Pumped Up and Knocked Out!

I got a call today from Kacey's CDE. I had called this morning to ask what kind of OTC meds I could give Kacey because she's got a terrible runny nose :( She told me I could use any of them *gasp* Ok...I was under the impression that she couldn't take the ones OTC cuz they have sugar in them. She explained that she could have them...we needed to test 3hrs after she takes them...and if she continues to run high then she'd need a correction.

Then she goes on to tell me a rep from Medtronics came by the office with paperwork that we filled out to get Kacey a pump...WTF?!?! Uhhhhhh NO! I explained to her that I'd been researching pumps trying to be proactive...we'd chosen to go with the MiniMed since everyone we know has one and it was well liked...so I went to the website and saw that they would sent me info about the pump to read and I took advantage of it. A rep called me a few days later to ask me if I got the info and what I thought. I told him that I was pleased with what I saw...enjoyed the DVD that came with the info...and was looking forward to Kacey going on the pump! So he asked if he could send me the forms to fill out so I could find out how much my insurance covered. Well....sure! I thought to myself...well at least Im being proactive and I will know what sort of out of pocket costs we will have to pay when we finally get the green light for the pump. Ummmm well I thought wrong! The CDE got sorta short with me and told me that Kacey would NOT be a candidate for the pump until she got through her honeymoon (however long that is!) and then after that she'd have to get the ok from her Endo. Once we got the ok from him then we'd have to attend a pump class where we are shown 4 different models of pumps and then we get to talk to all the reps from each one....we take an hour....decide which one we want....and then Kacey will be given a "trial" set to be worn for 3 days and then we go back to the doc and they file the paperwork! OK....my question is this....if she knew all that then how come when we went to our appt last Monday, the CNP couldnt tell us that?!?! I was really upset by this point! Once again, I explained to her I was being proactive and doing my research as a parent and choosing what is best for MY child. The paperwork we filled out was so we could find out how much we'd have to pay since we are a ONE income family and I dont wanna be smacked in the face with a bill for $3000 if our insurance will only cover 1/2 the pump. And....as of today....we still dont know WTF they cover.....grrrrrrrrrrrr!

So I guess Im a bit disappointed now. I was really hoping to be able to go thru everything (classes, etc) and then once she was ready for the pump we could just do it...but it doesnt look like thats gonna happen ~sigh~

Now...about this honeymoon...
When you look up the definition of honeymoon it says :

Definition:
[n] the early usually calm and harmonious period of a relationship; business or political

LOL...ok so for the record....this is NOT a calm and harmonious period...and it is something I wish would end!! Why in the hell would they call this time a honeymoon? It should be called "The diabetes hellish roller coaster period"!! For now I can only hope and pray this cold Kacey has will kick her out of her honeymoon (since we were told in the hospital that usually once they get sick for the first time it will kick them out and her sugars will stay up...thus ending the honeymoon and increasing the need for more insulin) Not sure how Im gonna break the news to Kacey. Think its easiest to just tell her she cant have the pump til she gets out of her honeymoon. So hopefully by our 6mo appt...she will be out of her honeymoon...and when we see her doc (since we havent seen him since she was diagnosed in the hospital in July) then we'll be ready for it! ~fingers crossed~

Until later....
~*~JILL~*~

It Sucks Being "High"

