Youth Group = Happy Teen

Kayleigh. My Oldest Daughter. My Shy Baby.

I've blogged some about her shyness before. When Kayleigh was little, she was glued to my hip. When we would walk into any room with people she didn't know, she would hug tight to my leg or cry for me to pick her up. She's always been very shy. I think it stems back to being poked and prodded when she was little by so many doctors that she didn't know. She was my sick baby. She got RSV and her first ear infection within the first 3 months of her life. She kept an ear infection for 8 straight months and we were at the doctor every 2 weeks getting a new antibiotic. Unfortunately we were in a group of doctors and every time she was seen, it was always a different doctor. By the time she was 10 months old, she got her first set of tubes but she also had her first asthma attack. We almost lost her that night! It was then that I became a very overprotective mother. I was a young mom...only 19 years old...but I was scared of her unconrolled asthma. She was on a nebulizer for breathing treatments every 4 hours for months. By the time she was 2, she'd seen so many different doctors because she'd been so sick and she was now facing a 2nd set of tubes and her adenoids out. Once she made it through that, we only had her asthma to control. But during that time, she wasn't crazy about men and she definately wouldn't go to anyone that she didn't know. I think she was scared they were going to poke at her. So that being said, she's always been VERY shy. She's not quick to make friends but she holds her friends that she does have very close. She's not quick to talk to boys but she has gotten better about it (I'm not complaining though...haha!) She's always gotten good grades and she excels with whatever she puts her mind to. After all, not many can say they've had their own cake decorating business since they were 13! (If you haven't seen her cakes yet, check her out on Facebook at Cakes By Kayleigh) With every cake, I've watched her grow and push her limits. But once again, that is her comfort zone.

Soooooo....the reason for my post.....
As you all already know, we started attending a new church in October of last year. One of the main things I was looking for in a church was a Youth Group. My girls are at the ages where they really need to have that and I just feel it's very important. The Youth Group at our church starts when they are 6th grade so Kacey can't start yet but Kayleigh can. This meant she had to step out of her comfort zone and take this journey on her own. When I attended the ornament exchange, I had the chance to speak with the pastor's wife about getting the girls involved in the Youth Group and Girl's Group. They have a girls group that meets on Sunday mornings. It's divided into middle school girls and high school girls. Then on Thursday night is Youth Group and thats when all the kids are together. A few Sundays after I spoke with the pastor's wife, Kayleigh and I finally had the chance to meet the girl that lead's the girls group. Well...she happens to be the youth pastor's wife!!! I can't even begin to tell you how welcomed Kayleigh and I both felt. We were welcomed with hugs and she spoke with us like she'd known us forever. For Kayleigh, THAT made a huge difference! Last Sunday was a perfect time for her to start Girls Group because it's a new year and a new session. She was very nervous about leaving out in the middle of church and walking into that room with those other girls....ALONE! I couldn't hold her hand and walk her to the classroom. This was something she had to do on her own. And...SHE DID IT! This past Sunday was her first meeting with them. As nervous as she was, she came out all smiles. So then, she wanted to find out what Thursdays were like but she was still very nervous about walking into that big room of kids. Youth group starts at 6:30pm so we arrived at the church at 6:15pm in hope that she would see some of the girls that she met on Sunday. By 6:25pm, she hadn't seen anyone that she knew go into the building so I made her get out and walk in. I walked in with her because we weren't sure where she needed to go. As soon as we got to where she needed to be, she layed eyes on the youth pastor who yelled to her across the room. She made a beeline for him! Not even turning around to say bye to me. As I walked back out to the van, I smiled to myself. She took another BIG step! There she was, in a room full of people that she really didn't know....BUT she was there! She had taken another step out of that box and it was just the step she needed. I walked back in to pick her up at 8pm and she was nothing but smiles. We had a 30 minute ride home and she didn't stop talking the entire way. She had a wonderful time. She thanked me for pushing her to go. She made several friends while she was there. And most of all....she wants to go EVERY Thursday! She was even a little upset because several of the youth are going to a conference tonight and 2 weeks ago she wasn't ready to go but when they were talking about it last night, she wished she had signed up. I was in the kitchen cooking dinner a little while ago and she came in and leaned against the counter and let out a big sigh. I turned and saw her staring off into space and I asked her what was wrong? She said, "I wonder how much fun the youth are having tonight? I really wish I would have gone to YEC." I had to smile! It makes me feel so good that she actually wanted to be there and that she was thinking about it. As she gets more involved with the youth there, I know some great opportunities will arise and she will make some wonderful memories with them. I just have to say, I'm thrilled that my shy girl is taking those steps on her own to move out of her comfort zone. It's also exciting to see her so happy!

