When Kacey was just a little over 2 years old, I was the "bad guy" and took her bottle away from her. Frankie and I fought constantly over whether this was the right decision or not because his Grandma let him have his bottle til he was ready to give it up, which happened to finally be when he was 7! Yes, 7 years old! I was disgusted by the thought of my baby having a bottle that long and so during the day I would make her drink from a sippy cup and at night she'd have a bottle for bed. Then I just replaced it with a sippy cup all together. Everyone parents differently and by no means am I bashing Moms who let their babies have bottles longer...it just wasn't for us. (Please no bad comments) In our search for sippy cups, we spent money on tons of cups to find the "right one" that wouldn't leak and was easy to wash. Thats when we found the Playtex Insulator. It was perfect for us! She had probably 10 cups and that didn't include the ones at Nae's house and Granny's house. LOL! Being the anal mommy that I am...her cup matched her outfits. Yes...I know....BAD! Maybe thats where she gets her "matching" analness (is that a word?) from...haha! Anyway, these cups went everywhere with us. They were dropped, they tumbled, they were thrown and never ever did we have problems with leaks. We LOVED them!
(I promise I will get to my point soon.....)
We finally found a drink that Kacey will drink for lows....GATORADE! She wouldn't drink it before because Gatorade brought back such bad memories of how sick she was before diagnosis. She was playing softball and she was downing the BIG bottles of Gatorade before a game and then not being able to make it through the game before she had to pee 3-4 times and then feeling sick at her stomach. This went on for a few weeks before diagnosis and then once she threw it up then she didn't want anything else to do with it. When she was diagnosed, she had these horrible thoughts about how Gatorade made her feel. She was sick....VERY sick. So when we were shopping the other day, we strolled the juice aisle, hoping to find something that sparked her interest and she she made the comment about Gatorade and asking to try it again. They now have the G2 which is low sugar (7 carbs per little bottle) so she chose that AND the high sugar one for lows. She ended up having her first low that same day and needed it....and.....IT WORKED! She drank it without being sugar sick and her low came right up!
Now to my point...
Last night, she went low during her sleep. She was only a 71 but she still had 1 unit of IOB and I knew she needed something but not much to bring her up. I opened a Gatorade and thought if I could get her to drink half of it then she'd be fine. I tried to wake her and she was really out of it. I put a straw in the bottle and tried to get her to drink. She was so dazed that she wouldn't drink. How do you all get your kids to drink during lows? I knew she was trying but it wasn't working. So I woke her up all the way for her to drink but she doesn't remember drinking.
Now I'm wondering if I need to go back to using a sippy cup? LOL! I worked so hard to finally take that stupid cup away from her and now I'm having thoughts of buying another one just to get her to drink.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
M-U-D!
OK...this wasn't funny when she first did it...but after she wouldn't stop rooting in the mud like a baby piglet, we couldn't help but laugh hysterically! This was the first time she'd been able to really "play" in mud and being the type of dog she is...you know how Labs LOVE water! We had to hose her off before we brought her in the house and actually gave her a bath. She smelled like marsh mud...blech!
Registration for Obedience classes is next Wednesday (April 7th) and classes start the same night. I'm looking forward to this :) The lady is letting me bring Kacey with me and she will be allowed to watch but since she is not an adult then I have to be the handler for now but we can bring her home and work with her and Kacey can be the handler. The lady said she'd rather us put Chloe in the Basic Obedience class instead of the Puppy class since she will be 4 months old. I sure hope it goes well!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Crazy Week
How do you spell insane? ......D-I-A-B-E-T-E-S!
The last week has been insane for me and I'm so ready to give in. It all started after dinner last Sunday evening. Kacey was a 116 for dinner...perfect! We'd had a fun filled day outside with my friend Jill and her kids and then we took Chloe for a walk so I was pleased with a 116. Just 42 minutes later....
A 40?!?! Where the hell did that come from?!?! She didn't catch this one....I DID! She ate her dinner and then layed down on the couch. I was getting the house cleaned up and I walked past her and asked her if she was ok? With slurred words she said, "I'm so tired". Sit up and test now! So she sat up and she immediately put her hands on her head and said she felt like she had bricks sitting on top her head and then she burst into tears. I grabbed her test kit and was shocked to see that 40 on the screen. I immediately recalculated her carbs. Yep, we dosed right! So THIS is what we get for an afternoon of playtime? DAMN DIABETES!
Cake icing! She was too tired to chew and so I used the icing to bring her up to a 149.
Ewwwwwwww! I HATE lows like these! Just 30 minutes later, she dropped to a 109. I had her test again before bed and she was a 112. OK, holding steady? Nope! Just 15 minutes later, she was a 64...15 more minutes....79. UGH! So we treated with Barbie gummies and some milk. By 9pm, she was up to a 177. Whew! I was still worried about her falling so an hour later I tested her again...390....WTF?!? So now we've overcorrected? This SUCKS! I spent the rest of the night trying to get her down.
