Excitement! Excitement!

Whew! The whirl wind of the Christmas season has finally settled and it's nice to finally get things back to normal. The rush over the past week has been pretty intense. I'll try for a recap and then I've got a bit of news to share... *wink*

We had a wonderful time at Christmas Eve service. It was so nice to be surrounded by my family and friends. Mom and Brian came and actually enjoyed it so much that they said, "We'll be back for sure!" It was also nice to see my best friend surrounded by her family as well. Her Mom came and it made my heart smile to see an entire family there celebrating such a joyful occasion. The music was AMAZING (as always!) and when we all lit our candles, I felt tears well up in my eyes as I looked around to see how absolutely beautiful it was. BREATHTAKING! I wish I could have snapped a picture to share.

Christmas Eve night....well, let's just say...Santa was almost caught! We got home from all the evenings festivities around 10pm. The girls opened up their new jammies and off to bed they went. Once asleep, Santa went to work doing the job. By 11:30pm, I felt something. *tap*tap*tap* ...followed by..."Mom, Santa came but I feel sick." I sat up in bed and Kacey sat down on the edge of my bed with her kit already in hand. ***sugar check*** OVER 500! Ahhhhhh #$%*! I drug myself out of bed and stumbled to her room. Back out to the living room I went with blanket, pillow and Rufus in tow. I set up camp for her on the couch (which is right outside our bedroom door) and figured the clock was already set for the normal check at 2am. So....2am check....486....BLECH! I sat there and up'ed all those basals ...AGAIN...with hopes that by Christmas morning she wouldn't feel like a big pile of poo! Then....7am....*tap*tap*tap* ...UGH! I rolled over to a smiling face that happily said, "Come on Mom! Santa already came and my sugar is a 167! YAHOO!" Ahhhhh thats nice.... *grumble*...LOL!

Christmas morning was AMAZING! This was the first year that I really had no clue what I was getting. My husband has this habit of saying, "What do you want?" and then when I tell him, he give my Mom the money to go get it. OR he will ask my Mom what I've mentioned wanting and she goes and picks it up and he gives her the money. Well, we now have 2 grown little girls that WANT to do the shopping. Soooooo this year, they did just that! Daddy came home from work, ate dinner, showered and then off they went to the mall...just the 3 of them. I sat home and enjoyed the peace and quiet BUT it was a little lonely here at night. Anyway...my gifts....the angel from the Open Heart Collection from my husband, a snowman charm for my pandora bracelet from Kayleigh and a heart charm for my bracelet with BEST MOM on it from Kacey. It was soooooo nice to be surprised! The girls loved all of their presents as well. After we finished with our morning, we went visiting and didn't get back home til around 6pm.

Around 3pm on Christmas Day, it started to snow. They had said we were going to get slammed with a storm but we were NOT prepared to be hit with a FOOT of snow! Yes....12 inches of that nasty white stuff covered our ground! It finally stopped snowing by Monday but we were snowed in! Our driveway is 1/4 mile long and there was NO way we were getting out anytime soon. Then Monday evening, our neighbor's son came down with his big truck and started to pack the snow in our driveway for us so we could at least get out if we needed to. So....after being stuck in the house all day Sunday, all day Monday and most of the day on Tuesday...we decided to break out! The main roads were mostly clear and it was nice to get out.

We had a wonderful Christmas and enjoyed the time we got to spend with family and friends. Diabetes reared it's ugly head several times and we just had to try and beat it down the best we could.

Then...Tuesday night....A BAD NIGHT! We visited with my best friends family and all the running around playing inside finally caught up with Kacey at 1am. We had all fallen asleep around 10:30pm. I fell asleep with the TV on and around 1am, I heard a yell from the other room. "Mommmmmmmm!" You know how you think you're dreaming it so you ignore it for a minute? Yeah, thats what I did. Then again..."MOMMMMMMMM!!" I jumped out of bed and went running to Kacey's room to find her sitting up in the middle of her bed.

