Doc Visit Update

We found the culprit for the rise in blood sugars.....a sinus infection! Yep and we walked out with a prescription for Zithromax and a cough pill called Tessalon... hmmm cough pill? Apparently this pill wont rise her blood sugars like cough syrup will. LOL ... reminds me of some sort of gimmick thingy. Anyway...she just got her first dose and shes eating dinner and wanting to lay back down. When I checked her at 3pm she was a 309 so she did the correction shot without too much fuss. I explained to her that her Endo wanted her to check her sugar every 3 hours and if she was high then do a correction shot and as much as she was going to hate getting the shot, with any luck she'd actually feel better once she got her sugar back in range :) She agreed that she'd rather feel better than worry about a shot. Im just so proud of her! The blood sugar checks every 3 hours are gonna be a bitch tho...this means shes gotta do that at school too *grumbles*

Now I wanna rant about this visit with the doc....lol Im just all about ranting today but this is really bothering me. I dont have a medical degree...I dont claim to know everything about diabetes....and often Ive been known to ask more questions than I really should...but its only because I DO wanna know all I can about my daughters illness and be the best parent I could possibly be. That being said.... The doc is our family PCP. When I talked to the CDE earlier she suggested since Kacey hadnt been feeling well and was coughing til she threw up then she thought maybe we should see the PCP for a prescription to help her feel better. I took her advice and made the appt as soon as I could. This is the same PCP that I took her to when I thought she had the bladder infection and he sent us straight to the ER at Children's because she had Type 1! OK...so here is the convo:

Doc: So how much insulin does she get a day?
Me: Well it depends on her blood sugar. She gets 1:18 for bfast and lunch and 1:20 for dinner and then we do a correction dose for anything over 150.
Doc: Ok so how many units does she get?
Me: I dont know...it depends on whether she needs a correction dose and how many carbs she eats?
Doc: Well how many carbs does she eat?
Me: Ummm it depends on how hungry she is
Doc: Well how many calories is she eating?
Me: We were told not to watch calories...we watch carbs and dose her like that
Doc: I think your problem is food intake. Thats why she is having high blood sugars and once you get that under control then her numbers will come down.
Me: Thats not the problem for the highs...shes sick and shes still in her honeymoon and they are tweaking her dose.
Doc: Well she has more highs than normal blood sugars so its her food intake and she should be getting a set amount of insulin a day and she should be getting about 1400 calories a day or she should at least have a set number of carbs she is allowed to have.

Ok...by this point I could feel my cheeks getting red...I could see my oldest daughter shaking her head because she knew EXACTLY what I was thinking!! Clearly this doc was talking about TYPE 2!!!!! Not only that....he was telling me about the woman that came in and was taking 60 units a day and he just up'ed her dose to 70 units. Geezussssss 70 units of Humalog a day would kill Kacey!!! I was at a point that I couldnt even argue back because of the knot in my throat that was making me want to cry!!! I think I need to make an appt with the CDE just to discuss things going on and get us all on the same page. When Kacey is sick, I will just suck up the $40 copay and take her over there rather than taking her to a Family doc. Even tho Im not a huge fan of her Endo, they know all about her and have her blood sugar records and can make a better call as to what to do for her. This just sucks! I felt like I could have done more for her if I had the prescription pad! LOL!

~sigh~ So there ya have it....the frustrations of being a Mommy of a child with diabetes!

Who knows what tomorrow holds?!?!

We have the fieldtrip but it will all depend on whether she grumbles or smiles when I poke her in the morning. I'll update as I can!

~*~JILL~*~

ANOTHER Dose Change!

~sits up and tries to smile thru gritting teeth~

Yep...ANOTHER dose change! The CDE called and said the doc wanted to change her breakfast carbs from 1:20 to 1:18... hmmm isnt that what I wanted to do already? LOL! She said it seems Kacey's running high after breakfast.....DUH! Haha! Geesh...if I dont laugh about it then I'll cry!