The next day at school, she had lunch and she was an 89 before lunch. Sounds perfect, right? Nope! Just 45 minutes after lunch, she felt like she was going low again. She tested and she was a 116 with 6.5 units of IOB. SCARY! The nurse called me (thankfully I'm doing my long term sub job so I'm right down the hall) and I treated her with a pack of Goldfish crackers. She was already full from lunch so she didn't want to eat those. So 30 minutes later, she tested and she was a 86. Yikes! Still falling! So I had her eat 4 glucose tabs, in hopes that some of that would balance the IOB she had. Ummm...as soon as she ate them....she puked! Grrrrr! So now we didn't have any food in her tummy and still over 5 units of IOB. Blech! She threw up because she was so full and the sugar made her "sugar sick". Now what? She wouldn't drink soda or juice...she wasn't hungry...hmmmm? I finally convinced her to eat a fruit roll up. She ended up coming to sit in the classroom with me because there were kids in the nurse that were sick and I didn't want her around that illness if I could help it. She ended up eating about 30 pretzel sticks and another fruit roll up and came up to a 111 and then 15 minutes later she dropped to a 95 and in another 15 minutes she was a 71. BLECH!! I couldn't keep her blood sugar up to save my life. She finally had NO IOB and she was VERY tired. She came up to an 85 and then to a 137. At dinner....360! I guess all the sugar finally caught up with her :(
She ran high all night and at 2am Herbie said "BG over 500". I knew I was in for a long night and I was struggling because I was still battling a really bad cold that kicked my asthma into full gear. I was taking Nyquil so I could sleep and Frankie took the night shift. I had a fieldtrip with my class on Wednesday and I knew if I sent Kacey to school and she had the day she had the other day then we'd struggle. Sooooo...since Wednesday was Frankie's day off....and she woke up with a 373 (yuk!) ...she stayed home all day :) She ended up running low all day and dropping around 2pm to a 64. Frankie didn't call me and tell me because he didn't want me to worry while I was at work.
On Thursday, she was back to school but she ran high all night and dropped low all day. She doesn't understand why she feels so crappy and we're not sure why she keeps dropping like this. She's not feeling the lows til she's well into the 40's now.
On Friday, she had a fieldtrip and I had already arranged to go on the trip with her. She did fine and we made sure she was in range before we got off the bus to take the tour. She was a 258. Yep, high with excitement. I figured she'd be fine since it was 9am and we'd be eating at 12pm. At 11am, she was a 168. We were over halfway through the tour and she was feeling fine. At 12:30pm, we got on the bus for lunch since it was pouring rain. Kacey sat down and tested....52!! CRAP!!! It's a REALLY good thing that I was on the trip and her teacher was relieved that I was there. Just one more reason why I go on EVERY trip with her. So we treated and thankfully I had some extra snacks with us. When we got back to school at 1pm, she was a 109. She still had IOB and I wasn't sure which direction her sugar was going? I gave her all the extra snacks that I took with us and it's a good thing that I did! Just 30 minutes later, she was a 62!!! Then she ran high all night again.
By Saturday, I was ready for a MUCH needed break! I was STILL struggling with a lingering cold that had lasted 2 weeks already. I spent the morning doing some digital scrapbooking with a friend and then spent the evening with friends for dinner. We had more lows that afternoon but only in the 70's.
Yesterday, we took the girls to Busch Gardens for the first time this year. We've had seasons passes since they were little. My Mom gives us the passes for Christmas every year and we definately put them to use since it's only 30 minutes from us. We had a gorgeous day to go but diabetes decided to rear it's ugly head only an hour after we got there. She dropped to a 49 with NO warning! She wasn't even feeling the low :(
Today she did the same thing! Just an hour after arriving at school today, she dropped to ANOTHER 49! We treated and she came up to a 149 and then she stayed up the rest of the day.
The most frustrating things about all of this???? She's not showing any pattern except being high at night. We made some night time basal changes but we can't make any during the day because the lows are all over the place. I know they are not lows from miscalculations because I've been checking after her to make sure she's adding correctly. Her body is just doing some crazy stuff. We thought at first that it was because she was ovulating and we thought maybe that was causing her sick stomach but I'm not so sure that is what it is? Whatever it is....it's got me FRUSTRATED!!
So sorry I've been MIA around here and in chat. I'm STILL...yes STILL...battling this cold. I've got a terrible cough that wears me out and then after being with a classroom of 17 Kindergarteners...I'm just exhausted by the end of the day. I've taken an antibiotic....been on Nyquil/Dayquil for the last week...and I just got some Tylenol Cold & Cough so I hope that helps kick this crap! I've got loads of pics to share but I'll find time to load those soon. For now, I'll try and check in when I can. Frankie and I have both come to the conclusion....I'm DEFINATELY NOT ready to go back to work full time! My girls need me and this full time job is wearing on me....although that paycheck is gonna be nice :) I'm hoping to get a new camera since mine is really wearing out. It's hard for me to get everything done that I need to get done at home. Next week is Spring Break so I should have a little more time for updating.
Thanks to those of you that checked up on me!
The last week has been insane for me and I'm so ready to give in. It all started after dinner last Sunday evening. Kacey was a 116 for dinner...perfect! We'd had a fun filled day outside with my friend Jill and her kids and then we took Chloe for a walk so I was pleased with a 116. Just 42 minutes later....
