpful when you are not being a source of unnecessary temptation.
Number 9: DON’T peek at or comment on my blood glucose numbers without asking me first. These numbers are private unless I chooseto share them. It is normal to have numbers that are sometimes too low or too high. Your unsolicited comments about these numbers can add to the disappointment, frustration and anger I already feel.
Number 10: DO offer your love and encouragement. As I work hard to manage diabetes successfully, sometimes just knowing that you care can be very helpful and motivating.
Behavioral Diabetes Institute
Ok...I don't intend for this to be hurtful to anyone but as a parent you must know that we become "protectors" of our children. We work very hard to manage this disease and we don't need someone downgrading it by saying "It could be worse...she could have cancer." You're right...it could of been cancer...but this IS something just as bad...it's a progressive disease like cancer and it's certainly just as life threatening! Every single day I wake up and pray to God before I get out of bed that he watched over my baby and didn't take her from me. As I tiptoe to Kacey's room and place my hand on her chest to make sure she's breathing, I check her blood sugar while she's still sleeping peacefully and I pray for a "safe" number to show on that screen. It IS a scary disease and because I can't feel what her body is feeling that makes it even scarier!
**edit**
Furthermore, I was told today by a blogging mother ..." But many of our kids who have Down syndrome, deal with much more serious life threatening issues than diabetes, and there is not always a remedy such as insulin."
Well in response to that....cancer could be managed with taking the mass out and doing chemo/radiation and the person can be cancer-free... there are other serious life threatening illnesses that can be cured...but....
Until a CURE is found my child will NEVER be diabetes-free!!!!!!!!!
OK...I think I've said enough...probably too much...but after all, this is MY blog...MY place to vent my feelings...and I'm VERY thankful to have the support of every Type 1 and Parent of a Type 1 out there because they KNOW this exact pain and frustration I'm feeling! I love you all :)
Which brings me to my Diabetes Etiquette. I've seen this posted on several blogs that I keep up with and I figure since it directly affects what I'm feeling right now then it was my turn to post it! My job as Kacey's Mommy is to educate those around me that are ignorant to diabetes and to the "myths" about this disease. People don't understand the effort it takes to keep your child's blood sugars stable, the frustration you feel when you don't get the numbers you hope for and the emotion it takes on your entire being.
Number 1: DON'T offer unsolicited advice about my eating or otheraspects of diabetes.You may mean well, but giving advice about someone’s personal habits, especially when it is not requested, isn’t very nice. Besides, many of the popularly held beliefs about diabetes (“you should just stop eating sugar”) are out of date or just plain wrong.
Number 2: DO realize and appreciate that diabetes is hard work. Diabetes management is a full-time job that I didn’t apply for, didn’t want and can’t quit. It involves thinking about what, when, and how much I eat, while also factoring in exercise,medication, stress, blood sugar monitoring, and so much more – each and every day.
Number 3: DON’T tell me horror stories about your grandmother orother people with diabetes you have heard about. Diabetes is scary enough and stories like these are not reassuring! Besides, we now know that with good management, odds are good you can live a long, healthy, and happy life with diabetes.
Number 4: DO offer to join me in making healthy lifestyle changes. Not having to be alone with efforts to change, like starting an exercise program, is one of the most powerful ways that you canbe helpful. After all, healthy lifestyle changes can benefit everyone!
Number 5: DON’T look so horrified when I check my blood sugars or give myself an injection. It is not a lot of fun for me either. Checking blood sugars and taking medications are things I must do to manage diabetes well. If I have to hide while I do so, it makes it much harder for me!
Number 6: DO ask how you might be helpful. If you want to be supportive, there may be lots of little things I would probablyappreciate your help with. However, what I really need may be very different than what you think I need, so please ask first.
Number 7: DON’T offer thoughtless 10 reassurances. When you first learn about my diabetes, you may want to reassure me by saying things like, “Hey it could be worse; you could have cancer!” This won’t make me feel better. And the implicit message seems to be that diabetes is no big deal. However, diabetes (like cancer) IS a big deal.
Number 8: DO be supportive of my efforts for self-care. Help me set up an environment for success by supporting healthy food choices. Please honor my decision to decline a particular food, even when you really want me to try it. You are most helpful when you are not being a source of unnecessary temptation.