As a parent, our job is to instill morals and values into our children and then hope and pray they take the right path. We can't choose the path for them but we can direct them in the right direction. It's nice to see them headed in the right direction!

Blog Button

HELP!

I've tried for weeks to create a blog button and I haven't been able to figure out how to do it. Can someone tell me how to make one or direct me to the page that tells me how to do it?

I want to have one of those cool lookin buttons that you all have but I just can't figure it out!

THANK YOU!!

Pump, Pump And Awayyyyy!

Well..it's official!

I faxed in Kacey's paperwork for an Animas Ping yesterday. I was emailing with her CDE and the Endo about submitting the paperwork for Animas and Dexcom. Unfortunately we have to wait for Dexcom because they want her to get the hang of the new pump first before overwhelming her with another piece of equipment. Understandable! I explained everything to Kacey and she was fine with it but she told me it wouldn't be long before she understood her pump so they should just on and order Dexcom...LOL! She's a mess!

I'm about to bust because she has already picked out names for everything. Pump. Remote. Dexcom. They all 3 have girl names! I can't tell you all the names yet because she wants me to wait until she gets them so we can post a picture. However....I will tell you...she's calling them "The Power Pump Girls" (remember the Power Puff Girls?) Hahahaha! She loved that show when she was little! Anyway, she's got pumponthebrain syndrome and it's all she's talked about lately. I'm so thankful that the transition is going to be MUCH easier than I thought it would be. I think it would have been much more difficult if it was "Herbie" that she was giving up but since she's already had that experience then I think we're good to go!

Also...MORE basal changes this week! She was only in range 15% of the time last week...YUK! We also changed her I:C ratio from 1:8 to 1:7. I'm hoping that maybe this will help as well!

I had a long conversation with her about infusion sets yesterday. She wants the colored infusion sets now. She's always been so scared of the automatic inserter sets. I explained to her that she couldn't have the cute colored sets without having them in the auto sets. We talked long about her growing up and how she does all of her care except change a set. I know she *wants* to do it on her own but without the automatic one, she just can't right now. I explained that she doesn't *have * to be ready to do a set on her own but eventually she is going to want to do one and if we're already doing them, then she won't be so scared when it comes time to do them. Soooooo....I think when we go for pump training she is going to be ready to try the automatic one. It all goes back to the noise. She relates that click noise to being in the hospital and having her fingers torn to shreds by those HUGE lancets they use. When we came home from the hospital, I was doing her finger sticks and it took a long time to convince her that I was not going to hurt her like those HUGE lancets did. Once she gained some confidence with one certain pricker then that is all she would use. It wasn't long before she was doing them on her own but that is because she knew the sound, she knew the pain level and she was ok with it. That fear of the unknown is a scary thing for anyone so I can only imagine how scary it is for a child. We get into a diabetes comfort zone and we've been in that zone for almost 2 years now. Same pump. Same infusion sets. Same insulin. Same pricker. Same lancets. Same, same, same! Now we're about to step out of that comfort zone but I think I know Kacey well enough to say....as soon as she gets over that fear of the unknown then we will be back into a new comfort zone with some really new and cool technology!

Now...it's the waiting game for insurance approval :)

Workout & Worship

Yesterday was my first day of what I call...Workout & Worship.