A 40?!?! Where the hell did that come from?!?! She didn't catch this one....I DID! She ate her dinner and then layed down on the couch. I was getting the house cleaned up and I walked past her and asked her if she was ok? With slurred words she said, "I'm so tired". Sit up and test now! So she sat up and she immediately put her hands on her head and said she felt like she had bricks sitting on top her head and then she burst into tears. I grabbed her test kit and was shocked to see that 40 on the screen. I immediately recalculated her carbs. Yep, we dosed right! So THIS is what we get for an afternoon of playtime? DAMN DIABETES!
Cake icing! She was too tired to chew and so I used the icing to bring her up to a 149.
Ewwwwwwww! I HATE lows like these! Just 30 minutes later, she dropped to a 109. I had her test again before bed and she was a 112. OK, holding steady? Nope! Just 15 minutes later, she was a 64...15 more minutes....79. UGH! So we treated with Barbie gummies and some milk. By 9pm, she was up to a 177. Whew! I was still worried about her falling so an hour later I tested her again...390....WTF?!? So now we've overcorrected? This SUCKS! I spent the rest of the night trying to get her down.
The next day at school, she had lunch and she was an 89 before lunch. Sounds perfect, right? Nope! Just 45 minutes after lunch, she felt like she was going low again. She tested and she was a 116 with 6.5 units of IOB. SCARY! The nurse called me (thankfully I'm doing my long term sub job so I'm right down the hall) and I treated her with a pack of Goldfish crackers. She was already full from lunch so she didn't want to eat those. So 30 minutes later, she tested and she was a 86. Yikes! Still falling! So I had her eat 4 glucose tabs, in hopes that some of that would balance the IOB she had. Ummm...as soon as she ate them....she puked! Grrrrr! So now we didn't have any food in her tummy and still over 5 units of IOB. Blech! She threw up because she was so full and the sugar made her "sugar sick". Now what? She wouldn't drink soda or juice...she wasn't hungry...hmmmm? I finally convinced her to eat a fruit roll up. She ended up coming to sit in the classroom with me because there were kids in the nurse that were sick and I didn't want her around that illness if I could help it. She ended up eating about 30 pretzel sticks and another fruit roll up and came up to a 111 and then 15 minutes later she dropped to a 95 and in another 15 minutes she was a 71. BLECH!! I couldn't keep her blood sugar up to save my life. She finally had NO IOB and she was VERY tired. She came up to an 85 and then to a 137. At dinner....360! I guess all the sugar finally caught up with her :(
She ran high all night and at 2am Herbie said "BG over 500". I knew I was in for a long night and I was struggling because I was still battling a really bad cold that kicked my asthma into full gear. I was taking Nyquil so I could sleep and Frankie took the night shift. I had a fieldtrip with my class on Wednesday and I knew if I sent Kacey to school and she had the day she had the other day then we'd struggle. Sooooo...since Wednesday was Frankie's day off....and she woke up with a 373 (yuk!) ...she stayed home all day :) She ended up running low all day and dropping around 2pm to a 64. Frankie didn't call me and tell me because he didn't want me to worry while I was at work.
On Thursday, she was back to school but she ran high all night and dropped low all day. She doesn't understand why she feels so crappy and we're not sure why she keeps dropping like this. She's not feeling the lows til she's well into the 40's now.
On Friday, she had a fieldtrip and I had already arranged to go on the trip with her. She did fine and we made sure she was in range before we got off the bus to take the tour. She was a 258. Yep, high with excitement. I figured she'd be fine since it was 9am and we'd be eating at 12pm. At 11am, she was a 168. We were over halfway through the tour and she was feeling fine. At 12:30pm, we got on the bus for lunch since it was pouring rain. Kacey sat down and tested....52!! CRAP!!! It's a REALLY good thing that I was on the trip and her teacher was relieved that I was there. Just one more reason why I go on EVERY trip with her. So we treated and thankfully I had some extra snacks with us. When we got back to school at 1pm, she was a 109. She still had IOB and I wasn't sure which direction her sugar was going? I gave her all the extra snacks that I took with us and it's a good thing that I did! Just 30 minutes later, she was a 62!!! Then she ran high all night again.
By Saturday, I was ready for a MUCH needed break! I was STILL struggling with a lingering cold that had lasted 2 weeks already. I spent the morning doing some digital scrapbooking with a friend and then spent the evening with friends for dinner. We had more lows that afternoon but only in the 70's.
Yesterday, we took the girls to Busch Gardens for the first time this year. We've had seasons passes since they were little. My Mom gives us the passes for Christmas every year and we definately put them to use since it's only 30 minutes from us. We had a gorgeous day to go but diabetes decided to rear it's ugly head only an hour after we got there. She dropped to a 49 with NO warning! She wasn't even feeling the low :(
Today she did the same thing! Just an hour after arriving at school today, she dropped to ANOTHER 49! We treated and she came up to a 149 and then she stayed up the rest of the day.
The most frustrating things about all of this???? She's not showing any pattern except being high at night. We made some night time basal changes but we can't make any during the day because the lows are all over the place. I know they are not lows from miscalculations because I've been checking after her to make sure she's adding correctly. Her body is just doing some crazy stuff. We thought at first that it was because she was ovulating and we thought maybe that was causing her sick stomach but I'm not so sure that is what it is? Whatever it is....it's got me FRUSTRATED!!