Number 9: DON’T peek at or comment on my blood glucose numbers without asking me first. These numbers are private unless I chooseto share them. It is normal to have numbers that are sometimes too low or too high. Your unsolicited comments about these numbers can add to the disappointment, frustration and anger I already feel.
Number 10: DO offer your love and encouragement. As I work hard to manage diabetes successfully, sometimes just knowing that you care can be very helpful and motivating.
Behavioral Diabetes Institute
Ok...I don't intend for this to be hurtful to anyone but as a parent you must know that we become "protectors" of our children. We work very hard to manage this disease and we don't need someone downgrading it by saying "It could be worse...she could have cancer." You're right...it could of been cancer...but this IS something just as bad...it's a progressive disease like cancer and it's certainly just as life threatening! Every single day I wake up and pray to God before I get out of bed that he watched over my baby and didn't take her from me. As I tiptoe to Kacey's room and place my hand on her chest to make sure she's breathing, I check her blood sugar while she's still sleeping peacefully and I pray for a "safe" number to show on that screen. It IS a scary disease and because I can't feel what her body is feeling that makes it even scarier!
**edit**
Furthermore, I was told today by a blogging mother ..." But many of our kids who have Down syndrome, deal with much more serious life threatening issues than diabetes, and there is not always a remedy such as insulin."
Well in response to that....cancer could be managed with taking the mass out and doing chemo/radiation and the person can be cancer-free... there are other serious life threatening illnesses that can be cured...but....
Until a CURE is found my child will NEVER be diabetes-free!!!!!!!!!
OK...I think I've said enough...probably too much...but after all, this is MY blog...MY place to vent my feelings...and I'm VERY thankful to have the support of every Type 1 and Parent of a Type 1 out there because they KNOW this exact pain and frustration I'm feeling! I love you all :)
The First Day Of 2009
Wow! It's hard to believe that a whole year has gone by. As I get older, the time seems to pass faster and faster!
The girls had fun with the streamers and horns. They finally settled down about 12:30am and it was off to bed! Kacey was complaining of her head hurting....test her sugar...274! I don't know if that was a spike from the excitement, from playing the Wii earlier or from dinner but I was scared to correct and her drop too low during the night. When I tested her this morning... 150. Perfect! So it must have just been all the excitement.
I hope you all had a great holiday and I look forward to a wonderful 2009! No New Years resolutions for me since I break them by Feb 1st...haha!
Last night was a great evening! My Mom and Brian ended up coming over for dinner. The girls then convinced them to play the Wii. Yep! Can you believe it? The giggles echoed through the house and I think Mom and Brian enjoyed it as much as they did! Frankie and I sat back and watched as they played 2 games of bowling, a game of Yahtzee and then the girls showed them how to play the Carnival Games. It was a lot of fun! Before Kacey was diagnosed, she and Kayleigh used to spend every Friday night with my Mom. It gave Frankie and I a chance to be alone and gave them time to spend with her. When Kacey was diagnosed, the Friday nights stopped and then only Kayleigh was going. Well Mom really misses having them there! Kacey still isn't comfortable enough to stay the night away yet and I know it will take some time. We're on the countdown to her visit with the Endo... 21 more days! We will find out then when we start pump classes and my Mom is going to go to them too so she can learn what to do. In the meantime, I think they are going to start coming up here on Friday nights and bring pizza and play the Wii ... haha! It'll be fun for the girls :)
Both girls tried their hardest to make it to midnight without dozing off. Kacey's eyes shut a little after 11pm and we woke her back up at 11:30pm because she wanted soooo bad to see the Jonas Brothers in Times Square. She was wide awake then! She'd had that "power nap"...you know those ones they get as babies... 30min of rest and their little eyeballs pop open and no matter how hard you try you can't get them back to sleep! LOL! So both girls were awake at midnight and we woke Daddy up with the excitement :) (heehee!)
