Thursday, July 29, 2010

That Feeling Deep Down

Now that I've had time to clear my brain, I think I can write this post without crying. I was a basketcase yesterday evening and I couldn't even think straight to blog about what I was feeling.

Over the last few weeks, Kayleigh (my oldest daughter who is almost 16) has been having some symptoms. YES...THOSE symptoms. The ones that when you see other children having, you start to think about when your child was diagnosed and the ones you never saw coming. Extreme thirst, more bathroom breaks, hungry all the time, cranky...ok more than just PMS x10, and unually going to bed at 9pm...sleeping til after 9am...and then napping from 2-4 or 5pm. When she started drinking alot, it threw me into a tailspin and made me think about 2yrs ago when Kacey was so thirsty all the time. I had to try and set those feelings aside and remind myself ...Kay was thirsty because we were staying out on the beach and it was 100-105F all day. But was hard because that was the excuse I used when Kacey was so thirsty...she was playing softball in 95F weather, so yes, she was hot and thirsty! Over the last few days, the symptoms have increased and she hasn't had the energy to do anything. Last night, she stood up from the couch and had a "dizzy spell". She held her head and sat down. My first reaction was to grab the test kit. She had not eaten since 1pm ....prick....161. WHAT?! Normal is 80-120...right? OK, calm down Jill...don't let her see you upset. But it was too late, she was already in tears because she KNOWS what normal levels are. She couldn't eat dinner and she sat bawled up on the couch. About an hour later, Frankie came in and suggested we go for a walk to clear our heads and get some fresh air. Just to see what happened, I checked her blood sugar again.....164. CRAP! So we went for a mile walk and on the way back down our driveway, she said her knees felt like Jello. We went in the house to test again...88. its back in normal range BUT would it stay there? We chilled out on the couch and "Little Miss Compassionate" aka Kacey, explained to Kayleigh that it wasn't THAT bad because we all knew how to take care of her. Ugh...thanks Kacey! I finally had to send her in the other room because she was already diagnosing Kayleigh...LOL! Before Kay went to bed we did one more check...98. Still normal and up 10 from earlier.

I slept so restless last night. All the "what-if's" were killing me and I cried more tears just thinking about it. This morning, I decided to check her fasting blood sugar...99. OK, once again it's perfect. I told her that we'd check through the day and just keep an eye on it. I'm going to call and make her an appointment for her yearly physical and I will request to have another A1c done. She had one done 2yrs ago when Kacey was diagnosed and it came out on the high end of normal. So just to have peace of mind, I need to know that number hasn't gone above 6.0! In the meantime, I've eased Kay's mind by telling her it could have been a fluke or hormones. She agreed and I told her we would get the test done and then we could get concerned if that number was crazy but until then, we just go on like nothings wrong.

Although...those symptoms are still there! So if it's not for diabetes then we need to look a bit deeper and find out whats going on.

For all of you that are the praying type, please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. I will update when we know something!

(((HUGS))) to you all!


Lora said...

My heart sinks everytime theres the smallest possibility of another sweet child entering this world. I pray that it is nothing but a silly cold that is throwing her body out of wack. But I know that if it comes down to THAT she could not be more lucky to have you all there to support her and lift her up. (((hugs))) to ALL of you. Please keep us posted.

Heather said...

I am the praying type and I will be praying. Breaks my heart to hear that she could possibly have it too. ((hugs)) to you and let us know!

Hallie Addington said...

Oh geez... I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how scared you all must be. It breaks my heart to hear of others joining our "club". But like Lora said, she couldn't be luckier to have such and awesome Mom and Sis to guide her IF.... IF it happens. Like Meri told me just the other day... She'll be fine. No matter what. (((hugs)))

Meri said...

Well you got me crying. I know the worry, I SO KNOW the worry.

All is well. One step at a time. No use diagnosing her yet. If you get a bg over 200...then you can start worring a little. Until then, I say..."DEEP BREATH!" All is well!

Amanda said...

I have these worries all the time too, my little boy just barely turned 3, he has been tired and cranky and it seems like he is thirsty all day, my hubby says he's just growing, but I always feel like I am always waiting for one of the other kids to get it too. Hang in there!

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