So sorry I've been MIA around here and in chat. I'm STILL...yes STILL...battling this cold. I've got a terrible cough that wears me out and then after being with a classroom of 17 Kindergarteners...I'm just exhausted by the end of the day. I've taken an antibiotic....been on Nyquil/Dayquil for the last week...and I just got some Tylenol Cold & Cough so I hope that helps kick this crap! I've got loads of pics to share but I'll find time to load those soon. For now, I'll try and check in when I can. Frankie and I have both come to the conclusion....I'm DEFINATELY NOT ready to go back to work full time! My girls need me and this full time job is wearing on me....although that paycheck is gonna be nice :) I'm hoping to get a new camera since mine is really wearing out. It's hard for me to get everything done that I need to get done at home. Next week is Spring Break so I should have a little more time for updating.
Thanks to those of you that checked up on me!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
May the luck of the Irish be with each and every one of you today!
No chance in Kacey being pinched today! She went to school dressed in green...complete with a shamrock pump pack that my Mom made her. Cara~ we could never thank you enough for getting her those first 2 packs. My mom has been able to make her over 50 different pump packs, including ones for holidays, and Kacey has set quite a "trend" at school. Those girls look for "new" packs when they see Kacey and they think it's "cool"! Yeah...so having diabetes isn't cool but you can still make a fashion statement! She just got 3 new packs....shamrocks, Easter eggs and spring flowers. She's worn the Easter one and it's not even Easter yet! :)
No chance in Kacey being pinched today! She went to school dressed in green...complete with a shamrock pump pack that my Mom made her. Cara~ we could never thank you enough for getting her those first 2 packs. My mom has been able to make her over 50 different pump packs, including ones for holidays, and Kacey has set quite a "trend" at school. Those girls look for "new" packs when they see Kacey and they think it's "cool"! Yeah...so having diabetes isn't cool but you can still make a fashion statement! She just got 3 new packs....shamrocks, Easter eggs and spring flowers. She's worn the Easter one and it's not even Easter yet! :)
Friday, March 12, 2010
Pic Favs
As I was scrolling back through old pictures to use for Kacey's birthday post, I found some of my favs! These were taken before I had a digital camera and I was experimenting with black & white film. I've always been interested in photography.
I'm excited to do an update on Kayleigh's schedule and reveal some great news! Yep, probably 3 posts in one day...record for me! For those of you on my Facebook....Hurricane Jill did hit the high school and did some "minor" damage before being downgraded to a Tropical Storm ;) I'll explain more about what happened and the emails soon!
For now.... here are the pics :)
Kacey looking into the birdbath (2002)
I'm excited to do an update on Kayleigh's schedule and reveal some great news! Yep, probably 3 posts in one day...record for me! For those of you on my Facebook....Hurricane Jill did hit the high school and did some "minor" damage before being downgraded to a Tropical Storm ;) I'll explain more about what happened and the emails soon!
For now.... here are the pics :)
Kacey looking into the birdbath (2002)
We were actively involved in church and Kacey was praying here (2002)
LOL....this is a REAL fav of mine! She used to always put her hands up to her mouth whenever someone said "Uh-oh!" and she happened to fall and she put her hands up to say "Uh-oh!" and I snapped the pic. She's got that lil devil look ;) Hahaha....showing her true side!
AGAIN? Really? C'mon!
That title was my reaction when I got Kacey's diagnosis yesterday! BTW, she was NOT happy that I was trying to take her pic in the doctor's office when she was feeling bad. LOL!
I had called and got her an appointment for 1:15pm since her symptoms had seemed to worsen through the night and I'm glad I did because by mid-morning, she was complaining of serious aches and pains. She could hardly talk and her appetite had decreased to only wanting sugar free Jello-o and cheese sticks. When Kacey isn't hungry then I know SOMETHING is wrong!
It's sad that I ended up stressing myself over the "cost" that I was about to face. I knew the doctor visit was $78 right from the start! Then add the labs on top of that and then the cost of antibiotics was going to send me for a loop. I keep counting down....3 more weeks!
So when we got there, the receptionist asked me if everything was up to date and then began to list...phone number, address, insurance....eek! red flag! So I told her that the insurance had changed and I had the cards but they were not effective til April 1st. She told me they couldn't copy them til they were effective BUT since it was a self-pay visit, I got 50% off if I paid everything in full. W-O-W! Ok...so that cut the visit to $39 from the beginning. I knew they were going to want a urine sample since she was having blood sugars over 400. So instead of waiting in the waiting room, we went right to the bathroom and did that. We got called back immediately after and as we walked down the hall, this eerie feeling fell over me. We stopped right at the doorway to a room and it took me a moment to get myself together. This was the exact same room that Kacey was diagnosed in! Of all the times we've been to the doctor in the last 2 years, we'd not been on this hall til now. My eyes welled up with tears and I asked the nurse to please excuse my emotion. Kacey spoke up and said, "I remember this room. This is where Dr. M told me I had diabetes." The nurse then knew why I was so overwhelmed. She took Kacey's vitals, all good. The nurse left out and it was an awkward silence. I looked at Kacey as she layed down on the bed. She was feeling just as crappy as she was that day she was diagnosed. Her blood sugars were high, she was sick and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it! As a parent, one of the worse feelings you can feel is "helpless". I can try as hard as I want to be her pancreas but one day I'm going to have to accept that I'm not her pancreas and it's not my fault when her numbers go crazy. So...Dr. G comes in and she's the wife of our regular doc, Dr. M. We love her just as much as we do him. She patted me on the back and said she'd heard I was a little upset. Yeah, just a little! She examined Kacey and during that time, I explained the insurance situation to her and asked her if they did samples for antibiotics? She was very sympathetic over the situation and knows that we aren't new patients and she said she'd "fix us right up!" Kacey's diagnosis....Strep throat.....AGAIN? Really? C'mon! You've gotta be kiddin me?!?! She JUST got over strep! :( And as usual...she could of picked this up anywhere!