I hate New Year's resolutions. I always have! Every year I would make a list of things I would follow through with and by April, just about every one of them were thrown out the window. Then came discouragement. I've done this for years now. So this year I decided it was time to do something a little bit different. My best friend and I have started a program that I call Workout & Worship. On Monday, Wednesday and Friday, we will walk several miles and then on Tuesday and Thursday, I am going to get on my elliptical at home. We both bought new sweatshirts that have headphones built into them and I made us a playlist for our iPods of nothing but fast feel good worship music. Yesterday we walked 2 miles! It was soooo cold... 28*....but we walked! It felt so good to get out into the brisk air. The faster I walked, the warmer I got. My goal for all of this is to drop weight but it's nice to have a partner that shares a similar life to be able to share this journey with. I'm not setting any high expectations of myself right now...small goals, right? So every time we drop 10 pounds then we're treating ourself to something special...manicure, pedicure, shopping...something fun!

When I came home yesterday, I was tired but I also felt refreshed. I feel like I'm giving myself a new start! I deserve it! So....c'mon Chris Tomlin, Jeremy Camp, Lincoln Brewster and more because we're on this journey together to get this weight off my rear end! LOL!

Here's to my new start!

Ohhh and if you haven't registered yet...Check out the SUGAR BOLUS on Cara's Blog!

Tough To Hear

Today I heard something come out of Kacey's mouth that I never thought I'd ever hear!

I woke her up at 6:45am like I normally do and she grumbled. Yep, she'd been high all night...AGAIN! It seems like we just can't get these basals right. So she gets up and she comes out where I am and shes crying. And then....those words came out of her mouth like diarrhea.....

"Mom I hate school and I don't want to go"

I gasped and looked up at her. There she sat...tears rolling down her face telling me she hated school. WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?! I asked her why she would say something like that? Was it the teachers? No. Was it the kids? No. Was it the school work? No. Then WHY? She said, "I don't like getting up when I feel bad and I want to do the work when I feel good." My heart broke into a million pieces!

Dear Diabetes,
Today Kacey woke up like any other normal day but today was a bit different. She has finally reached her breaking point with you. You are causing her to not like school now because she has to get up after you've reaked havoc on her body all night. I know she's growing and I know her hormones are a mess but PLEASE give my poor kid a break! She used to love school and she was happy there and now you make her miserable. Most days she can't even make it til 2pm before calling me to tell me that you're spiking her over 400. How do you expect her to learn like that? She can't focus, her head hurts, her stomach hurts, she can't see the board because it hurts too bad to try and look at the white board. Stop this now! I can't tell you how many times homeschooling has crossed my mind. It seems like the answer to everything but it's not fair that she has to be taken away from the friends she has had for the last 6 years and be with me all day. I'm asking you to just settle down for a bit so she can catch a break.
Thank you so much!
A very worn out Mommy

BTW....morning blood sugar...330. BLECH!

Alert, Really?

I've had some time to gather my thoughts and try and sort them. The following post is in NO way meant to discourage anyone from persuing an alert dog, it's just MY experience with one certain facility.

