Over the last week, my stomach has been in knots. When I'd feel that rumbling stirring up, I'd drop what I was doing and take time to just sit down and pray. I prayed for peace within. I prayed for good results. I prayed that if we had to be dealt dreadful news then please give me some strength to be able to accept it. I just prayed and prayed.
Yesterday I got an email from Kacey's NP. I email sugar logs each week and we collectively look at them and make changes in her pump. So she had emailed me back with a change and we were discussing those afternoon lows and Kacey's scary low that just happened. I decided that it wouldn't hurt to ask to see if Kayleigh's lab results had come back yet? So I did! When she replied, she said she would have someone get in contact with me about the results. OK...you all know that if they say that then its NEVER good! Then I got another email telling me that she talked with Dr. SS and she will be calling me sometime during the day. I headed for a tailspin. WHY weren't they telling me? WHAT was wrong? Was something wrong in the lab work? Was it RH or was it T1? A million things swirled through my head at that moment. Thankfully there was instant Facebook support that reminded me to stop and pray about it. I needed a clear mind to be able to accept whatever Dr. SS was about to tell me.
About an hour later, my cell phone rang. ***Dr. R's Office*** is what came across the screen. I knew that I was about to hear the results and whatever they were...I COULD accept them! I answered it and heard the sweetest voice...it was Dr. SS. She told me that they had the results and that the only one they didn't have back yet was the Antibody test and that one takes longer to get back. She went on to say that the test did EXACTLY what they wanted to see her body do. She went on to explain how when they did the blood draw, they were looking at glucose and insulin levels. As most of you know, when you eat your blood sugar rises and the job of your pancreas is to spit out insulin to cover the food you just ate. Well Kayleigh's pancreas did that but then at the 2 hour mark, her pancreas spit more insulin which made her bottom out. She read me off the levels but I really don't understand the numbers. So basically she said what this means is she has Reactive Hypoglycemia.... BUT...(yep theres always that BUT) ***I literally held my breath at this point) this does NOT mean she will not develop Type 1. RH can be a precursor for T1. The pancreas is overactive and then all of a sudden it decides to completly stop. She also said we're still waiting for that antibody test. PLEASE pray for a negative!! So for right now, she's got RH and if we start seeing any higher blood sugar numbers then we will cross that other bridge if we are faced with it. She is going to have to make sure she's eating meals every 2-3 hours and they have to contain protein, carb and fat with each one. This will keep her sugar up and stable and she won't drop as much as she has been lately. Her A1c was a 5.3% which is GREAT! So either the at home A1c results were off by 3% OR she's just had so many lows lately that it made it come down 3% in a few weeks. Either way...I'm glad it wasn't higher. She did say that the other blood work that Dr. G had ordered came back good and there was an elevation in the Cortisol one but that wasn't abnormal since the blood work was done AFTER she had the bad low and her body reacted. I also asked why she would have those high's after eating and then take so long to come down and she said it was from the low that she had...being so scared...the reaction her body had. So that all made sense and it made me feel a little better.
I feel better that we have a diagnosis. I feel better knowing that I can manage this with food intake, unlike Kacey's T1. Am I still scared? YES! I'm worried that now she's going to develop an eating disorder because she's feeling that she has to eat all the time to make sure her sugar doesn't drop. Then I have those same fears that I have with Kacey...the ones that creep in and take over my brain...the fears of her sugar dropping to the point that she won't wake up.
What's a Mom to do? HAVE FAITH! I have to have faith that the Lord will keep watch over them both. I have to have faith that He will take care of them. It's hard! We are so driven to "control" our lives ourselves and we are not the ones who have the control. No matter what we say or do, God is in control. So who am I to try and take that over? As much as I want to have that power over my life, it sounds much easier to hand that power over to Him and let Him take some of this weight off of my shoulders.
And so today...I thank God for his glory. I thank Him for a new day. I thank Him for giving us the lesser of the two evils and if we're dealt that T1 diagnosis later on with Kayleigh then I will thank Him for giving me the knowledge to already take care of her. It's so difficult to see blessings in bad things that happen but I'm confident that He will show me this blessing. He will provide. He will be first in my life.
I'm going to end this on a good note....
I did ask Kaceys NP if we could go forward with Dexcom since we can't have pump approval for another year. It's a GO! :) I'm filling out the paperwork today and getting it faxed in so we can get the ball rolling with that. Kacey is VERY excited! Her NP said that we didn't have to go through the trial since we'd done the trial 2 years ago. So thats GREAT news!!!