Ugh! I'm really struggling here!
Kacey started with a sore throat yesterday evening. I thought maybe it was just the change in weather and the pouring rain. At 2am this morning, she was awake when I got up to do her sugar check. She was crying that her throat hurt more. I figured giving her some Motrin would be the safest thing to do since she wasn't having any other symptoms. Before I did that, I did a sugar check... 205. Wow! So I gave her a correction, a glass of ice water and some Motrin and she went back to sleep. At 6am, she was a 146. Not bad...but not too great. Hmmm could she be getting sick? By 9am she was a 207...ugh! Correct again. Then by 12pm...231...yikes! By now, Herbie had decided to bungee jump twice ...AGAIN! Kacey had some blood around where the cannula goes in and it's only been 2 days into her new change. After she ate lunch, she was fussing about it being sore. Instead of letting her continue to fuss, we just did the site change and got it over with. She layed down on the couch...had a major case of the "grumpies"...and watched TV for a bit. By 3pm, she was atill a 234. Grrrr! So we did another correction and she ended up going out to ride her bike. I called her in at 5pm to eat dinner and she was a 127 when she tested. She ate and then we went for a walk since the weather was gorgeous. As we were walking, she said she was feeling really low and so we stopped to test.... 95! We ended up coming home and she got a shower. After her shower....107?!?! She's very hoarse and she still has a sore throat. So now I'm wondering if she's got the start of a cold :( Her blood sugars were all over the place today and I hate it!
I've been really exhausted this last week. The 2am checks are killing me! I go to bed around 10-11pm and then by the time I'm in a really deep sleep, the alarm goes off. Once I get up to check her, I'm wide awake and its between 3-4am by the time I can go back to sleep and then the alarm goes off at 6am for us to get up for school. I asked Frankie to help me but I know he has to go to work and it's hard for him too. But then again, I always work....even if it's not substituting....I'm Mom, Wife, Cook, Laundry Lady, Maid, Taxi, Volunteer, Nurse, AVON Lady not to mention the ultimate exhausting job of trying to be Kacey's Pancreas. I'M WORN OUT! I know I'm trying to do too much. I have this horrible feeling that a cold is headed my way as well. Everytime I get like this, I end up getting sick. I've tried to reason with Frankie and tell him I will do weekly checks and he can do weekends and sleep in. So far that hasn't worked! I'm not sure how to justify that I DO work too and my job is just as exhausting not to mention 100 times more stressful! I don't have just one job! I don't go to work and come home to a wife thats cleaned the house, volunteered/substituted at school all day, cooked dinner for the kids, made sure that homework is done right and checked, logged all the blood sugars for the day, washed the dishes, washed-dried-folded all the landry, paid all the bills and balanced the checkbook and then on top of that made a seperate dinner so it's hot....yet Frankie does. Yep, call me crazy...have I spoiled him that much? Nah he was spoiled long before I married him! LOL...and for now I will continue to sing Kelly Clarkson's new song "My Life Would Suck Without You" and spend my days as the sleep-deprived toomanymorejobstolist Mommy. LOL! Dammit! Where is my Super Mom cape?!?! **Yawn** I'll settle for my pillow :)
BTW, I'm going to end with tears streaming down my face. Kacey just walked in with a mug and said "Mommy, I made you some hot chocolate because you take such good care of me." (***cries harder***) Just like her...she's feeling sick and she thinks about me :) I think she knows I'm feeling overwhelmed! When I'm old and gray and can no longer get around, I know in my heart she will be the one to take care of me!
I'm off to sit with her and sip my hot chocolate. Goodnight!
God, thank you for blessing me with such caring children. Please watch over them and keep them safe. I pray for better numbers for Kacey and pray that we catch this cold before it gets any worse. I also pray that you give my hubby a swift kick in the butt and help him understand how overwhelmed I am right now. Give me the wisdom to explain how I'm feeling without blowing up at him and give me the strength to make it through many more sleepless nights. I'd also like to thank you for laying your hand on my Mom through her surgery and helping her feel so much better. Thank you for blessing me with many online friends and support. Thank you for your continued blessings. Amen
6 comments:
I hear ya! I'm the only parent that does "D" over night too...just because I work PT in an office people assume I should take all the responsibility because afterall...I ONLY work PT. Ugh.It is frustrating, especially when the alarm clock goes off multiple times a night to keep our children HEALTHY. Vent away, you feel better when you do!
Just think, now you have a pump and can work with temp basals for illness! And,by the way....those numbers are pretty "good" for a sick day! ((HUGS))
Michael and I both work, but he gets up and does all the overnight checks. Of course, I have to wake him up, then he yells the number down the hall and I tell him what to do about it. So, I still wake up, but don't actually have to get up out of bed.
I am very greatful that he does that. But, we've talked about it before and decided it's only fair because I do everything else related to D. I do all of the logging and basals changes as well as all of the site changes.
Kacey must be an amazing kid because she has an amazing example... You!
I am lucky that my husband does all the night checks. He knows that I have a tough time getting back to sleep when I get up (it usually takes me anywhere from 1 to 2 hours), plus he says I'm with her all day long and I need a break from all the D stuff. I still wake up though, but the not having to get up is nice.
NIGHT SHIFT ROLL CALL -- WENDY??? Check!
I'm here!!
We have a deal that Jason will take care of D on the weekends, but it doesn't always work out that way...
LOL you are so not alone!!!! I usually am the one that does all night duties. Adam is a heavy sleeper so it's easier for me to get up rather than try to get him up. By then, I'm already awake! But I do get to sleep in as long as I want on Sundays.
Between Tristan and Connor, I get woken up quite a lot at night. I'm so sleep deprive that my body is just use to it now LOL
As for Kacey being sick possibly I feel you there too. Tristan yesterday started a fever, bad cough, high blood sugar and to top it off.... ketones!!!
Hang in there :) Try not to get sick and remember, because you are supermom you will be ok. If you need help with Frankie, let me know, I will hold him down for you LOL :)
Hugs Jill!! This life can be so hard! Well life in general is hard and you throw diabetes into it and it just really complicates things. Know that there are so many of us who relate and can sympathize. Sometimes that can help a little. Kacey is a sweetheart. What a little sweetie. HUGS again!
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