It's been 12 hours since my "outburst" so I think I'm safe to finally post. I don't think I could have handled posting this last night.
As many of you know, Frankie started his new job on Feb 1st. Prior to switching jobs, I had this panic about insurance switches and I was assured "things would be fine." Switching jobs is never "just fine" when you have a child with a chronic illness. I asked him to find out WHEN the insurance would kick in so I would know what kind of lapse we were looking at, if any? He asked and the reply he got from the main boss, "Well, I'm not sure because I don't have the insurance through here." Hmmm...ok so put him in contact with someone who knows, right? Two days pass and on that Wed, I ask AGAIN, you found out anymore on the insurance? His reply, "They said I'd get the papers in the mail." THEY? Who the f#$% is THEY? Grrrrrr! I want a REAL answer. Get me a number I can call and find out! So about 3 weeks after he had been working there, he came home from work and handed me 2 ink pens with the company logo (he knows I have a fetish for a good writing pen) and he said the boss man gave him 2 new hats too! He was all smiles til I asked, "So what did you find out about this damn insurance?" He said, "Well I talked to one person that said 90 days and two others that said 30 days." OK....I was cleaning the kitchen and it was at this point I'd just picked up the tin foil to put it away when he dropped the bomb on me. I threw the box against the back door and screamed, "90 DAYS?!?!?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE F#$% THAT MEANS? DO YOU HAVE A CLUE?!?!?" I was so upset and literally fell apart. What did this mean? I went into a panic! I knew we had enough supplies to last about a month. I wasn't sure when our other insurance would lapse so I called in her insulin and test strips. It was too soon to fill the test strips but they filled the insulin. The co-pay was our normal co-pay. In the meantime, the following week he finally got me the number to someone I could talk to about switching insurance. I called and spoke to the Benefits people. The lady was very nice and understanding but "nice and understanding" isn't really gonna help when you're gonna have a lapse in coverage. She explained that we'd be able to get coverage til Frankie had been there for 30 days....Mar 1st. Ummm ok, we'd be fine since I had enough insulin and strips. So March 1st rolls around and I called them back. He's able to get his benefits BUT now we have to wait til April 1st for them to be available. WTF?!?!?! So THIS is why I've cried for the last few days....been so stressed the last few weeks...and worry what life is gonna bring us. If we elected Cobra coverage it would be $1500 a month. Thats F%$#!&* ROBBERY!!! There is no way we could afford that. Kacey has 3 bottles of insulin left in the fridge and plenty of pump supplies so we're covered there. BUT now we're down to 100 test strips! I called to get her strips filled and the lady said ....$527 please. WHAT?!?! So the insurance has officially lapsed! What the hell do we do when she's testing 10-12 times a day and dropping low 2-3 times a day? I contatced her CDE and explained that we no longer have coverage and we NEED help! She is going to give us 100 strips to help. So now, I guess we will either have to buy them over the counter or we will use all the extra meters that came with strips.
As a parent, I'm SCARED! I can honestly say I am! I've not told anyone about this because I don't want the "pity" factor. But I've gotta vent these feelings or I'm gonna need meds for myself soon! I'm scared because I don't know what's in store for us. We've just gotta make it thru the next 4 weeks! It's really sad when you say to yourself "Does she really need to test now?" just to save a strip and try and ration them. It's scary to think about the lows and retesting 15min later and then think to yourself "Well thats another strip and now we're down to 2 bottles." I HATE THIS FEELING! I hate being scared of the unknown. I don't even wanna think about her getting sick in the next month WITHOUT insurance! My biggest fear....a lapse in coverage...has happened. I've made myself sick thinking about it and Frankie keeps saying "Jill, it's not as bad as you're making it out to be. If she needs strips, we'll buy some over the counter." HE DOESN'T GET IT!!!!
So, several of you are wondering my lack of blogging....my lack of posting....my plain old lack of....now you know! Lemme tell you....I can honestly understand the phrase...."Stress will kill you!" Stress is some awful stuff and I'll just be counting the days til Apr 1st! Having a child with a chronic illness is bad enough and then you add the worry about being able to keep your child safe and alive adds a while new element! I can feel the pain for those that live with diabetes and don't have insurance. Sad part for us, Frankie makes too much to qualify for any assistance. Yep! That's right! We live in a house that was built in 1964, both driving older paid off vehicles, no credit cards, no other loans except the house and we live as frugally as we can.....and we can't get help! The systems SUCKS! If we quit our jobs and layed on our asses watching TV all day then we'd get money for food and all our medical paid for. Something is wrong with that picture? So my husband continues to work every day and bust his ass so some lazy ass bum can sit on their ass and watch TV! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
If you made it this far, thanks for listening :(