She left out and about 10 minutes later, she came back in with our paper and a precription for Amoxicillan. She said the last few times that Kacey has been sick, she's been put on Zithromax and they needed to change it up. She told me to take that prescription to Walmart where it would only cost me $4 and then she winked!! O-M-G! I was expecting to pay over $100 for meds. So when we got to the front desk, my total.... $45 for the visit (including the rapid culture and urine sample) and then $4 for meds! The sigh of relief hit me and I ended up crying on the way to Walmart.
Once again, my prayers were answered. Ask and you shall receive. (Wendy, I still think of you with this)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Sick Again....REALLY?
C'mon now! I've gotta figure out what the hell is causing this illness for Kacey? She can't seem to get her immune system strong enough before it decides to plummet again. She just had strep a few weeks ago. She was sick on Monday with a sore throat and high sugars. She felt better on Tuesday and then at 11am, the nurse called me to come get her because she was sick at her stomach and her sugars were 300's again. I picked her up and she rested all afternoon. She felt better yesterday morning and went to school. Then at 2:30pm, the nurse called me and said she had run high all day and she wasn't feeling well again. She had a 100.3 fever but when we got home, I checked her and there was no fever. She's complaining of a sore throat, body aches, stuffy nose, a small cough and just feeling tired. Do the 2am check....454....CRAP! She got up at 3am and she was crying with her throat. OK....flashlight check....nope, it's just red. So I get her settled out on the couch so I can keep an eye on her. Get her up at 6am and she's crying again that she doesn't feel good. So I'm keeping her home. This is where my dilemma comes in. I called the doctor and explained her symptoms. Yes, they need to see her. I made the appointment for 1:15pm and then I explained the insurance situation. She told me that I could make payments for the visit and if I explain things to the doctor then they might be able to help with samples if she needs meds. Ugh! Once again, it's a pain in the ass that we have to deal with this! April 1st can't get here soon enough :( For now, she's sound asleep on the couch and thats where I'm leaving her! I'll update once we get back home.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Happy 1st Birthday Herbie
It's so hard to believe that a year has passed so fast! This time, one year ago, Herbie arrived at our house in a bright colored Cozmo box. It was instant friendship and a bond that I knew we were not going to break. Just 2 weeks after Herbie arrived, we got the announcement that Cozmo was going under. We tried to convince her to send him back but there was NO way she was parting with her new "bodyguard". I'm glad we kept him! Herbie has made life so much easier for Kacey. It allowed her the freedom that she'd lost the prior 9 months. She was very responsible and independent with her diabetes from the very beginning and having Herbie was no different. The only time she wants my hands on him is when she's low or during the middle of the night. I remember having these feelings about "I don't want my child being connected to something all the time." ...."Will it hinder her life?" ...."Will it get in the way?"....so many things ran through my head as a parent and now....the pump is the best decision we ever made! Herbie is just like another body part to her. She doesn't mind being "connected" and she actually feels like something is wrong when she's not connected.