Yesterday we drove to the K-9 facility that was over 1.5 hours away from us. I went into the whole situation with an open mind. I wasn't sure what to expect, other than I knew we'd see a demo of how alerting worked. When we got there, I was a little disappointed to see that the "training facility" was in fact a small room (about 12x20) with non-skid rugs. We took a seat on folding chairs lined up and we were told how they teach the dogs to alert with samples. One of the dogs that is a "demo dog" was brought in and we were shown how she alerts. We were told that she was a little hyper because she'd been in a kennel all day. (first grumble) It took her about 5 minutes to sense the "low scent" and it was pretty neat to see her paw at the trainer. She was awarded with food. We got to pet her and she was very excited to see us. We were told that the breed they like to use is Goldendoodles or Labrodoodles since they are hypoallergenic and don't shed. After we visited with her for a few minutes, she was led back to the kennel. My new navy blue sweatshirt was covered in dog hair. They don't shed? (second grumble) The next dog was brought in and he was nearly the size of a Great Dane and VERY hyper! Kacey was instantly turned off by this one because he was so big. He is a "started" dog so he hasn't gotten all of his training yet. He was a nice dog but WAYYYYY too much dog for us. When we were shown how he alerts, he seemed to just be excited to get some food and it didn't look like much alerting to me. (third grumble) He was taken back to his kennel and the third dog was brought in. She was much smaller and came in jumping around like a frog. Another one that was high strung. She appeared to be alerting but again, it seemed like she knew he had food in a cup connected to his belt. She kept trying to jump on him and he turned to us and told us that was her way of alerting. (fourth grumble) All the dogs had basic obedience training but none of them had been public certified yet and that was something we'd have to take classes to do. We'd have to travel down there 1-2 times a week to work with more obedience and scent training and then work on getting public certification. I'd pretty much made up my mind by this point because you know how you get a gut feeling that something just isn't right and it sounds "too good to be true". I didn't get the impression that they'd been doing this very long and wrapping up $10,000-$20,000 in a dog is HUGE! I looked down the row of chairs at Frankie and he sat there quietly and I could tell that he wasn't showing approval. We told the trainer that we'd like time to think about this since it was a huge step for us. It was such chaos that I didn't even get any pictures. The trainer explained to us that a fully trained dog will cost $20,000. He doesn't push for that because they like the families to be involved in the training so they like to place what they call "Started" dogs. These dogs cost $10,000 and they help you corporate funraise to absorb the costs. These started dogs have basic obedience class and have started scent training with low scents. It is then the families job to pick up where they leave off and travel back and forth for training and then start going out into public with the dog to work on public certification. The trainer told us they like to place started dogs because it's cheaper for the families and we can "customize" the scent training, etc. (insert red flags waving wildly)

As we walked out, Frankie looked at me and said, "Well?" I kinda shook my head and he said, "You tell me what you're thinking and then I will tell you how I feel about it." So I turned to Kacey and asked her what she thought? She went on to tell us that she thought the dogs were too big (they were a little bigger than a Lab) and it was hard to tell if they were alerting or if they just knew the trainer had food and were giving them their paw. She was right! She was having the same feelings that we were.

Right now, it's not the right time. It's not the right facility for us. I'm scared to raise $20,000 for a fully trained dog and then not get what we pay for. It's a tough situation! I just wasn't impressed enough and it makes me sad but it's really not for us right now. I'm just not totally convinced these dogs were alerting. It just felt like they were finishing obedience training and sitting to give a paw to shake. I was really worried that Kacey would be in tears if we said no right now. She wasn't all that disappointed. She actually smiled and said, "I'm getting a new pump and a CGM so I will be just fine Mom!" Ahhhhhh! :) Thats my girl!

So for now, thats what we're going to do. We're heading down the road with Animas and Dexcom!

Pump Class

Oh boy! Where do I even begin?

I felt like we were back at square one again because I really didn't know much about MiniMed vs. Animas. All I really knew was what I read and the reviews that you all gave me. I went into the class with a very open mind and I had no clue which pump we'd end up really looking at.