Kacey: I need my kit!
Me: Are you low?
Kacey: I need my kit!
Me: Ok...**checking her sugar by this point** ....57! (frantic moment)
Me: Kacey, you're low! You need juice! I will be right back!
Kacey: (yelling from other room) Mommmm! I need you!
Me: (yelling back) I'm hurrying!

I rushed back in with juice and watched as she sucked it down in only a few seconds. She sat. She looked around. She looked at me with the glassy eye look. Then she started to cry. I moved her out to the couch to set up camp again and so I could be near her. I sat on the floor beside the couch as I waited for her pump to beep to tell us to retest. ***15 minutes later*** Retest- 78 CRAP! More juice! This time she had fallen back asleep and I kept trying to get her to sit up to drink and she wouldn't sit up. (Thank you spill proof sippy cups!) She sucked the juice while laying down. She kept her eyes closed and didn't move. The tears fell down my face as I watched her...so helpless...not able to hold a cup...not able to hold her eyes open and sit up...it was the most awful feeling! Since diagnosis, she's only had about 3-4 middle of the night lows. I HATE THEM! They're scary and they make me feel like I could vomit! I can deal with daytime lows but when she has these in the middle of the night like this, it makes me afraid to sleep. It reminds me WHY I set that alarm for 2am EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! The scarier part....the next morning when she woke up, she did NOT remember a single thing from the long night before. She didn't remember waking up yelling. She didn't remember the 3 cups of juice she drank. She didn't remember anything! NOT ONE SINGLE THING! This is so scary :( and it's sad! Diabetes robs their bodies from so much and it snuck in like a thief and she didn't even know she had been low.

(This just confirms my feelings for the next topic below.....)

So yesterday, I revealed a little secret to my family that I've been keeping secret for about a week. I haven't told all the rest of our family yet (unless they are reading this now) because I want to visit this place before we make the decision. I revealed it because I finally got to speak to Scott on the phone about it after a few emails and we've officially made the step and I'm excited about this journey we're about to take. For the last few months, I've been tossing this idea back and forth but it wasn't until I ran across C.A.R.E.S. that I thought maybe this was actually possible for our family. If you haven't clicked the link, C.A.R.E.S. stands for Canine Assisted Rehabilitation & Education Service. Yes, we've made the step to look into getting an alert dog for Kacey. I spent over 30 minutes talking with one of the nicest men I'd ever spoken with. Tidewater K9's rescue and train service dogs and one of their specialties include training diabetic alert dogs. Scott started out asking a brief family history and then proceeded to explain the program to me. Since we live so close, we will have the opportunity to participate in the training and actual scent discrimination. So basically, the dog chosen for Kacey will be trained to suit her needs and learn her scents. This process doesn't happen overnight. This will be a 6-8 month process of training with the facility and then more training that involves Kacey with scent and public certification. The dog chosen for her will be trained to accompany her in public and be fully trained on and off lead. It will also most likely be a Goldendoodle or a Labradoodle since the "doodles" are hypoallergenic and don't shed. This will be GREAT for her! Scott also explained that there will be little if any out of pocket cost for us because they help us put together the corporate sponsor packages that will help us fundraise. He will also do demos to show how alerting works for any companies that want to see how it works before they sponsor us. Our first step will be to go out and visit the facility. I have to call and make the appointment. During our visit, we will get to meet a few already trained alert dogs on site as well as 2 dogs that are ready to go. We will get to see first hand how alerting works and then decide if this is definately something we want to move forward with. I'm very excited to start this journey and who knows where this path may lead? You all will be the first to be updated as I blog about the new steps we're taking. I won't sit here and tell you that this will be the perfect solution for us. It's something we're looking into and we're going to see if this is the right journey for us to take. I'm sure the first time I see one of the dogs alert right there before my eyes then there will be no turning back....but I'm going into this with a VERY open mind (and heart).

I know in my heart that 2011 is going to hold some very exciting paths for us. I'm already standing at the beginning of several roads and the adventures they are about to take are definately blog worthy!