The girls had fun with the streamers and horns. They finally settled down about 12:30am and it was off to bed! Kacey was complaining of her head hurting....test her sugar...274! I don't know if that was a spike from the excitement, from playing the Wii earlier or from dinner but I was scared to correct and her drop too low during the night. When I tested her this morning... 150. Perfect! So it must have just been all the excitement.I hope you all had a great holiday and I look forward to a wonderful 2009! No New Years resolutions for me since I break them by Feb 1st...haha!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
2008 In Review
This past year has certainly been a roller coaster ride. Much like day to day life with diabetes. I'll try to re-cap as best as I can :)
January~
I was suffering from a bad round of bronchitis and a sinus infection. I'd been coughing for weeks and waiting way too long before going to the doc. I was put on Augmentin...within 2 days I broke out in hives. Not just a small patch either...these were all over the body, scratch your back against the wall, feel like your skin is crawling hives! I ended up on Prednisone for a week! *grumbles* Not starting off the new year too great!
My Mom's 55th birthday.
Kayleigh starts her period...yikes!
My brother's 10th Anniversary (way to go bro!)
Kacey cuts her hair....8 inches gone!
We take the girls to see the Monster Trucks and Arena Motorcross
February~
Kacey starts her bowling league again
Kayleigh plays indoor field hockey
I suffer thru a teeth cleaning at the dentist (OMG I hate the dentist!)
Start to plan the surprise party for Frankie
March~
Kacey turns 8 years old!
Frankie turns 40 years old!
Throw a surprise 40th birthday party for Frankie. He thought he was coming to Kacey's birthday and it was his own! Kacey played a huge part in keeping the secret :) and she gave up having a party so we could give him a party...something he's never had!
Both girls get their teeth cleaned
Leave the girls overnight to go to The Funny Bone (a comedy club) and spend some time with friends we haven't been out with in a while.
Busch Gardens opens :)
Kacey takes a class trip to Norfolk Zoo. The first fieldtrip Frankie has been able to get off work and go on. It happened to be the same day as his birthday so he spent it at the zoo with her!
We took the girls to see Bull Riding
April~
SPRING BREAK!!
Kayleigh starts conditioning with the high school field hockey team. Tryouts are in Aug!
Having more "female" problems. I'm really starting to think more is wrong than they think.
More Busch Gardens
May~
More ultrasounds on those female parts that don't work anyway!
Mother's Day
Kacey's bowling tournament
My brother gets promoted to chief in the USCG (congrats bro!)
Kayleigh's hockey season banquet
More Busch Gardens
Water Country opens
My brother and his family come to visit before traveling across the USA to Hawaii where they will be stationed for 3yrs *cry*
Kayleigh starts the Wilton cake classes
Kacey finishes up her bowling season
June~
Kacey starts softball
Kayleigh starts summer outdoor field hockey
Kayleigh's Academic Excellence awards ceremony
Kayleigh's first formal dance
Pre-op for my surgery- Endometrial Ablation
Surgery
Spend some time laying on the beach recovering :)
SUMMER BREAK starts
July~
Kacey still playing softball
Kayleigh still playing field hockey
More time on the beach
Kayleigh starts 2nd cake class
DIABETES DIAGNOSIS- 3 days in the Pediatric ICU
Kayleigh to eye doctor for contacts
Diabetes Sweeties team starts to form
Diabetes Sweeties blog starts
August~
My 33rd Birthday (although I will always be 32! heehee!)
I cut 7 inches off my hair!
Kayleigh starts tryouts for the JV hockey team
CHKD Diabetes Carnival
Open house for school- Kayleigh 9th grade and Kacey 3rd grade
Meet with Kacey's school nurse to discuss her care
Meet with Kacey's new teachers to discuss her care
More Busch Gardens
September~
BACK TO SCHOOL- One of the scariest days of my life! This was the first time since diagnosis that I let Kacey be away from me at all. Nervous. Scared. Sick. And yes I cried....ALOT!
Josh Gracin in concert
Kacey starts bowling again
Kayleigh makes the JV high school field hockey team!