So today we say....HAPPY BIRTHDAY HERBIE! :) We love you!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
To My Birthday Girl
Ten years ago today, was a very scary and very happy moment in my life! I planned you, I wanted you and I couldn't wait to finally meet you! I'd been through a very rough pregnancy, complete with going into early labor at just 6 months pregnant. Dr. S was able to keep you inside and on March 8, 2000 at 10:59pm, you were born! You came into this world with a struggle. I patiently awaited your cry after you came out and I heard nothing. It was silent. I kept turning to Daddy and asking if you were ok and no one would answer me. Then...I heard it...a faint squeak. It wasn't a cry but I knew you were alive! I cried tears of joy as I heard another squeak. You were placed into your Daddy's arms first and then he handed you over to me. We only got to hold you for about 5-10min before you were rushed off to the nursery for observation. I couldn't understand what was going on because when Kayleigh was born they didn't do that. It wasn't until the nurse came back in with poloroid pictures of you that I understood. The nurse spoke softly and calmly to me and explained that they took those pictures of you because they were not sure if you'd make it through the night. I cried for hours and begged to go to the nursery to see you but they wouldn't let me get up. You see, I'd fought for my own life that night as well. So I was being watched closely too. Dr. S came back in to see me and he held a prayer circle before he left that night. He said a Higher Power was guiding his hand and he had to save me before he could save you and you were VERY lucky to be alive! The next morning, they brought you to me and you opened your eyes and looked at me like you'd known me forever. You weighed 7lbs. 13oz, 20.5in long and you had 10 fingers and 10 toes! You had the prettiest color :) Dr. O, your pediatrician, came in to talk to us and she explained that you were without oxygen for so long that they were not sure how much brain damage was done and they wouldn't know until you were 2. I knew in my heart you'd be perfect! By the time you were two, you were above level on developmental milestones, but you developed febrile seizures. It was another very scary time for us. They assured us it wasn't from your birth and they were fluke happenings. You only had 2 of them and by the time you were 4, you were so above level and already reading some words. By the time you got to 1st grade, you were reading on a 3rd-4th grade level and you continued to thrive and be a bright spot in my day. You have a silly sense of humor and you always turn a negative into a positive. That dreaded day came in 2nd grade, your diabetes diagnosis. I was thrown back 8 years to your birth. You fought so hard to live and you were fighting all over again! You took your diagnosis with such ease. I could not imagine being 8 years old and giving myself shots and pricking my finger. And now, here were are, 2 years later and you're finally in those double digits...10 years old! You've come a long way in 2 years! You continue to amaze me at how brave and at ease you are. You continue to educate those around you on a daily basis and I know you're going to do great things when you grow up. You're a fighter and you're my hero! You show those around you how to LIVE with diabetes and I know you have rough days, you're allowed to! God gave you to us for a reason and He has purpose for you. He had a chance to take you 3 times and He wasn't ready for you. You have not fulfilled the purpose He has for you yet. What that purpose is yet, we don't know...but we're very excited to watch you fulfill it! You've said you want to be a "Diabetes Nurse" (CDE) when you grow up and I know you have the heart and compassion to be a wonderful nurse.
My dear precious baby girl, my wish for you is that you never stop believing in yourself and may you complete everything you put your mind to!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY "MOOTSIE"!!!
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Unwanted Insurance Stress
***Warning Vent***
It's been 12 hours since my "outburst" so I think I'm safe to finally post. I don't think I could have handled posting this last night.
As many of you know, Frankie started his new job on Feb 1st. Prior to switching jobs, I had this panic about insurance switches and I was assured "things would be fine." Switching jobs is never "just fine" when you have a child with a chronic illness. I asked him to find out WHEN the insurance would kick in so I would know what kind of lapse we were looking at, if any? He asked and the reply he got from the main boss, "Well, I'm not sure because I don't have the insurance through here." Hmmm...ok so put him in contact with someone who knows, right? Two days pass and on that Wed, I ask AGAIN, you found out anymore on the insurance? His reply, "They said I'd get the papers in the mail." THEY? Who the f#$% is THEY? Grrrrrr! I want a REAL answer. Get me a number I can call and find out! So about 3 weeks after he had been working there, he came home from work and handed me 2 ink pens with the company logo (he knows I have a fetish for a good writing pen) and he said the boss man gave him 2 new hats too! He was all smiles til I asked, "So what did you find out about this damn insurance?" He said, "Well I talked to one person that said 90 days and two others that said 30 days." OK....I was cleaning the kitchen and it was at this point I'd just picked up the tin foil to put it away when he dropped the bomb on me. I threw the box against the back door and screamed, "90 DAYS?!?!?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE F#$% THAT MEANS? DO YOU HAVE A CLUE?!?!?" I was so upset and literally fell apart. What did this mean? I went into a panic! I knew we had enough supplies to last about a month. I wasn't sure when our other insurance would lapse so I called in her insulin and test strips. It was too soon to fill the test strips but they filled the insulin. The co-pay was our normal co-pay. In the meantime, the following week he finally got me the number to someone I could talk to about switching insurance. I called and spoke to the Benefits people. The lady was very nice and understanding but "nice and understanding" isn't really gonna help when you're gonna have a lapse in coverage. She explained that we'd be able to get coverage til Frankie had been there for 30 days....Mar 1st. Ummm ok, we'd be fine since I had enough insulin and strips. So March 1st rolls around and I called them back. He's able to get his benefits BUT now we have to wait til April 1st for them to be available. WTF?!?!?! So THIS is why I've cried for the last few days....been so stressed the last few weeks...and worry what life is gonna bring us. If we elected Cobra coverage it would be $1500 a month. Thats F%$#!&* ROBBERY!!! There is no way we could afford that. Kacey has 3 bottles of insulin left in the fridge and plenty of pump supplies so we're covered there. BUT now we're down to 100 test strips! I called to get her strips filled and the lady said ....$527 please. WHAT?!?! So the insurance has officially lapsed! What the hell do we do when she's testing 10-12 times a day and dropping low 2-3 times a day? I contatced her CDE and explained that we no longer have coverage and we NEED help! She is going to give us 100 strips to help. So now, I guess we will either have to buy them over the counter or we will use all the extra meters that came with strips.
As a parent, I'm SCARED! I can honestly say I am! I've not told anyone about this because I don't want the "pity" factor. But I've gotta vent these feelings or I'm gonna need meds for myself soon! I'm scared because I don't know what's in store for us. We've just gotta make it thru the next 4 weeks! It's really sad when you say to yourself "Does she really need to test now?" just to save a strip and try and ration them. It's scary to think about the lows and retesting 15min later and then think to yourself "Well thats another strip and now we're down to 2 bottles." I HATE THIS FEELING! I hate being scared of the unknown. I don't even wanna think about her getting sick in the next month WITHOUT insurance! My biggest fear....a lapse in coverage...has happened. I've made myself sick thinking about it and Frankie keeps saying "Jill, it's not as bad as you're making it out to be. If she needs strips, we'll buy some over the counter." HE DOESN'T GET IT!!!!