I hope each and every one of you had a wonderful holiday and the best of wishes for a VERY happy new year!!

I close with this quote....
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."Proverbs 3:5-6

Merry Christmas!

I wanted to take a moment and wish everyone a very Merry CHRISTmas!

You all have been a rock for me this past year and I don't know how I would have made it through without the support of my D-families out there. Thank you for being there and continuing to be there as my backbone as we march forward with diabetes adventures. I'm hoping 2011 holds much more for us and I'm so glad my blogger's block is gone!

I'm looking forward to tonight with friends and family. We're going to Christmas Eve service tonight. This will be the first one my girls have ever attended and I'm actually beaming with excitement to go! I'm also very happy that my Mom is going to attend with us. I'm feeling the need to be uplifted right now!

I do have a bit of a heavy heart over some things that have happened in the last 24 hours. I won't go into all the details because it's already been hashed out and I'm done with it. My only wish is peace and understanding but there are times in life that no matter how much you explain or try and ask for forgiveness, if the other person doesn't want peace then they have to bear the burden on their heart. I can only say...I tried with good intentions. But it's with a saddened heart that I really don't think I will be heading up the Christmas Secret Santa exchange next year. I know, I know....I might change my mind by next November. We'll see! I will certainly participate because I do have faith that next year will be different but I'm just having a tough time with it all right now.

"Forgiveness means letting go of a hurtful situation and moving on with your own happiness."

BELIEVE

(my new ornament this year)
This is a word that holds very special meaning for me.

When my brother and I were little, we believed in Santa. As we got older, Mom always told us, "If you stop believing then you will stop getting." So as we grew up, my brother and I never spoke a word of 'not believing in Santa' to my Mom. We'd giggle and make jokes and it wasn't until the movie, "The Polar Express" that the word BELIEVE held even more meaning. Every Christmas Eve, the tradition has always been to give the girls a new Christmas movie and matching jammies. My Mom and Brian would come up to the house and after dinner, the girls would get in their jammies, we'd watch the movie, we'd lay out the cookies for Santa and then we'd tuck them in bed and then Mom and Brian would go home. We've done this for about 9 year now. We bought the girls the "Polar Express" movie the year that it came out. That was our movie to watch that Christmas. I had NO idea that BELIEVE would be a part of that movie. By the end of the movie, my Mom and I were both in tears. To this day, I can't watch it without tissues! That being said, I really thought last year would be our last year of Kacey believing in Santa. Turns out, we gained one more year. But this year is kind of bittersweet. I know for sure it will probably be our last. So then what? Well, it turns out....BELIEVE has once again creeped in but with a little different meaning. It's a much bigger meaning that I could have ever imagined. It's one that fill my heart with joy when I even hear that word. For me, it's a happy word!

"Believe in your dreams and they may come true; believe in yourself and they will come true."
Author Unknown

Found this online and it sums it up pretty great!

I believe ~ that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I believe ~ that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I believe ~ that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I believe ~ that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I believe ~ that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I believe ~ that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I believe ~ that you can keep going long after you can't.

I believe -- that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I believe ~ that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I believe ~ that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I believe ~ that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I believe ~ that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I believe ~ that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I believe ~ that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I believe ~ that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I believe ~ that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I believe ~ that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I believe ~ that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I believe ~ that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I believe ~ that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I believe ~ that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I believe ~ that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I believe ~ that two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different
I believe ~ that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I believe ~ that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I believe ~ that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe in YOU Always!

So my friends, this CHRISTmas, may you find peace in your heart and remember the real reason we're celebrating this holiday! I love you all!

Thank You Secret Santa

Thank you to Crystal, over at Super Sweet E, for the beautiful gift of eyeshadow. She was our Secret Santa this year! It is lovely and I will be able to wear it for the holiday parties coming up. Kacey was a little bummed when I told her that I wasn't letting her use it too! I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Disney On Ice & TY Starlight

First of all, I want to say THANK YOU to Starlight for making this event possible. They gave us such a wonderful gift...the tickets to the ice show, the free parking and the voucher for a FREE medium drink and our choice of nachos, pretzel or hot dog. This would have cost our family over $100 which would not have been possible for us right now at Christmas and the cost of a new insulin pump in our near future. It was a WONDERFUL experience!