As we got off the elevator, the MiniMed pump rep snagged us and began his "spill" about the pump and all it's perks. I sorta felt like we were shopping for a new car and he was the salesman! There was another family there with us and he went on and on about how the pump works. About half way through, he asked if we had any questions. Ummm....wrong question! LOL! I gave him a run for his money and blasted him with all the questions I had. Kacey had a MiniMed pump in her hand but she didn't have a smile on her face. My first question to the MiniMed rep was....Is it true, since it's what I hear, the MiniMed CGM sites are MUCH more painful than the Dexcom sites? He gave me a bit of a puzzled look and I explained that we were already pumpers and we were choosing our next pump but the CGM was something we really wanted with as little pain as possible. He then went on to tell us how it worked. Thats NOT what I asked! I asked if it was painful? So then he explained how it was inserted. NO! Thats NOT what I asked! He finally said, "What have your Mom bloggers said about it?" (Yep, told him I'd talked to all of you about it!) Again I said, "I heard it was painful and uncomfortable." He then replied, "Well it's a larger needle than your infusion set." Kacey handed the pump back and looked at me with the "Mom Im ready to go" look. We breezed right by the OmniPod rep since she wasn't interested at all. (I will come back to this later on) Around the corner stood...Animas! I've been tossing back and forth over this and it didn't take long to settle myself when I saw the smile come across Kacey's face. It was the smile I saw when she first held a Cozmo pump. We were tickled to see Kacey's very first CDE, Nurse A. She was there the night Kacey was diagnosed, she was there the horrible morning after, she was there when we chose "Herbie" and now here she was again...only this time she was not there as a CDE. She is now a rep for Animas! This settled my nerves as well. She was helping another family so we started talking with the other rep, who happened to have one fantastic personality! I stood there watching Kacey press the buttons as she showed her how to bolus and my heart was swelling. I listened as Kacey asked questions. She told the rep about her favorite features and of course, I voiced mine. Kacey was fascinated with the remote and the color, VERY easy to read and navigate screen on the pump. After we talked to the reps, we went into another room for the class. Since we're pump upgrades, we didn't have to sit through the class with all the other new pumpers. We were in a class with another family that were also Cozmo users and having the same issues that we are. Their daughter has been on a Cozmo for 6 years and they were looking at Animas and Omnipod. After a very informal question and answer session, we were given the chance to try on a pod if we wanted or we could try a new infusion set. The other little girl was interested in the Omnipod so she went first and we all watched as the pod was filled and applied. The girl did not realize that she was going to actually get stuck so it was quite a shock when the CDE said, "Here it comes" and we all heard a "shunk" sound. The girls eyes got as big as quarters as she realized she got stuck and she immediately tried to hold back tears as she walked back to her chair in front of Kacey. It was only a few minutes before she began to cry...and then I looked over to see Kacey in full blown tears!!! I hugged her and asked her why in the world she was crying? She continued to cry harder as she said, "Cuz I know her pain". Well then the little girls Mom and I both welled up with tears because we all felt it! I then went on to ask more questions about the Omnipod because I really wasn't that familiar with it but I didn't want to completely rule it out, even though Kacey already had. Over a 3 day period, Kacey takes in about 240-250 units so this would mean we'd be changing the pod every 2 days instead of every 3. Then...one thing that I didn't realize was...once the insulin is in the pod, there is no extracting it. So if you bump the pod and it comes loose and you have to take it off, then you lose that insulin! Ummm...for us....we're using just about 3 vials a month and if we're making those sorts of boo-boo's then we're going to run short on insulin and that completely scares the crap out of me! Then, the thought of the PDA being something she has to carry around unattached and the thought of it being left somewhere and no way to give a bolus other than the PDA. We just didn't think the Omnipod was something that was right for us right now. Yep, Kacey already knew that but I wanted to give it a chance! I know the Omnipod has been wonderful for many of you and it's so nice to love your pump :) (please dont send over any hate comments...LOL!) So then, my other questions were directed for CGM's. I wanted to hear about all the differences in the MM vs. Dex....and I got them! I got to see that freakin HUGE needle/cannula from the MiniMed CGM (yowserssss! bless those of you that can wear it comfortably!) but then I got what I asked for...pros and cons of each one. The CDE had to be neutral since it was ultimately our decision as to which one was being chosen and she didn't want to sway us in any way. So that was nice but there are times when you do want some validation that you're making the right choice...even though there really isn't a right or wrong choice with these pumps. It's all about preference and what works for you or your child. So.......what did I do? I went back to Nurse A, of course! I knew she could give me the feedback I was looking for :) and she did! Kacey pressed more buttons and played with the Ping remote while I asked more questions about Dexcom. While we were in the other room, I did learn something that I did NOT know about CGM's. For those of you using the Dexcom, did you know that it's not pediatric approved and it's not accurate when taking acetaphetamine? This was new for me! So the CDE was telling us that our Endo office does not have a Dexcom rep because they are a pediatric Endo office and it is not something approved for pediatrics....BUT it is something we can choose if we want it but she wanted us to understand that if we needed help with it then they could only give us the 1-800 number to refer to since they wouldn't have anyone there to help. WOW! OK...the CDE had told us she had worn both sensors before and she did find the MM sensor to be a bit uncomfortable but then we also had to realize that the Dex sensor is wire thin and we had to ask ourselves what would we do if that thin wire sensor broke off in her skin? Yikes! Talk about not wanting a CGM...haha! So then I talked with Nurse A some more about the whole issue with medication and she asked me, "Would you check Kacey's sugar more when shes sick and has a fever?" Ummmm, yep! "OK, then you don't need that Dex sensor to be accurate, right?" Ahhhh, right! I also found out....50% of MM users that used the MM CGM ended up switching to a Dex :) So again, it's all in what you want. I felt like I learned so much and I asked so many more questions than I did the first time we went to class. It felt great!