Today was a rough day! When Kacey woke up this morning, I knew we were in for a rocky road! I can usually tell when I gently shake her to wake up if its going to be a good day or a bad day...lol! If I shake her and she grumbles and pulls on the covers then I need to put on my protective gear cuz Im in for a battle! If I shake her and she smiles and sits up right away then I know we're in for a good day with no tears. Well...this morning...she grumbled! I told her we needed to "see how sweet she was" (a term Ive used from the first time she tested) and she snapped at me and shouted "Im NOT doing it!" and I told her that she HAD to and she stuck her finger out and said "NO! You do it!" *giggles* OK...so I did it and she came up a 132...good number for waking up... hmmmm so then why so grumpy? Slowly she got up...got dressed...and it took her 20min to decide what she wanted for breakfast! On our way to school, she says "Mom, I dont feel too good!" Ohhhhh great...here we go! So I assured her that once she got to school with her friends then she'd be fine. We pull in the parking lot... "Mommmm I really dont feel good! I think I need to test!" So I get her kit out...test her...189. Hmmm...weird! But I knew it would be up since she just ate an hour earlier. We walked into school and she still insisted she didnt feel good and now had a headache. Since they are doing placement testing, I told her to go for the test and if she felt bad then call me. I figured by the time she was done the test, it would be snacktime and she'd be feeling better. I left and went to Walmart to do some grocery shopping...on my way back I didnt take my usual route...and I guess there was a reason why...lol! My cell rings.... "Nurse's Office"... oh geesh! I answer... Hello? ... "Hi Jill, It's Joanie" ***heart sinks*** "Hi There!" ... "I think you might want to come and get Kacey. She's not feeling well and still has the stomach ache and headache. She's just not herself." ...By this point Im passing the school...LOL! So I zipped in and when I got there I was greeted by a non-smiling tummy holding little girl that said she just wanted to go to bed. Oh boy! She was grumpy! So I asked her if she tested...Yes Mom!...133. Geesh....ummm ok...she'd just eaten her snack and was at a 133 with no shot... could she have been low? I dunno...but her body was doing some pretty weird things! So I took her home...got her in bed and comfy with a movie...and then unloaded the groceries that Id forgotten I got! ~sigh~ By the time I got everything put away, it was lunchtime! Test again... 195... wtf? OK this is weird!! So she eats lunch...still has a tummy ache...but its not like a sick tummy...its a hurt. It frustrates me because I dont know what that pain is...I dont know what her "diabetes" hurts feel like! OK... treat the high...give the food dose...and she goes to lay back down. She was going thru a "clingy" hour...she wanted me to be near her...which isnt normal for her! Was she scared? Was she feeling out of control? Was she just wanting that feeling of security? Whatever the reason...I stayed by her side :) By 3pm it was time to test again..."Mom, can you please do my test? I just dont feel like doing it!" ~cry~ She had this look on her face like she was completely drained. Even though I had that same feeling...I smiled and told her I didnt mind doing it for her! Test....beep....BEEP... 316! WTF?!?! Where the hell did that come from? She didnt eat anything at lunch that would make her spike...she got 3 units...and 3 hours later she was HIGH! She looks at me and says "Well now I know why I dont feel good!" So could this have been coming on all along? Could she have "felt" this high early on? Was this a result of her runny nose? I dunno...so many questions and absolutely NO answers! I must admit....DIABETES SUCKS! She wanted to go out for a bike ride....WHAT? A bike ride? Geesh...one minute shes laying down with a BS of 133 and the next shes asking to go outside with a BS of 316! So I told her we would ride down the driveway to get the mail but that was it because I wasnt sure what her body was doing. Well...4pm rolls around...test....257! Still high but coming down. So 5pm...test again... 190 :) we're getting there! The headache is gone...stomach ache is gone...and she's reading Judy Moody...hahaha shes feeling better! Judy Moody....thats what I should call her when her BS go high!!! So here we are at 7pm....test....187. OK so at least its not too far from her range of 80-180...but it could be better! For now...shes feeling better and shes a 187...so I'll take that as we're doing good! LOL...but tomorrow is a new day!

On a good note, Kayleigh just called me and they won their game against the rival school ... 2-1!!! She sounded so excited! I wish we could have been there but with Kacey not feeling well, I wasnt gonna take the chance on being at a game that is 45min from home. She understood why we couldnt be there and was fine with it :) She did text me when she was leaving to give me some pretty exciting news though! She was asked to the Homecoming Dance... **shocked face**... I took a deep breath and asked "Who?" and she told me WHO it was! I quietly did a "Happy Mommy" dance because this boy has liked her for the last 3 years and she's never looked at him anymore than "just friends" or "like a brother" ... and he got up the nerve to ask her and she said YES! How exciting!!!! This will be her first dance that she's gone with anyone. Her 8th grade dance she chose to go with a group of friends so she could dance with who she wanted and ended up dancing with a group the whole night. So this time is a little different! He's a super kid tho :) I really like him and I actually liked him when I first met him! When he replied with "No mam"... "Yes mam" and "No thank you" ... Ummmm OMG a boy with manners?!?! Those are few and far between these days! He and Kayleigh text all the time and theres rarely a night without a text that says "Goodnight ILY" ...which I think it just so sweet! The other day he sent her one that said "If I havent told you ILY today...then I do!" Too cute!! So anyway...we will be off dress shopping :) Im really thinking that I need to take her...just me and her...and leave Kacey with Frankie. I havent had much alone time with Kay recently because all my time is spent caring for "The big D" and so this might be just the time we needed! Ahhhh.... Homecoming.....brings back memories :) Good times!