We were blessed with the chance to go on one of Starlight's Great Escapes to Disney Princesses on Ice. We had never been to an ice show so we weren't quite sure what to expect. I assumed since it was ice that it would be chilly so I packed the backpack with blankets and snacks. I also packed the small case with complete site change and insulin. Not sure why my Mommy gut was telling me to but I just did.

The show was in Richmond and the GPS told us that it was 1hr and 20min drive so the girls popped iPods on and kicked back to enjoy the ride. I have one of those husbands that KNOWS where he is going so when the GPS told him to take the exit, he assured me that there was a shorter way and the GPS wasn't always right. As we drove on, the GPS told me that we were going further away. After a few choice words to him and 15 minutes later....we arrived at 6:20pm. We should have been there by 6pm!! Thanks to Starlight, we had FREE parking. We finally found the Starlight group and got our tickets and headed on in. Disney! Disney! Everywhere! There were booths set up like every 20 feet with all sorts of Disney Priness stuff. After having a bit of sticker shock (yeah $22 for a little spinny light toy), we bypassed them all and headed to our seats. As we walked down the stairs, closer and closer to the ice, the girls were giggling with excitement. We were soooooo close to the rink! Shrills of laughter came from them as they saw the castle behind the curtain. No matter how old we get, those Disney Princesses still make you feel all warm and fuzzy.

Let me just say, it was one of the funnest events we've ever been to! This was our first ice show (yeah I know...but those things are expensive!) Frankie even made the comment about how much he enjoyed it!

That being said....it didn't go without a little bit of diabetes drama! Kacey's sugar was 400 when we got to our seats. Blech! Thank you excitement! When the show was over, both girls made a bathroom trip before the long drive home. I waited outside with the backpack. They both came rushing out with scared looks on their faces. Kacey was nearly in tears as she raised her shirt to reveal a BLOODY SITE! No freakin way! For 24 hours, her site had been in a vein and now it was blowing out....YUK! I told her we had no choice but to put a new one in right there. Ummmm.... ***insert the light bulb that went off*** I packed that extra site change for a reason! So we went back into where the seats were and everyone had cleared out. I told the worker there that we had a bit of a medical emergency and I needed a little privacy to take care of it. She asked me if I needed her to call First Aid (she saw the blood). I explained what we had to do and she nodded that it was fine for us to be in there. So there I knelt on the floor of the Richmond Coliseum putting in a new infusion set. Frankie grabbed the camera and caught a few pictures. LOL! What a way to end our night! So....new set....correction....and a little rest...and I finally got her back in the 200's before bed.

What an experience!

Hustle & Bustle

We had one of the busiest weekends last weekend! It seems like as Christmas approaches, I feel like the hustle and bustle is faster and I don't have the time to myself that I would like. It's so hard to believe that in just a few short days it will all be over!

We had so many exciting things going on! First of all, I'm thankful that we didn't get all the snow they were expecting us to be dumped with. They are now saying we *might* have a white Christmas. I'll believe it when I see it!

Now a weekend recap....