Sooooo....what did Kacey choose?

Kacey chose the pink Animas ping with a pink & purple camo case and a Dexcom CGM.

I have to fill out all of the paperwork and fax it in on Monday. I'm not sure what our out of pocket expense is going to be yet but we were told that Animas would give us a trade in allowance if we traded her Cozmo. As soon as she heard that, she broke down! "Mommy, PLEASE don't make me give my Cozmo to them!" Ughhhhhhh! We went through enough trauma when we had to send "Herbie" back so I don't think we are going to trade in "Goober". I will just let her keep it as a spare since she will still be able to use the Comfort Short sites with the Animas pump (another reason we liked it!) Kacey is dead set against using any of the automatic inserter things. We use the manual insert ones and thats what she is comfortable with....and thats fine...but I'm glad we will have the option of the automatic ones because I'm guessing within the next year she will want to do a site on her own. But for now, we're sticking with what works for us! :)

So to all of you that gave me all the wonderful info on both pumps....THANK YOU! I went into the class with the knowledge that you all had given me and I was able to say, "Well my D-Mom friends said....." and that was some nice back up! :)

Tomorrow is another BIG day for us! We go to meet the diabetic alert dogs and see how they work. We're very excited! I promise to get some pics :) I took my camera to pump class with the intentions of getting pics and I ended up so involved with questions and pushing buttons that I forgot to get a few pics. So I will be sure to capture some pics and hopefully some video :) It's going to be a neat experience and I'm thrilled to get the ball rolling on this!

Site Infection

HELP! I know Kacey can't be the only person to ever experience this!

Kacey has been pumping for almost 2 years now and this is our FIRST site infection and I'm not sure how to "treat" it? Of course, it doesn't help that today is a holiday AND a Saturday.

Anyway...yesterday was site change. She likes getting in the shower when she pulls out her old set and scrubs up with nothing attached. So she was undressing and I heard her yell for me. I went running in and saw her standing there trying to take her old set out and all around the set about 2 inches round it was all red, swollen and inflamed. As she pulled the set out, puss came out with it. It oozed....she cried...and then she got in the shower to clean up. When she got out, the site was worse and she was shivering. I cleaned up the old site with some peroxide and I put in her new site on the opposite side of her tummy. She continued to cry and about an hour later, she complained that she didn't feel good. I ran my hand along her face like I normally do and she was warm!! I grabbed the thermometer and she had a FEVER...102*!!! I started to have a minor meltdown. All I could think was this infection was causing all of this and it went unnoticed til it was too late. She's almost 11 years old, so I don't dress her or continually check her site because...well...for a little girl this age, it's a bit embarrassing to have Mom lifting to check her sites. She's so comfortable with her sites that she doesn't take notice of them and when the 3 days pass...she takes the old one out and I put the new one in. We've never had this issue.

So now...here we are almost 24 hours later....the fever is gone (thank you Motrin) and the site isn't as inflamed. The little hole is scabbed and not draining anything. It's still sore to the touch though. We've used ice on it to calm the inflammation. I've put more peroxide on it. I dabbed a little Neosporin on the hole.

Here is what I want to know....
What causes a site to get infected? Was it something I did? Was it something she did? Bumping it? Pulling it and not realizing it?

How do you care for something like this?

Should I get her an antibiotic? If not, how do I know when I should take her in to have it checked?

She's not showing any signs of being sick. She has a great appetite. She doesn't have a fever anymore. She's playing. The area is just very sensitive and it's still red...alittle smaller than a tennis ball.

Any help that any of you could offer would be GREAT!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011!!! :) May you all have a wonderful year!