So, several of you are wondering my lack of blogging....my lack of posting....my plain old lack of....now you know! Lemme tell you....I can honestly understand the phrase...."Stress will kill you!" Stress is some awful stuff and I'll just be counting the days til Apr 1st! Having a child with a chronic illness is bad enough and then you add the worry about being able to keep your child safe and alive adds a while new element! I can feel the pain for those that live with diabetes and don't have insurance. Sad part for us, Frankie makes too much to qualify for any assistance. Yep! That's right! We live in a house that was built in 1964, both driving older paid off vehicles, no credit cards, no other loans except the house and we live as frugally as we can.....and we can't get help! The systems SUCKS! If we quit our jobs and layed on our asses watching TV all day then we'd get money for food and all our medical paid for. Something is wrong with that picture? So my husband continues to work every day and bust his ass so some lazy ass bum can sit on their ass and watch TV! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
If you made it this far, thanks for listening :(
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Low & Snow
Monday afternoon brought on another scary low! This time....a 46.
It was 15 min til time for school to end. Kacey went to the bathroom and when she was about to walk out, she was hit the the double vision again. One of her friends had come into the bathroom and Kacey was sitting on the floor in the bathroom testing her blood sugar. She was a 46...dizzy....sweating....had the headache....and knew she needed help! She wasn't with it enough to reach for her glucose tabs but her friend K knew she needed help fast. She helped Kacey get up and got her out in the hall. Kacey's other friend, C, was in the hall too and went running to Kacey's class to let Mrs. L know that Kacey was low again. Thankfully the nurse is only 4 doors down from Kacey's classroom and the bathroom is right across the hall from her class so she didn't have to go very far.
She got in the nurse, and was able to get help to treat herself. She came up to a 157 in 15min and she felt better but she was extremely exhausted. I clocked out and brought her home. When she got home, all she wanted to do was lay down. I was so scared she'd drop again so I had her eat dinner. I didn't think she'd drop again after eating....but she did! She came down to a 73 so I had her treat with more glucose tabs instead of eating more food. I was hoping that we'd be able to have that ice cream. By bedtime, she'd started to come around and was actually smiling. Bedtime blood sugar....105! YES!!! TAKE THAT DIABETES! She was able to have that ice cream :) and we even put some whipped cream, nuts and a few sprinkles on top ;)
It was 15 min til time for school to end. Kacey went to the bathroom and when she was about to walk out, she was hit the the double vision again. One of her friends had come into the bathroom and Kacey was sitting on the floor in the bathroom testing her blood sugar. She was a 46...dizzy....sweating....had the headache....and knew she needed help! She wasn't with it enough to reach for her glucose tabs but her friend K knew she needed help fast. She helped Kacey get up and got her out in the hall. Kacey's other friend, C, was in the hall too and went running to Kacey's class to let Mrs. L know that Kacey was low again. Thankfully the nurse is only 4 doors down from Kacey's classroom and the bathroom is right across the hall from her class so she didn't have to go very far.
She got in the nurse, and was able to get help to treat herself. She came up to a 157 in 15min and she felt better but she was extremely exhausted. I clocked out and brought her home. When she got home, all she wanted to do was lay down. I was so scared she'd drop again so I had her eat dinner. I didn't think she'd drop again after eating....but she did! She came down to a 73 so I had her treat with more glucose tabs instead of eating more food. I was hoping that we'd be able to have that ice cream. By bedtime, she'd started to come around and was actually smiling. Bedtime blood sugar....105! YES!!! TAKE THAT DIABETES! She was able to have that ice cream :) and we even put some whipped cream, nuts and a few sprinkles on top ;)
Virginia was hit with a Nor'easter again last night! I went to sleep at 9pm last night and there was nothing on the ground. When I got up this morning, everything was WHITE! This time it came in the form of snow. As much as I hate snow, I'm thankful it wasn't the flooding water that we had last time. I took Chloe out in the snow for the first time this morning and ended up laughing so hysterically that I thought I'd wet my pants standing there. She looked like an oversized rabbit hopping around the front yard. Only a week and a half ago, her feet touched the grass for the first time. So this was ALL new to her! She LOVED it! She's doing SO good :) She learned the command "sit" in just one week! She's also learned if she goes potty outside then when she comes in, she's asked to "sit" and she gets a treat. She's started doing it without command the last 2 days. She runs in and immediately sits down. AMAZING!
HAPPY 3 MONTH BIRTHDAY CHLOE!!!
I'm just floored at how smart she is already. She still stays glued to Kacey and she's still doing great with going potty outside! :) She's also learned what the bathtub is....WATER! We heard a crash the other day and she'd run in the bathroom and jumped right in the tub and knocked down the shampoo & conditioner. I yelled "No!" and she sat and just stared up at me. It's too bad I didn't have my camera in my pocket...LOL...it was priceless!!