We had another drop this afternoon...not as bad...but a BIG drop. She was a 287 at 3pm and she just tested for dinner and was a 79! Instead of treating a low, I just had her eat dinner. This way I'm not stuck in the situation I was the other day with overcorrecting. She said she feels fine so thats always a good thing :)

As for me, I picked up my application this afternoon and I dropped off 2 of the 3 letters of reference that I needed filled out. I was at Kacey's school all day again today :) It really has lit my teaching fire again and I really like being there. It also makes me feel better knowing that Im just an announcement away from getting to her. I will be up at school every day the rest of the week because her school nurse, Mrs. H, is still out of town. Her Mom is still really bad off *sad* I'm still keeping her in my thoughts and prayers.

~*~JILL~*~

Happy Blog Day!

Today is a GOOD day!

Today Kacey woke up at a 135 and she smiled when I kissed her cheek to wake her up. Yes. Today has been a good day! She's been in the best mood, despite creeping into the 200's at lunch. She's danced. She's played Barbies. She's gone outside with her sister. She's laughed. She's the Kacey I wish we could have every day!

Happy Blog Day to all my fellow bloggers out there!

I only started blogging just a few short months ago, yet some days I feel like I've been here longer. After we came home from the hospital with Kacey, I was internalizing all my feelings. I was scared to let anyone see me cry and I tried to remain so strong...it was the Mommy part of me! I thought if I let anyone see me cry then they'd see weakness and I didn't want to be seen as the Mommy that couldn't handle such a terrible diagnosis. So I turned to the internet as an outlet. I dove into reading everything I could get my fingers on...I clicked...clicked...clicked...and I started to run across blogs. Linking from one blog to another, I found a world that exsisted on here that I never knew about. A world filled with other people struggling with the daily in's and out's of diabetes and their stories gave me hope. I'll admit...there are many nights I sat here reading blogs (all the way back from the person's very first post) and by the time I got to the present day, I felt like I actually knew that person! I'd never chatted with them...never met them face to face...but we had a common link....diabetes. I didn't feel so alone anymore! I started blogging...started posting...and started to become "friends" with some people that I'd never even spoken to! How fascinating! These people that I'd become friends with had read my story like I did theirs...they knew some of my inner most feelings...they felt my struggle, my frustration, AND most of all my pain!

Sheri...if it wasn't for the blog and myspace...our girls never would have linked. You've given me hope...motivation...and the courage to be a parent of a type 1 child with diabetes. You're "been there, done that" helped me when I needed it most and I'm forever greatful for you and I'm proud to call you my friend! We love you and Nikki!! BTW, remind me to tell you about the "package".

Cara...being type 1 yourself you've been able to share info with me and let me know that what seems to be "not normal" ...really is "normal in diabetes life" and its ok to feel the way I do sometimes! Im thankful for the info you've shared with me and the hope you've given me as well! *HUGE HUGZ*

To all my other fellow bloggers that I don't know on a more personal level since I'm so new to this...I hope to get to know all of you better...and I'm thankful to all of you that have taken the time to post to me and let me know that things WILL get better...I just have to give it time! Every single post was taken to heart and you have NO idea what they all mean to me! Thank you SOOOO much!

To our friends and family that read the blog...thank you for your support over the last 4 months! We couldnt have made it without the love you've all given us. Your kind words...your support....your hope...and most of all your prayers! If you are reading the blog and keeping up on our daily struggles...dont be a stranger :) Leave me a post and let me know you're here! I'd love to know who's out there following along with us. :) Thanks!

As I close....I close with a smile and tears. A smile because this IS a good day...we're thankful and pray for more days like this. And tears because I really am so very happy to be a part of the Diabetes OC and to walk hand in hand with each and every one of you as we continue the day to day struggles and walk this long road together.

May you all have a blessed day!

~*~JILL~*~

One Helluva Ride!!