We took the girls out to Yankee Candle since we hadn't been to see all the Christmas decorations. This place holds a little "magic" for us. This past summer, we went there and they have a year round Christmas shop there. We just happened to go on the right day and Santa was there! There was a book with lists of naughty and nice names and Kacey didn't hesitate to add her name to the list. I had my camera with me that day and we asked Santa if we could take a picture? Of course! He then looked at Kacey and said "So Kacey, you're being a good girl, right?" The look on her face was priceless. She shook her head yes and as we headed out of the shop, she tugged on my shirt. "Mommy! He's the real one! Thats the REAL Santa!" I questioned WHY she thought he was the real one? "Because he knew my name!" Ahhhhhh! :) That book was there for a reason! Then just a few weeks ago, we had a moment of panic when a friend of ours wasn't watching her tongue and came out with "Oh did you all hear the Yankee Candle Santa quit and he's working at the mall now?" Kacey was sitting there with a shocked look on her face. This friend didn't only say this ONCE she said it THREE times. You see, we've always told the girls that mall Santas are Santa's helpers and they are not the real ones. Kacey was already putting that together and when we got out of church she wanted to know if that was really true? I told her that I didn't think it was and we'd make a trip to Yankee Candle to make sure! So when we got out there, she made a beeline for the back where Santa's shop is....HE'S NOT HERE!She once again wrote her name in the big book (take notice of the Polar Bear Poop in the pic...hahaha!) and the worker overheard us talking and she tapped Kacey and said "If you're looking for Santa, he's under the big clock!" Kacey got excited and we walked out to the clock....and there he was! She stood there gazing for a moment and then we sat down at one of the tables. She kept her eyes fixed on him and then between kids in line, he looked over at her and winked his eye and waved to her. At that moment, I knew we'd been blessed with one more year of Santa. Whew! I really thought last year would be our last year but she proved us wrong.

Saturday night, we were blessed with tickets to Disney on Ice, courtesy of Starlight's Great Escapes. It was FABULOUS! I'm not going to tell you all about it in this post because it deserves it's own post!

Sunday was "Family Day" at our house. Since we've been attending church at Coastal, we've made Sundays a day for us to spend as a family. We get up and eat breakfast together, we go to service at 9am and then we spend the rest of the day doing something together. After church this past Sunday, we came home and ate some lunch and then we bundled ourselves up for Christmas Town at Busch Gardens. We'd been trying for the last few weeks to go and something always came up or the weather wasn't cooperating. It was VERY cold but we decided we were going to go and brave the weather. It was well worth it! The shows were amazing...the lights were spectacular...and the weather was...well it was Christmasy! The fake snow that was falling made it feel so wintery and that combined with the snow that was still laying on the ground made it a very magical place to be. We only lasted 4 hours because it was just way too cold but both girls loved it.

Now back to church...

I've talked about this before but I really feel like I need to talk about it some more. I promise not to make this a long sermon but I was so moved in church this past Sunday that I need to share. We were blessed back in October to be invited to Coastal by my best friend. This past Sunday was another one of those services that I spent with tears. The topic....Peace. Pastor S unpacked what it really meant to have *peace*. Have you ever sat in church and felt like the pastor was preaching right to you? Yep! This was one of those services! He talked about Peace with God, Peace of God and Peace with others. I was ok until he got on topic about peace with others. Why? Because there are others that I don't have peace with and it is my job to seek out and restore that relationship. I must speak to that person with love, even if they are still mad at me, they can hold the anger but I will have the peace within myself. Peace with others requires EFFORT! Most of us are not willing to put forth the effort to make the peace. You may think it's easier to go on daily and sweep it under the rug since thats the easiest thing to do. You will never be at peace if you do this. Speak the truth in love and choose to bury the hatchet. Tis the season! Make the peace with that person. As I sat there thinking about who I needed to make peace with, I looked over at Kayleigh who was also choking back tears. I knew what she was thinking. She knew I knew what she was thinking. We smiled at one another with the tears rolling down our faces. I then looked past her to see my best friend sitting there choking back tears. We all had these tears for the same reasons. It's hard to hear it sometimes but there are times in our lives where we have to take the high road, stop holding those grudges and move forward with forgiveness. I know its hard...but then again...no one said it was supposed to be easy. Taking the first step toward peace is scary. You don't know how the other person is going to accept it. But when you get it off your chest then you have the peace to be able to move forward spiritually. Pick up the phone. Make the call. Tell that person you love them. Tell that person you are sorry. Tell that person you forgive them. We're not guarenteed tomorrow but we are guarenteed the chance to have peace TODAY....NOW is the time!