Kacey goes back for her first Endo check up since diagnosis
Kayleigh starts her 3rd cake class
I attend the volunteer meeting/orientation at Kaceys school
Howl-O-Scream starts at Busch Gardens
Kayleigh turns 14 years old
Kayleigh gets asked to Homecoming Dance
Kayleigh gets her first boyfriend
October~
Homecoming parade/football game
Homecoming Dance
Bale sale/Jewelry sale to raise money for the JDRF Walk
Our first JDRF Walk to a Cure- 45 walkers came to support our team
Pumpkin carving
Halloween
JV field hockey season ends and Kayleigh gets her JV letter. The team went UNDEFEATED this year! (Go Dukes!)
November~
I start to volunteer almost full time at Kacey's school
Fall Festival
This month 12 years ago I met Frankie
Happy Thanksgiving
December~
Frankie's sister comes to visit. We haven't seen her in 7 years!
I attend substitute training to be a sub in Kacey's school
Kacey takes her first fieldtrip without me since diagnosis (scary day!)
CHRISTMAS BREAK
First Secret Santa exchange in the Diabetes OC (and a great one it was!) I had just as much fun giving as I did receiving. What a special group we have here!
Our family gets into the Wii rollercoaster! I found muscles I didn't know I had (haha!)
Kayleigh celebrates her 3 month anniversary with her boyfriend (yikes...haha I remember when I celebrated "months")
Kacey gets her first real cold since diagnosis and it kicks her out of her honeymoon
MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Happy New Year!
Just wanted to wish everyone a safe and Happy New Year! I'll be back later on with my reflections and hopes for 2009!
Much love!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Day With My Girls
I took my girls down to the beach today. I had been waiting on a friend of mine who is an amateur photographer to take pics of them and since we didn't get them taken in time for Christmas cards, I decided to take them down there today. It was only in the high 50's here but there wasn't a wind blowing so it wasn't too chilly down on the water. I've always wanted to have a family portrait done outside and either the photographer wasn't available when we were, they backed out on us or they were too busy. After taking the pics down on the beach today, I really wanna do the family one! Kayleigh is dating a boy whose Dad is a photographer and I am going to ask him this week about doing a family sitting outdoors. There's lots of perfect places around this area to take them! It should be fun :)
Kacey's CDE from her Endo's office called today and wanted to make more dose changes. The breakfast and dinner carb ratio is now 1:12 instead of 1:15 and the lunch is still 1:10 and any snacks she has are 1:12. I can really tell they are starting to tweak this and get tighter control...which I'm thankful! I know she's through her honeymoon now. I also asked about dosing her before/after meals. Her suggestion was...if it's a meal that we know she is going to eat all of then do her dose before the meal. If it's a dinner that we don't usually have or a holiday meal that she will possibly be having 2nd's with then she said to wait til after the meal and dose her all at once. She went on to explain how it takes insulin 30 min to work and then if shes taking 20-30 min to eat her meal then you've lost all that time the insulin could be doing it's job and keeping her from the spike. So with meals we know she likes and we know she will finish then she suggested giving her the insulin about 15 min before she eats so it will kick in the same time her body will spike and then it reduces the risk of her hitting those high numbers. Makes sense! So I feel better after getting all the feedback from the prior post (thanks D-OC) and then talking to her CDE...each meal will be handled seperately as to how we dose her! :)
Kacey's CDE from her Endo's office called today and wanted to make more dose changes. The breakfast and dinner carb ratio is now 1:12 instead of 1:15 and the lunch is still 1:10 and any snacks she has are 1:12. I can really tell they are starting to tweak this and get tighter control...which I'm thankful! I know she's through her honeymoon now. I also asked about dosing her before/after meals. Her suggestion was...if it's a meal that we know she is going to eat all of then do her dose before the meal. If it's a dinner that we don't usually have or a holiday meal that she will possibly be having 2nd's with then she said to wait til after the meal and dose her all at once. She went on to explain how it takes insulin 30 min to work and then if shes taking 20-30 min to eat her meal then you've lost all that time the insulin could be doing it's job and keeping her from the spike. So with meals we know she likes and we know she will finish then she suggested giving her the insulin about 15 min before she eats so it will kick in the same time her body will spike and then it reduces the risk of her hitting those high numbers. Makes sense! So I feel better after getting all the feedback from the prior post (thanks D-OC) and then talking to her CDE...each meal will be handled seperately as to how we dose her! :)
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