I guess I should have known better than to say anything about things being "better" *cry* After I posted the post before this, I got a phone call from the substitute nurse... "Hi Jill! (hearing desperation in her voice) I think you should come and get Kacey right now! She's throwing up and she doesnt feel good." .... I'M ON MY WAY!!!! So I get there and rush into the clinic...just in time to see Kacey with her head hung in the trash can puking and the Principal sitting with her. Imagine the rush that went thru my body when Kacey looked up at me with NO color in her face!! I tried talking to her and she had this "disoriented" state about her. I immediately cradled her in my arms and her Principal said she was worried because she'd went so pale. So I asked Kacey what made her sick? Was it the coughing? Was it the fact that she went from lunch to recess and was running around and got hot and sweaty? Was it the flu? I don't know....I got her to the car with a plastic bag, towels and a wet cloth in tow....and YES she used them on the way home!!! ~sigh~ Once we got home she got right in bed...her blood sugar was a 187....hmmm ok. She ended up going to sleep and I woke her up at 5pm since it was time to eat dinner...she tested.... 60!!!!!!! Holy LOW NUMBERS Batman! OMG! So now its time to eat....but instead she has 4 glucose tabs....wait 15min and test... Ummmm 495!!!!!! YIKES!!!!!!! Now what? Shes hungry and wanting dinner....shes at a 495 and I dont want to overcorrect....what do I do? Think Jill, THINK! OK...let her eat...give her the insulin for the food but only give her 2 units to correct and then retest in an hour and see where her number is. So thats what I do... an hour later... 181!!! Alright...so do I jump for joy since I didnt overcorrect and drop her again and because shes not thrown up since earlier and she feels fine.... or do I collapse from the emotional toll that this took on me? Neither! I take 4 Motrin to kill the migraine I have and smile. Talk about a roller coaster ride...geesh...my stomach is still in knots from dealing with everything!

It's now time to test for bedtime.... 146 :) ~sighs heavy~ I think I need a hot bubble bath...LOL!

~*~JILL~*~

How Low Can You Go?

It seems like everytime I have a rant at Diabetes, he decides to back off because he knows how damn frustrating it is! Last night Kaceys bedtime blood sugar was a 149!!! The lowest shes been in a while! Even though it was a good number, I decided to put on my Secret Spy costume and see if I could catch that criminal named Mr. D.P. (Dawn Phenomenon). After Cara's mention of it, I did some research and it was saying to test at 3am for a few days and see what the numbers are. I think this will also help the Endo make changes to the Lantus as well...geesh...wouldn't it have been just as easy for the CDE to say "Mom, try doing 3am checks for us so we can use those numbers to help us with her dose" ~sigh~ Anyway...her bedtime check was 149 @ 8pm ... I checked again at 11:30pm and she was a 214 .... then at 3am she was a 170 ... and woke up at 7am with a 142! So shes spiking up toward the midnight hour and then coming down? She was a 182 for lunch and still smiling. Im glad to see her feeling better tho! I will continue to do the 3am checks until I fax numbers on Monday and then see what the doc says then. Hopefully that will give them a better idea of how to change things. Wooohooooo!

As for me... with the school nurse being out, I've been up at the school volunteering because its easier than running back and forth. That "teacher" part of me is starting to come alive again! I taught preschool for 8 years and then when I had Kacey I quit to be home with her. A part of me always wanted to be back in the classroom but then I liked having the freedom of being at home. I've been in the classroom with 1st graders and after a few days they're hugging me and waving to me in the hall...I'm not just "Kacey's Mom" anymore... I'm "Mrs. West" :) So...I've made the decision to go back to work. Yeah I know... it was a long and hard decision...but I'm going to put in to substitute for now. That way I still have the flexability...but I will also be at the school with Kacey if she needs me. I figure if I'm going to be in the class I might as well get paid for being there! I'm really excited about going back. I redid my resume...in the process of getting my 3 letters of recommendation and a copy of my transcripts...and I'll drop by on Monday for the application. For now, I'll continue to volunteer :) I'm working in the office on Monday and helping the principal with some preparations for the Fall Festival. So lots of excitement here and I've really been happy the last few days... its been a long time since I've felt like this!

~*~JILL~*~

Dose Change...again!