On that note...Im gonna head out :) Kay will be home soon...Kacey needs a bath....and I need some rest!

Til tomorrow....
~*~JILL~*~

Photography

Fall Mums on my porch

I've always had a love for photography. From taking family pics...taking pics of every precious moment I could capture on film...to taking pics of blooming flowers and scenery. Last week a friend of mine came up to Kayleigh's hockey game and was telling me about a class she was taking. She tried to get me to join her in a photography group a while back and then listening to her talk about this class got me all excited about taking pics again. So I grabbed my camera and spent some time outside today. I took the pic above of the potted Mums my Mom gave me. The color makes me feel all warm and fuzzy :D I can surely feel fall in the air! So....Im thinking about getting back into taking some cool shots and see where they lead! (Thanks Rachael! LOL)

Hilarious Moments

There are some days that Kacey's humor keeps me in stitches and there are two moments recently that stick out.

When I took her for her check up last week, we pulled into the parking lot and this is how the conversation went:

Kacey: Mommy I know we're in the right spot.

Me: Oh yeah? How do you know that?

Kacey: Because that sign says "Childrens Hospital of the Kings Daughters Health & Sugary Center" **see above pic**

Me: stifles the giggles Yep! We're in the right spot then!

OMG... it really said Health & Surgery Center ...hahaha! But we were definately in the right spot!

~~~~~~

Just a few minutes ago, Frankie tucked Kacey in bed and they were saying their nighttime prayers. I was standing in the doorway quietly bowing my head while they prayed. Frankie got to the end of the prayer and Kacey says "Daddy I have one more prayer." and I just knew it was going to be something about a cure and he says "Ok then, you pray" and she says "Dear God, please remind Daddy to brush his teeth before bed because his breath stinks...Amen!" OMFGGGG! I had to leave out of the doorway and run to the other side of the house because I nearly pissed my pants laughing!!! I laughed and told him...we've always taught the girls... "Honesty is the best policy"

hysterically giggles

So with that...Im going to bed!

Sweet Dreams!

~*~JILL~*~

Undefeated

Pic taken by Rachael Trudell

I sat here thinking today about how most of my posts here focus on our daily struggles with Kacey's diabetes and I don't really talk about my oldest daughter, Kayleigh, very often. So today I'm going to talk about her :)

Kayleigh will be 14 in 9 more days. I can't believe than in just 4 more years she will be graduated...off to the college of her choice....and persuing her plans of being a Pastry Chef/Cake Decorator. It seems that just yesterday she came into this world...6 weeks early...but a healthy weight of 6lbs 12oz and absolutely perfect! I remember days of holding her and wondering if I'd be a good Mom...if she'd grow up with everything she wanted....could I give her what she wanted...and would she be the happiest child she could be. Looking back over the times in her life that I questioned myself...I can honestly say I've given her all she needed and she IS the happiest she could be! She's made me so proud and I really couldn't ask anymore from her. She's so open and honest with me and I hope things always stay that way!

Being 14 years old in 2008 is MUCH different than being 14 years old in 1989 (when I was 14). The pressure that is placed on kids now by peers and teachers is so heavy and I know the last person that should be pressuring her is me...but if I don't pressure her to stay in control of her life then I have that overwhelming fear that she will spiral out of control and make some silly mistakes I made. Not calling getting pregnant at 18 a mistake...by no means was she ever a mistake...but some of the choices I made weren't smart. I know she knows "my story" and how I didn't make some of the smartest choices and I know she'll make her own decisions reguardless of the mistakes I made...but I do want her to have the ability to "pause" for that split second and think about the consequences if she does make those decisions. I look around at the friends she has...nearly all of them being A-B honor roll. She doesnt hang with a bad crowd so she's chosen her friends wisely. She studies hard and has kept her grades on Honor Roll since 4th grade. She's played hockey for the last 3 years and she's found her place in the defense position...and might I add....shes damn good! (and Im not just saying that because Im her Mom) She gives 100% in whatever she does. So what more can I ask for? Nothing. Not a thing. She's giving me 100% and balancing school, sports, chores, friends and still smiling!