Ephesians 4:3
"Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace." (NLT)

OK...I'm getting off my soapbox now. Thank you all for bearing with me. I know there are many of you out there that are not religious and I respect that so please do the same for me. Thank you!

As for the diabetes front....Kacey MUST be growing again because even with the basal changes in her pump, she's still hitting sugars in the 400-500 range. We've changed sites, changed insulin and she's still running high so we're saying its growth or those dreaded hormones again. As for Kayleigh, she's staying in range and she's making sure she eats every 2-3 hours so there have been no signs of any lows.

So with all the hustle and bustle...I hope each of you is having an amazing time this Christmas and my wish for you.... PEACE!

(((HUGS))) to you all!

Basal Increases & SNOW!

I got an email back from Kacey's Endo. Looks like we're going to increase ALL basals again! She's running high all the time so we're going to try increasing everything again and see what happens. It was sort of a reality slap when we started looking at her TDD of insulin. She's getting an estimated 2,250 units of insulin a month! With the growth she is having and then trying to contain those hormones along with hunger pangs and the holidays...we're fighting quite a battle here! Now she's going to be getting more with the basal increases!

Virginia was also slammed with a winter storm. The weatherman predicted we would get 2-5 inches of snow but we only ended up getting about an inch once it finished raining and sleeting. The sight of all that white stuff sent the West house into a frenzy. They closed schools hours before it even hit because of the amount they were predicting. It's a good thing they did because those roads were a mess! We were also getting thunder...yes THUNDER during the snow storm. It was actually really cool because it was all over the news and when it thunders during a snow storm it is actually huge snow bursts. They had a chance to get outside and play in the snow today. It was COLD though and the snow was mostly ice so that meant...no snowman! :(

The girls were actually thrilled that schools were closed but Kayleigh was a bit disappointed when the church youth Christmas party was cancelled. She was looking forward to meeting the other youth for the first time. It's been postponed til January 6th. So she still has something to look forward to! The other downfall of the snow was that schools were closed again today and this was their last day before Christmas vacation. So now they won't go back to school til after the first of the year. That means no Christmas parties and they won't be able to give their teachers the gifts they chose until after the first of the year! Bummer!

Today we took the time to make Christmas cookies. I was going to bypass doing this with the girls this year but they talked me into it and we ventured out to the store to get everything to make them this morning. We've been baking ALL day! After 120 Oreo truffles, 2 dozen sugar cookies, 1 dozen chocolate chip cookies and 1 dozen chocolate peanut butter chip cookies with Heath bits....I'm exhausted! The girls had so much fun though and I'm glad we did it! :) It always makes for some fun memories. Once we finished, we put together a cookie tray for our neighbors. Their son broke his arm last night on the ice and so Kacey and I made a trip down there to take him some cookies. It was so heartwarming for us and Kacey was smiling ear to ear when we left there. She turned to me in the van and said , "Mommy, it feels so good to give." Ahhhh, what a joyful sound! My heart overflowed at that moment. This is what it's all about! We didn't make those cookies for us to eat. We made them to give away and share that warm fuzzy feeling! :)

There is a little more excitement in the air though! Tomorrow is our Disney On Ice show with Starlight and tomorrow night into early Sunday morning they are calling for another snow storm to bring in 4-8 inches of snow!

I have loads of pics to upload to Facebook! I will get them uploaded soon :)

D-Report Card

Today was Kacey's Endo appointment and the D-report card results are in! She's back up to a

8.6%

Can you say...YUK! Thank you hormones and high blood sugars. YOU SUCK!