I got a call back (finally) from Kacey's Endo...or should I say CDE. I hate when I can't talk to the doc or CNP. Anyway, they reviewed the faxed numbers I sent and they are going to increase her Lantus from 10 to 11 and then change the dinner carbs 1:18 and leave breakfast and lunch carbs 1:20. Why dont they just change all the meals. OK... Im really frustrated because yesterday school called me at 3:15pm and said Kacey was a 360 and feeling bad and wanted to go home. I got there and Kacey had the "I feel miserable" look on her face and so when we got home she went right to her bed and ended up sleeping for nearly 2 hours. When she woke up it was dinner time and she tested... 153!!

Numbers yesterday were...

262 @ 7am

271 @ 8am

283@ 1pm

360 @ 3pm

153 @ 5pm

237@ 6pm

145 @ 8pm

then 210@ 7am this morning

Now...why am I frustrated? Cuz the dinner dose isnt the only one that needs to be changed! Shes high in the morning when she wakes up...for the last week she wakes up over 200 every morning and then shes high at all 3 meals! I keep screaming at myself because I want to change the dose myself but I know the doc has his reasons for doing what he's doing. I just hate her staying high all the time because it makes her feel so damn bad! She missed 2 days of school last week because she was in the high 300's and just wanted to stay in bed with a case of the "grumpies". So do I change the other meals 1:18 and see what happens and then tell the doc what I did.... or do I leave her like this and wait for the doc to do it? GRRRRRRR!

Oh yeah...and did I mention I always hated Math and now I see numbers in my freakin dreams!!

~*~Frustrated Mommy~*~

Mrs. H .... and some prayers needed!

Kacey & Mrs.H at the JDRF Walk to a Cure

She came out to support Kacey and walk with her!

Today got me thinking about how we take some things for granted.

When Kacey first went back to school in September, I was an overprotective mother that felt like she was leaving her newborn with a stranger. The first few weeks were rough...ok they were more than just rough! I nearly worried myself sick. I had the "No one can care for my child better than I can" attitude and I wasn't ready to let someone else take care of Kacey just 6 weeks after being diagnosed. So yes...I was picky...I was harsh....and over the last 2 months so many things have changed. After settling into a school routine, all of us were comfortable with the way things were going. I'd drive Kacey to school...she'd go test before lunch...go back for her shot but she'd call me to make sure her dose was right....and then she'd get her shot and go to class. It's been this routine for the last month now and things have been so smooth. I'm thankful that Mrs. H finally got the hang of figuring up Kaceys dose and shes now able to care for her the way I would....yep I said it... I know she loves Kacey dearly and she tells her all the time "I wish I had a granddaughter....can you be my adopted granddaughter?" and that makes me feel so good! I know shes cared for to the best of her ability and she'd never let anything intentionally happen to Kacey. So...all that being said...over the last 4 weeks Ive gotten very comfortable in that routine and I got a call from Mrs. H while we were home on our 5 day break. Her mother has taken a turn for the worse and she was going out of town. She called to let me know she was trying to get a sub nurse but no one was calling back and she didnt want me to walk into school and be hit with this. We get into school this morning...no RN at school. They couldnt get a sub nurse so one of the teachers is filling in for her. I've known the teacher since I was in high school so I quickly gave her a run-down of Kaceys level of care and since Kacey was running high (yep, shes still in the 200's!) I wasnt feeling upset at all. I told her I would be back up there at lunch so she didnt have to figure out Kaceys dose and Id make sure she got her shot. She was relieved!! So I went back up there for lunch....Kacey was at a 283...yep still high...and so I had lunch with her and came back home. While I was driving home, I realized how greatful I am to have Mrs. H. Yeah, it may have taken her a little longer to learn Kaceys care...but I miss her being there to take care of Kacey.

So Im asking everyone to please send up some prayers for her. She had to hop a plane yesterday and she will be gone the rest of the week. I know she is going to worry about things back here and I pray she doesnt. I want her to focus on the time she has left with her Mom and not worry about anything back here. I pray for her safe return and I pray that she's given the strength to deal with whatever comes.

Thanks!

~*~JILL~*~

Welcome our New President

CHANGE? Yes. Change for this country :) It was time for a change!