Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Activity Night

I had a little "inspiration" after speaking to a few parents about this and thought I'd get some feedback.

Activity Night. It's one of those things I've never really liked.

What is it? Well funny you ask because the definition of "Activity Night" in my mind is different from what really happens there these days. When I went to school, "Activity Night" included dancing to music from a DJ, basketball, ping pong, board games, refreshments served in the cafeteria, and walking around with friends. I remember having fun those nights and dancing til I was a soaked sweaty mess and running out to meet my Mom who was waiting in the car to pick me up when it was over. I remember rattling off about what songs they played and who was there.

When it finally came time for Kayleigh to attend her first "Activity Night", she went and when I picked her up she said it was boring and she didn't want to go to another one. So from 6th-8th grade, she only attended one activity night and then she attended her 8th grade dance.

Now that Kacey is in middle school, it's that time again. She missed the first one because we had plans but from what we heard after that night, she really didn't miss anything. You see, these "Activity Nights" these days are MUCH different from the ones I went to. Girls follow the boys around. Wait...they practically chase them! They're holding hands. They're slow dancing with boys. They're walking around and stopping to "talk" in corners. BOY CRAZY girls! So where does this leave me? Kacey is NOT into boys. She's been in a girls group that is teaching her to "guard her heart" and not give it out to any boy that walks around. She's being taught morals and values about how to stay pure to herself and follow a path that is faithful to God and His ways. So why in the world would I take her up there and subject her to this wrong? Should she be dropped off and given the chance to be in the middle of all of that on purpose? Should I discourage her from this behavior? After all, we've had the talks about it before and how middle school boys and girls are NOT supposed to "date" and she should never be left in a room alone with a boy. Do I trust her? Absolutely! But I feel like I'm sticking her in a situation that she shouldn't be in. I feel "Activity Nights" are NOT being monitored properly. Now, in defense of that first night, I was not there. I did not chaperone. My child did not attend. BUT...I listened to several parents talk about what their kids came home with. So why in the world would I put my child in that situation. Even if she asked to go...I would say "No."

So how about you? Would you let your child attend an "Activity Night" that you knew consisted of boy/girl dancing at 11-12 years old? Would you let your child have a boyfriend/girlfriend at 11-12 years old? Should middle schoolers be dating? Should they be allowed to hold hands and "talk" in dark corners? Do you think that this is a problem in todays society?

And just FYI....not long ago there were more than 10 girls pregnant in Kayleigh's high school. I know I was one of those unsupervised teens and I was just graduated when I got pregnant....BUT...is this a problem? Are these kids being left unsupervised to raise themselves and that is whats getting them into these problems? Are they not involved in enough extracurricular activities? Do they not have enough homework? LOL!

I'm leaving this open for a little debate. Please keep it nice. But I'm just wondering if I see the world a little different than most Moms or do I see it the same way and there are just too few of us to make a change?


Meri said...

My older son who is girl crazy started high school a few years ago and COULD NOT WAIT to go to Homecoming. He called me an hour into the dance and asked me to pick him up. Everyone was drunk and everyone was dancing completely innapropriately. He was a Freshman then, and three years later still chooses not to go. (He goes to every church within a 100 mile radius though!)

I believe it is not ok for 11 and 12 year olds to date, to make out, to put themselves in adult situations. It just isn't. We have a firm rule, no dating until 16, and even then group dates are encouraged. WHY do parents WANT their kids to grow up so fast? It isn't cool, it is just sad.

Maybe I'm old fashioned but I don't think Kacey is missing out on anything. I know it is hard on a mama's heart, we want them to have fun. But inappropriate is still inappropriate.

Amanda said...

I don't think kids should be dating or making out at that age, dancing appopriatly with a boy is ok I think. As far as this Activity night, if she wants to go, I think you should let her go once and have a talk about what went on afterwards, ask her if she was comfortable, if she thought it was appropriate, etc and if she wants to go again. Also before she goes, have a talk about what you expect of her and revisit your morals with her. You could always volunteer to chaperone this time or you could even volunteer to organize a committee to plan these events, so they are more wholesome. So that's what I think, but of course when my little girls are 11 or 12, I might have a whole other opinion!