Such is the life in the West house! :)
Monday, March 1, 2010
Diabetic Meltdown
Once again, I had to miss out on the fun of chat. I'm so bummed!! :( It seems like something always happens and I can't have time to myself to just sit and chat.
I decided to get my bath at dinner time (yeah wrong move but I was REALLY needing a bubble bath ALONE! I'll explain more about the stress once I am able to blog about it.) and Kacey figured up her carbs on her own. This is something she does and has done since she was diagnosed. Usually she has me going behind her and totalling to make sure she's right. She's ALWAYS right. So what made me think last night would be any different? She can total carbs....she's fine! I'd done her site change before dinner. She was in million dollar real estate so I knew she'd have some good numbers showing up....especially since I'd popped the top on a new bottle of insulin. When it was time for bedtime snack, she tested and was mad to find a 379 looking back at her. WTF?!?! Where did that come from? She didn't have a high carb meal that would spike her like that. I scrolled back through her pump....Ummm.....31 dinner carbs? She had a MSF Chik patty on a bun with mayo and a snack bag of chips.... 20 + 16 + 15 = 51 .... what happened??? SHE FORGOT THE BUN!!!! She had an instant meltdown. I mean....BIG tears and crying hysterically! This one was one of the worst yet.
WHY? Why was she so upset?
Diabetes had won :( For once she made a mistake....her body paid the price...and now she wasn't going to be able to eat the new ice cream she had picked out. Why did I feel so guilty? I should have counted behind her. I shouldn't have made her do it herself and then she wouldn't of made the mistake. I tossed around the idea of saying "F*#% YOU Diabetes!" and doing a heavy correction and letting her have the ice cream but then I'd feel worse if she went really high then. So we all made her a deal....NONE of us would have the new ice cream until she was able to have some too. Kayleigh felt really bad for her and she kept telling her that she would have the same low carb snack because she wouldn't eat something in front of her. After lots of talking and even more tears, we got her settled down and we all ate cheese sticks and peanuts for snack.
After she'd settled herself, I sat back down with her and asked her WHY she was so upset? Her response....Because I made a mistake and made my blood sugar go high. UGH! She was blaming herself for the high and it was NOT because I'd told her she couldn't have the ice cream. She's too freaking young to have to deal with this and I was having a "FU D" moment. I explained that it was ok to have mistakes but from now on we just need to make sure we count everything on her plate and I told her I'd help her total so she didn't have to do it. She looked at me and replied, "It's ok Mom, I really can do it." Ahhhhhhh! Give her responsibility and then try and take it back and she gets offended. So I told her I'd just do it secretly to make sure she was right like I've been doing and we could do a High-5 if she got it right. Whew!
Sorry for missing most of chat again :(
I decided to get my bath at dinner time (yeah wrong move but I was REALLY needing a bubble bath ALONE! I'll explain more about the stress once I am able to blog about it.) and Kacey figured up her carbs on her own. This is something she does and has done since she was diagnosed. Usually she has me going behind her and totalling to make sure she's right. She's ALWAYS right. So what made me think last night would be any different? She can total carbs....she's fine! I'd done her site change before dinner. She was in million dollar real estate so I knew she'd have some good numbers showing up....especially since I'd popped the top on a new bottle of insulin. When it was time for bedtime snack, she tested and was mad to find a 379 looking back at her. WTF?!?! Where did that come from? She didn't have a high carb meal that would spike her like that. I scrolled back through her pump....Ummm.....31 dinner carbs? She had a MSF Chik patty on a bun with mayo and a snack bag of chips.... 20 + 16 + 15 = 51 .... what happened??? SHE FORGOT THE BUN!!!! She had an instant meltdown. I mean....BIG tears and crying hysterically! This one was one of the worst yet.
WHY? Why was she so upset?
Diabetes had won :( For once she made a mistake....her body paid the price...and now she wasn't going to be able to eat the new ice cream she had picked out. Why did I feel so guilty? I should have counted behind her. I shouldn't have made her do it herself and then she wouldn't of made the mistake. I tossed around the idea of saying "F*#% YOU Diabetes!" and doing a heavy correction and letting her have the ice cream but then I'd feel worse if she went really high then. So we all made her a deal....NONE of us would have the new ice cream until she was able to have some too. Kayleigh felt really bad for her and she kept telling her that she would have the same low carb snack because she wouldn't eat something in front of her. After lots of talking and even more tears, we got her settled down and we all ate cheese sticks and peanuts for snack.
After she'd settled herself, I sat back down with her and asked her WHY she was so upset? Her response....Because I made a mistake and made my blood sugar go high. UGH! She was blaming herself for the high and it was NOT because I'd told her she couldn't have the ice cream. She's too freaking young to have to deal with this and I was having a "FU D" moment. I explained that it was ok to have mistakes but from now on we just need to make sure we count everything on her plate and I told her I'd help her total so she didn't have to do it. She looked at me and replied, "It's ok Mom, I really can do it." Ahhhhhhh! Give her responsibility and then try and take it back and she gets offended. So I told her I'd just do it secretly to make sure she was right like I've been doing and we could do a High-5 if she got it right. Whew!
Sorry for missing most of chat again :(
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