OK, I feel better now! :) That being said, we were smacked with a bit of bad news. The doctor brought Kacey's Cozmo pump back in and said she was not able to download the settings or logs because Cozmo no longer supported online downloading. WHAT?!?! What does this mean? This means that we can still access her logs and settings at home and email them to the doctor but they can't access then when we're there. So now what? Well, it's kind of bittersweet. We were looking to start a new pump upgrade toward the end of the school year in May/June but now this means we can push forward with the upgrade. There is a pump class coming up on January 6th. So I called to get Kacey registered for the class. Hopefully it works out and we will be able to actually put our hands on the Animas and the MiniMed. She is not interested in the OmniPod at all. I know I had asked for help before with the two pumps. Each of you loved them for different reasons and I'm so torn as to which way to go. The ultimate decision is up to Kacey and after looking at both pumps on the websites and watching the videos. She's still up in the air with her decision but I'm guessing she is going to lean toward MiniMed. I know getting the CGMS is part of the deal. She definately wants that but she doesn't want the 2 seperate devices attached to her. And with middle school in her near future and watching her conceal her pump now...I DO understand her reasoning and its her body and her decision. Also, as we watched the Animas video, it seemed like there was alot of steps to go through when bolusing and such. Is that correct or were we misunderstanding it all? (Wendy, help here! You know the boat we're in!) Kacey is all about dosing and putting her pump away quickly so she can eat or go on with the activity she is doing. When we watched the MiniMed video, it seemed like it was a shorter process.

AHHHHHH the confusion! Anyone that can offer advice with these two pumps...PLEASE HELP! If you were on one pump and you switched, do you like it? If not, why? Do you regret your switch? What are your favortite features? Your least favorite?

Ultimately we have a few favorite features with Cozmo. Our 1st fav...IOB! :) My next fav is the alerts....15 min after a low and 2 hours after a high. Kacey's pump will beep and tell her to test. This gives her the freedom to treat herself with and without help. If she was low, then it reminds her to make sure her sugar comes up in safe range and if shes high then she can retest to see if she needs another correction. I also like the alert that reminds me to change her site every 3 days. Yep, all the alerts and beeps are important for us so we need a pump that is going to do that. I don't know all the features of the two pumps so I'd love the feedback!

Also....Noah....our Endo office LOVED your blue flamingo idea and our Endo thought it was a VERY cool idea! While we were waiting in the waiting room, a very nice Christian lady asked what Kacey had in her arms? Kacey shared Deputy with her along with your letter (which we laminated) and gave her a mini lesson while we sat there. The nice lady was so impressed and she said to tell you...."Continue to do great things and you will be blessed." So we wanted to share that with you. One person educated....millions more to go! We've got more pics to upload! THANKS NOAH!!

Starlight

On December 7, 2010, we got an email from a very nice worker named Sandi, from Starlight Children's Foundation. She was calling to let us know Kacey was accepted into the program. I was thrilled with this news! You see, Starlight has something called Great Escapes. It's a program that helps sick children and children with chronic conditions get out into the world and enjoy events that normally wouldn't be financially available for a family that struggles with financial burdens of a child with chronic illness. It gives these children a chance to meet other children that might be struggling with the same sort of illness, it gives them a chance to get away and try and put aside their daily struggles with the illness they have. It also gives Moms and Dads a chance to interact with other parents...something all of us need!

As Starlight says, "When a child is seriously ill, everyone in the family is affected." It's true! I can't tell you how many times I've had to drop what I was doing to care for Kacey. I've had to cancel plans because she couldn't function. We've had to leave places because of blood sugars. I've had to give my 100% attention to her until she comes up or down into a safe blood sugar range. I've been subbing in a classroom and they've called me out to care for Kacey or I've had to leave because she was so high that she was sick. I've lost countless hours of sleep during the night to care for her...thankfully she was able to sleep through it but then she wondered why I was a walking zombie the next day. It not only affects me and Frankie but it also affects Kayleigh as well. When Kacey is grumpy then they have those sibling fights....then God help me when Kay has PMS and Kacey has a high blood sugar....LOL! Talk about a House War! Whew! But it was hard for Kayleigh to understand WHY we had to leave places when Kacey's sugar got out of whack. Now, she DOES! But I know it used to make Kayleigh mad when we'd be having fun somewhere and Kacey would drop low and we'd have to stop so I could care for her....or she'd go high and we'd still have to stop so she could drink water with a case of the grumpies. It's hard! And thankfully Starlight KNOWS how hard it is for families and they offer a chance to have some family fun and try and set aside all the daily struggles we face.

