*Diabetes Sweeties*

Smith's Medical/Cozmo,
If you happen to read this after you get the box with Herbie in it and find my blog address, please know that the following pictures show the process from Herbie to Goober. It's been a very emotional week for my daughter Kacey. The pump that you got back was her very first insulin pump. He holds SOOOO much sentimental value for her. I know that there will never be another Cozmo pump made and in March 2012 all warranties will be out of date. Herbie cannot be fixed. He cannot be used as a pump for her anymore. He's no use to anyone but he's a VERY important part of Kacey's life. Her best friend. I don't know what happens to those broken pumps that you get back? I don't know if you pop them open and take out the insides for other pumps? But what I do know is....if there is anyway possible to get Herbie back...we'd LOVE to have him! He can't be hooked back up and used as a pump but he can be placed on her shelf as a forever friend. I know some people think we've probably gone insane and lost our marbles because we made Herbie a "person" but when you have a young child trying to accept life with diabetes, you do what you need to do to make it through daily life. You can keep the computer part of him if that is what you need. She won't ever know that is missing out of him. So I ask you to please consider this. We'll forever be greatful!

Thank you so much!
Jill ~ Mom to Kacey
Getting the package and opening it up...holding Goober for the first time.

The reality hits! She knows that it won't be long and she has to disconnect her best friend :( My heart ached for her!

Comparing Goober to Herbie...two pumps...identical...but two different sentimental values!

Goober vs. Herbie

Time to say goodbye...yes...I finally had to pry Herbie from her hands. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do as a Mommy. She was sooooo connected to Herbie and it broke my heart to have to take him from her.

Herbie's crack ...LOL I did make Kacey giggle when I said I needed to take pictures of "Herbie's crack"

Delivery stopped...it felt like Herbie's heart had stopped :(

He's officially gone :( Pump stopped and cartridge was unloaded.

A few hours later, she'd finally settled down and started finding a new found friendship for Goober. No, he wasn't a "Herbie" but he was walking in the same shoes and keeping her alive and for that...we're VERY thankful!

Poor Chloe didn't know what was going on and she was so upset that Kacey was crying. Kacey reassuring her that she was ok :)

Today was a better day. The basal changes we made have kept her in 90's-100's except for one low of 62 this afternoon. She only cried once and that was when we moved the box Herbie was in. We haven't boxed him up to send him back yet but that is happening on Monday. So I'm not looking forward to it!

Some other news... Last week, I took Kacey to see her regular doctor because she was having trouble straightening her arm out. As far as I knew, she hadn't hurt it by a fall or accident. The day we left for vacation, she woke up and she said she couldn't straighten out her arm. I passed it off as "Ohhh well you probably slept wrong on it." and I gave her some Motrin. The whole time we were on vacation, she complained. So when we got back, I made her an appointment. When I took her in, it had her doc puzzled. He said he wasn't sure what was going on and he sent us for xrays. The next morning, I got a call from the nurse that said "There was no fracture or break but a spot on the bone was noted and an appointment with orthopedics needed to be made." I felt like I could puke! I called them back and made the appointment with the same doctor that Kacey saw when she broke her arm. She loved him! So last Thurs, we went to see him. He looked at the xrays and examined her arm. He said the tightness in her arm was most likely bicep tendonitis from some sort of injury she had but didn't tell me. She's got a very high pain tolerance so who knows when she hurt it. So then he said "Now...about this spot" I got a lump in my throat. He said he was very concerned about it. If she was 80 yrs old then he wouldnt be so concerned but he said he didn't like the look of the spot. So he walked over to Kacey and pressed on her arm where the spot was showing and she came up off of the table in pain. He shook his head and said "yep, we need it checked asap". I asked him what "that spot" meant? And he handed Kacey a copy of the xrays to distract her and he turned to me and said "we just need to rule out any kind of cancer or abnormalities". RULE OUT WHAT?!?! That C-word swirled around my brain like a Kansas tornado! So then he explained the process of a MRI to Kacey and explained that there was a possibility she might have an IV of dye that would show up the spot and so they could see why she was hurting so bad. Kacey was surprisingly calm and the whole time I wanted to bust into tears but I had to hold it together so I didn't scare her. It's been a week since that appointment and its been a LONG FREAKIN WEEK! Between that and then the stuff with Herbie, I've just wanted to crawl under the covers and not come out :( but then who would I be hurting? My girls! So I've stayed strong...I've NOT announced any of this on Facebook...I've only told Frankie, my Mom and my best friend about it because I didn't want Frankie's family thinking that Kacey was on her death bed like they did when she was diagnosed. I don't want anyone to know anything until I know what exactly "that spot" is. So why did I blurt it out here? Because this is my blog and I can't keep these feelings bottled up! I have this blog to vent and open up and I NEED IT or else I'm going to need some form of medication to get through this....which BTW, probably wouldn't be a bad idea! So we go Monday at 3:45pm for the MRI.

Then...yesterday we got some pretty freaking amazing news! I checked email around lunchtime and there was an email from Kay's guidance councelor in there. I opened it and it was asking for her to call her councelor as soon as possible about her schedule. UGH! Great! So Kay called her and she asked Kay if she was still interested in taking Culinary 2? Remember, Kay had dropped it because of the teacher. She was going to take Photography, Banking & Finance and Business Management in place of that Culinary class. So Kay paused for a moment and she said they got a new Culinary teacher and wanted to offer the class back to Kay. You would have thought Publishers Clearinghouse had just showed up with a million dollar check for her! She started jumping around and screaming and ultimately said OMGGGG YESSSSSSS!!!!! So, Kay WILL be able to finish her 2yr Culinary degree :) THANK YOU GOD FOR ANSWERING OUR PRAYERS!!!! Kay has been so sad about not being able to complete her program because of a teacher conflict. Hopefully whoever is taking over the class can catch these kids up and they can actually LEARN something this year!!! :)

So there ya have it! Long overdue feelings out in the open. If you made it to the bottom, thanks for reading! Sorry for being long winded but I've had so much bottled up that I had to let it out or I was going to explode.

Luv y'all!