Frustration is getting the best of me and I need to vent.
I've really been put to the test this last week. Between Kacey being sick, the scare of a possible celiac diagnosis and then the loss of Henry, I've hit a brick wall. I know I'm being overly sensative right now but I need help understanding Kacey a bit more.
Since she was sick, she's been having temper tantrums. It's nothing we've ever been through with her before. Even when she was going through the "terrible 2's" she wasn't like this! I've been really easy on her until today. She's been experiencing some low blood sugars at mealtimes. I've tried rounding to the lower end when it's time for her dose but she's still dropping. It's nothing below 70 but it seems that when she goes between 70-90 she starts to get very irritable and cranky.... Almost like a 2yr old does and then when I ask her to test or to do something she throws this little temper fit and its even to the point where she kicks her feet or throws her hands. I HATE the fact that I always have to ask myself "Is this diabetes causing this or is it just a fit?" I feel like I can't discipline her because I know she's been sick, I know it could be the lows but at the same time I don't want her thinking she can throw a temper tantrum and use diabetes as an excuse! (kids are smart like that!) Every single time I asked her to test today she kicked her feet and yelled back "I don't want to!!!" and every single time I got the meter and walked over to her and calmly but firmly said "Either you do it or I WILL!" and she'd take the meter and test and every time she did it she was LOW! So what do I do? Do I pass this off as her just being grumpy because she's low?
I'm going to suggest a Lantus change tomorrow when I fax blood sugars. She's dropping several times a day and I know thats what needs to be done. I'm just frustrated that this disease is playing a trick on me and I can't figure out how to deal with it!
Any suggestions?
8 comments:
This is tough, Jill. With Jada being 3, we often don't know if it's her personality and age acting out or if she's got a low blood sugar. To me it seems that you are doing the right thing by acting matter of factly and taking her blood sugar. I try to do that with Jada and if she's low or dropping fast (it seems that she can be at 90 and act like she's at 50!)I treat it- if she's not, then I discipline accordingly.:) Maybe, when she's having a good day, it would be an opportune time to sit and talk with her about her fits and make a plan of action with her or to inform her (lovingly) of how you'll handle situations in the future. I wonder if some of it is just the stress of living with this disease and she's trying to figure out a way to cope with it. I'm so glad you vented and my heart is hurting for you and Kacey. I hate this disease because it's not just physical- it plays with your mind in some serious ways. Hang in there and keep your chin up! You are doing a great job of encouraging Kacey!
Of course all us parents struggle with this same thing and our D kids! I must say, having Diabetes myself I can tell you that when you feel low or are low, you ARE irritable and sometimes the Diabetes demons come out. You honestly "cant" help it. Imagine yourself cruising along and suddenly the life is being sucked out of you. Maybe you are crashing fast and hard......sometimes it DOES feel that bad. It really isn't an excuse, its the truth.
As long as you make sure you talk about the outbursts after, it wont become a problem. We really dont mean to do it! :)
You've had a terrible week...
Lord, Please bless this mother. Please comfort her, help clear her mind and bless her with the mental clarity she needs to be a mother AND cope with diabetes - even when she's tired and worn down. Please give her the strength and wisdom to cope with these situations. Amen
Hang in there...tomorrow is a new day!
I get more cranky when I'm low... so it's possible that's what is causing it. It's frustrating to be dependent on people.
When I was first diagnosed as a six year old... I developed "headaches." My mom took me in to the doctor, and after a while, they finally said, "she has created a physical symptom for an invisible disease." Kacey might just be angry about having diabetes, and when she's a little low, it comes out.
Not sure that really helps.... just some thoughts.
If it is happening when she is low she could also be scared about it. It is very scary feeling when you are shaking, you feel like you are going to pass out etc. Even as an adult sometimes I get scared when I go low. It feels like I am going to die. She might be feeling that and doesn't know how to verbalize it. Sit down and talk to her and ask her what is going through her mind when she is low. If you have to check into keeping glucagon kits in the house as well, that might make her feel safer knowing that there is a quick shot that can bring her blood sugar up in a hurry.
Oh I understand your dilemma. I have the same issues with Tristan. I find it very hard to discipline him because I'm never sure if it's blood sugar related or him being a brat. I feel that when I wait to discipline to check blood sugar that my methods are not as effective. I feel like I can't be consistent.
It's very frustrating! But I think that you are handling the situation quite well! :)
Jill,
sorry about your cat. Glad it's no Celiac, but yuck on the Flu part.
My husband will swear up and down that diabetes is to blame for most of our daughters behavior. (I disagree) Especially when she misbehaves. He says the kid's chemicals are imbalanced because of her body's inability to produce insulin causing her to go up and down in numbers and having no way to control that has to make her just feel horrible inside and that she doesn't know what "normal" range is, because she's always up and down in numbers, so "normal" behavior is unusual to her. ????
Could ring true at times, but I feel she knows when she's behaving badly...especially when she's not low...but when she is low, she may not really know what's going on exactly.
So, you are not alone in this. Sounds like you are not as bad as we are, but hang tough, I think it's par for the course! Wait until teenage-dom!
WOW! I'm glad I'm alone in all this!
I did sit and talk with her some last night. She started crying and said she didn't know why she was throwing the temper tantrums. I know they were real tears which leads me to believe that maybe these outburts really are her blood sugars. I'm hoping to get a call from the CDE today so we can make changes to her dose and see what happens. I think she handles herself MUCH better with highs than with the lows. Like a few of you said, I think those lows scare her. I think because she knows what can happen when she is low, she stresses when she hits those 70's. Ever since she had that low of a 48, she gets worried when she is dropping. She knows she can go high and it gives her a headache and she feels like crap but she knows she wont go so high that she will pass out. It's that fear of going so low she will pass out or be around someone that wont know how to care for her. I have 3 glucagons at home... one in her bag, one in my purse, and one on her diabetes cart (a metal cart with all her diabetes stuff on it) and then there is one at the nurse at school and one in her classroom. So I've tried to ease her fears and let her know if she did go too low then we could always bring her back up quick.
Thanks for letting me know that this really is normal. I really hate not knowing how she feels. I guess the closest I get is severe PMS, which really can NEVER compare to what she goes through daily but I know the feeling of not being able to control emotions. Geesh....God help us when she gets her period! LOL!
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