Over the last 2 months, the emotions of Kacey's diagnosis have weighed heavy on us all. Tempers flare. Tears flow. But in the end we all still smile...or we at least try to! Right after we came home from the hospital, I remember rushing around the house with my Super Mom cape flapping in the wind...trying to get all the daily chores done...the pressure of not being able to catch up on things because I felt like I'd just come home from the hospital with a newborn baby...and I remember getting upset with her because I just wanted her to do what I asked her without hearing "Why doesnt Kacey have to help?" or rolling her eyes...and it didnt hit me until later on that I really do expect alot out of her. So for the last few weeks, Ive given her the space to slack a bit on chores and such. We've all slacked on chores the last few weeks! She really took Kacey's diagnosis hard and I really didn't give her any time to open up about her feelings about it all until later that night. The first night we were in the hospital, she sat up with me while Kacey and Frankie slept and when the clock finally turned 3am, I let her slide up in the hospital bed with Kacey to try and get some rest. She was so scared she'd hurt her sister and before she got in the bed she opened up and started to cry. She was scared her sister would die. She was concerned about how we'd deal with it. She was scared of the needles. She was scared they'd hurt her sister. There were so many things swirling around in her head...and being older I guess I expected her to handle it the way we did....but inside she was still that scared little girl. Even now...there are times that she will fight with Kacey to no end...but other times when she calls me to let me know shes at hockey practice and she will ask "Hows Kacey feeling?". Ahhh the joys of Sisterly Love.

So...in the end...I know she will continue to make me proud and is growing into a beautiful young lady.

~*~Proud Mumma~*~

Yep, She Made the Tooth Fairy Cry..twice!

Kacey lost another tooth yesterday. This time...a molar. I kept thinking she was done losing teeth but apparently shes not...LOL shes still got several more to go! So she puts the tooth under her pillow (yep...at 8 she still believes) and I tip-toed in her room around 11pm to find her stretched out and looking so peaceful. I stood there for a few moments...and the tears began to flow. From the outside, she looks so healthy. Her little chubby cheeks...her plump belly...her breathing normal...my little angel :) yet inside...shes sick :( by looking at her you'd never know that 2 months ago she was so sick. I stroked my hand down her face to feel how warm she was...pulled the covers back over her...and quietly slipped a note with a crisp $5 bill under her pillow.

"Dear Kacey,
You're doing a great job! Keep it up!

Love,
The Tooth Fairy"

When she woke up, the first thing she did was slide her hand under her pillow and she pulled out the neatly folded note. As she opened it she smiled and then she looked up with me and she handed me the $5 bill. I said "You want me to hold it til we go to the store?" and with tears in her eyes and said "No Mommy, please put it with the money for a cure." There was no way I could fight back the tears! How could I? Here is my child giving me her tooth fairy money to find her a cure. Talk about feeling hopeless! So I told her I'd match it...give her $5 back to her...and she could buy herself something special ;) ~sigh~ So not only did she make me cry last night...she made me cry again this morning!

Mommy is in Control....or is She?

Kacey had an EXCELLENT day! The plan that we worked out was a good one! I think we finally figured out how to manage things at school...lol...it only took us 3 weeks! She went to test at 12:30pm and then went to lunch with her friends (without Mom) and then she went back to the nurse to get her shot at 12:50pm. At 12:55pm my phone rings...

Kacey: Hi Mommy!

Me: Hi Sweetie! How was your sugar for lunch?

Kacey: It was a 112!

