Monday, March 1, 2010

Diabetic Meltdown

Once again, I had to miss out on the fun of chat. I'm so bummed!! :( It seems like something always happens and I can't have time to myself to just sit and chat.

I decided to get my bath at dinner time (yeah wrong move but I was REALLY needing a bubble bath ALONE! I'll explain more about the stress once I am able to blog about it.) and Kacey figured up her carbs on her own. This is something she does and has done since she was diagnosed. Usually she has me going behind her and totalling to make sure she's right. She's ALWAYS right. So what made me think last night would be any different? She can total carbs....she's fine! I'd done her site change before dinner. She was in million dollar real estate so I knew she'd have some good numbers showing up....especially since I'd popped the top on a new bottle of insulin. When it was time for bedtime snack, she tested and was mad to find a 379 looking back at her. WTF?!?! Where did that come from? She didn't have a high carb meal that would spike her like that. I scrolled back through her pump....Ummm.....31 dinner carbs? She had a MSF Chik patty on a bun with mayo and a snack bag of chips.... 20 + 16 + 15 = 51 .... what happened??? SHE FORGOT THE BUN!!!! She had an instant meltdown. I mean....BIG tears and crying hysterically! This one was one of the worst yet.

WHY? Why was she so upset?

Diabetes had won :( For once she made a mistake....her body paid the price...and now she wasn't going to be able to eat the new ice cream she had picked out. Why did I feel so guilty? I should have counted behind her. I shouldn't have made her do it herself and then she wouldn't of made the mistake. I tossed around the idea of saying "F*#% YOU Diabetes!" and doing a heavy correction and letting her have the ice cream but then I'd feel worse if she went really high then. So we all made her a deal....NONE of us would have the new ice cream until she was able to have some too. Kayleigh felt really bad for her and she kept telling her that she would have the same low carb snack because she wouldn't eat something in front of her. After lots of talking and even more tears, we got her settled down and we all ate cheese sticks and peanuts for snack.

After she'd settled herself, I sat back down with her and asked her WHY she was so upset? Her response....Because I made a mistake and made my blood sugar go high. UGH! She was blaming herself for the high and it was NOT because I'd told her she couldn't have the ice cream. She's too freaking young to have to deal with this and I was having a "FU D" moment. I explained that it was ok to have mistakes but from now on we just need to make sure we count everything on her plate and I told her I'd help her total so she didn't have to do it. She looked at me and replied, "It's ok Mom, I really can do it." Ahhhhhhh! Give her responsibility and then try and take it back and she gets offended. So I told her I'd just do it secretly to make sure she was right like I've been doing and we could do a High-5 if she got it right. Whew!

Sorry for missing most of chat again :(


Hannah said...

Jill, I'm sorry I didn't get to "meet" you in chat last night. Sounds like you had quite the night.

I hope today's a much better day! You handled things with such grace and I really admire that. It's not always easy.

Donna said...

Jill - sounds like you all handled it well. I can only imagine what she must have been feeling! Such a sweet little girl you have!

Amy said...

((HUGS)) Sweet Kacey....she DOES a great job taking care of herself, so I can only imagine how hard that must have been for her. :(

Good job mom! You did great!

Meri said...

Ummm sweet didn't get it right once? And you have gotten it right like a bazillion times? That is still an A+.

Kacey is amazing, NO ONE is perfect. There will be more mistakes coming. It's all part of the mix.

Wendy said...

Hugs to all of you!!!!

Kacey, you're doing an amazing job!!! All of us in Blogville are SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!

And your mommy ROCKS. Make sure you tell her I said so...okay?

Tracy said...

We definitely all make mistakes. We just have to correct and move on. No sense in getting too upset about them.

Kacey, I am very proud with how you take care of yourself! It is ok to make a mistake occasionally, we all do it!

Hugs to you all!

Renata Porter said...

I think it's awesome that she pays that close attention. The reality, a high is not the end of the world. Especially as she goes through's gunna get whacky with no explanation. It sounds to me like she had a great learning of many...and she came out of it looking like a champ and even better, she got to see just how much her family had her back.

bwids said...

Happy family

bwids said...

Happy Family

bwids said...
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