Me: Thats great! Did you figure up your dose?

Kacey: I sure did! I get 2 units cuz I didnt need a correction dose and I already got my shot and Im going back to class. See you this afternoon

Me: OK I love you!

Kacey: Love you too Mommy! Bye!

Me: Bye!

*sighs heavy*

She went to the nurse...figured up her dose...called me to recheck....and went on her merry way! I talked to the nurse this afternoon and she told me that Kacey told her we practiced over the weekend and she was shocked when Kacey figured it all up herself *smiles* So I think we've solved the issue we were having *wink* And...I gave Kacey a bit of her independence back doing it! So it worked out for everyone! I did explain to Kacey that if there were days she didnt feel like figuring it out then all she had to do was call me before the shot and Id make sure it was done right! She said she still wanted to call me everyday to make sure she was getting it right anyway! I agreed that was a good idea :)

This afternoon went a bit wacky! Frankie got home early from work so he went with me to pick Kacey up and then we came back home since Kay was still at hockey practice. Kacey got her homework done and went in her room to play while I cleaned up the house and Frankie did a few things outside. I decided that I was going to leave Kacey at the house while I went to pick Kay up from practice. Not even 5 miles up the road, my phone rings....

Me: Yes Dear?

Kacey: Hi Mommy!

Me: Oh Hey Baby! I thought it was Daddy.

Kacey: I just tested and Im low!

Me: HOW LOW?

Kacey: Its only a 78 but Daddy said to call you so he knows what to do *giggles*

Me: Did you tell Daddy what to do? (by this point I can tell Im on speaker phone)

Kacey: I did but he said "Call your Momma and make sure!"

Me: OK...well go on and eat dinner and I'll be home soon

Frankie: So its ok to feed her?

Me: LOL Yes feed her! You have to bring her up!

Frankie: OK bye!

Me: Bye!

5 minutes later....

Me: Hello?

Frankie: I got her dinner but do I have to give her a shot?

Me: Yes...if its over 30 carbs!

Frankie: OK...let me figure this up *pause* 52 carbs ... so she needs a shot then?

Me: Thats over 30, right? *giggles*

Frankie: Yes... ok bye!

Me: Bye!

2 minutes later....

Me: *giggles* Hello?

Frankie: I gave her the shot and she didnt cry *sounds proud*

Me: Thats great! I knew you could do it!

Frankie: OK see you in a little bit!

Me: Bye!

LOL...so I think everyone is hitting milestones around here today :) I got back home thinking I still had dinner to do...then girls had homework....we all needed baths...and the thought overwhelmed me! When I got home I walked into a house where dinner was made...dishes were washed...and Kacey was taken care of! Wowwww! Talk about a sigh of relief! So I ate dinner and heard Frankie call me from the other room. I went in there and my bath water was already run!!! OMGGGGG! I wanted to ask why he was buttering me up...but I figured Id save an argument ...haha! I heard him tell the girls NOT to knock on the bathroom door for anything because Mommy needed a break! *grin* So either "stress" was written across my face or he finally woke up to see that I was really needing some down time! I took 30 min and just relaxed...not thinking about a single thing... ok well maybe I did think about something...hahaha...but I wasnt in any hurry to rush back out to life!

Id say it was a great day with lots of progress! So thats great news :)

Til tomorrow....

~*~JILL~*~

Test Strips DO Grow Legs!

Hmmm....OK I had to giggle when I walked in the bathroom earlier! I'd just read a blog online yesterday that made me laugh because it was about test strips showing up in the funniest places...and I kept thinking OMG how does that happen? When we test Kacey at home, I do everything at the table and I put all the used supplies in a milk jug and put the top on so theres really no way that the little strip can grow legs and end up anywhere else....BOY WAS I WRONG! ***see the pics below***

Miley...what do you have under that paw?

OMGGGGGGGG! A test strip!!!

Hahaha dont ask me how she got it or where she found it but she was having a fun time batting it around the bathroom floor! LOL and she was mad when I took it from her and trashed it!

So...thats proof...no matter how careful you are about getting supplies into the trash...those damn test strips DO grow legs! Hahaha!

~*~JILL~*~