There is a process to go through to be accepted for Great Escapes. We had to fill out an application and send it in. There are requirements for this program.

(From the site)
To be eligible for acceptance into the Great Escapes family activities program, a child must have a serious illness or a severe chronic medical condition that significantly affects their day-to-day existence. To be considered medically eligible for the program, a child must have a medical illness or condition that falls within one of the following categories:
Applicant has a life threatening medical illness Type 1 diabetes
Condition significantly restricts mobility Yep, when her blood sugars are high/low
Pain and discomfort from the condition cannot be controlled or surgically repaired Unfortunately it can't :(
Condition requires significant and ongoing medical treatment Yep, every single second, minute, hour and day of her life
Condition is progressive Yes *sigh* :(
If the condition is not progressive, it must be current

WOW! Yes, we qualify.

The GREAT news...we will be attending our first Great Escape on Saturday, December 18, 2010 for Disney on Ice in Richmond! HOW EXCITING!!! My girls have never been to Disney on Ice (yeah I know, bad Mom!) They are soooooo very excited about it! We are looking forward to a wonderful family day as well. I will be sure to post pictures!

THANK YOU STARLIGHT for such a wonderful program! I'm thrilled about getting more involved with this program and I'm looking forward to sharing it with others.

Meet Deputy

We'd like to first take the opportunity to thank Noah, The Diabetes Dude, and his family for taking the time to mail this package to us. We're so greatful to be the proud owners of one of the flock of blue flamingos that are circulating the world.

On December 8, 2010....WE WERE FLOCKED! Deputy arrived on our doorstep while Kacey was at school. When we got home and she saw who the box was from, she started to jump around like a wild monkey.
Kacey and Deputy became "instant friends". She is so excited to take him and share him with the rest of the world. His first trip will be to our Endo's office next week for Kacey's A1c and diabetes check. We're hoping to get a few great pictures to share!

Noah also threw in some pretty cool silly bands. Silly bands became a hit in our house over the summer and the girls tried to outdo their friends to find unique bands. WELL.....Noah provided us with bands that NONE of their friends have and they can only get from The Coolest Diabetes Dude around! Thankfully he sent us a few packs so Kacey is sharing them with her very best friends as she educates them more.

THANK YOU AGAIN Noah and Family for Deputy and I promise that we will continue to share pictures as he makes his journey around Virgina.


ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD........
For those of you that are interested...which I'm SURE you won't be ...HAHAHA... Nicole over at We Cara Lot Blog is offering a pretty cool giveaway. I'm not telling you about it here because you have to jump over there and read all about it! LOL!

Gut Rested (For Now!)

After many tears...a phone call to Wendy...and a drive to Walmart....I was finally able to put my Mommy gut to rest a little. I purchased the Bayer A1c Now kit. With a fingerstick, you get an A1c result in 5 minutes. I'm betting these kits are pretty accurate and if they aren't then DON'T TELL ME cuz I'm relying on this result right now to keep my insanity.

With tear filled eyes...I read the instructions carefully.

With a loud "shunk" of the lancet that came with the kit....I filled the little tube.

I then inserted the tube into the capsule and shook it for 5 seconds.

I then opened the little prep device and stuck it into the meter.

With the press of a button...the push of the little capsule...and the word RUN...it was counting down... 4:59 to 0:00

Kayleigh's result....

YESSSSSSS....BREATHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! ~wiping tears~

Recheck to make sure I saw the right number through my tears. Kayleigh, Kacey, Kay's best friend and myself rejoiced with the number we saw. Once again, I'm assuming this is accurate and for $27 it's enough to give me a little peace for the holidays. Ohhh and BTW, that $27 is TWO tests! So we have an extra one on hand to do right before the Endo in January and then I can really tell you all how accurate the home test is. I'm still pissed off at the doctor for refusing the test but we'll see how things go on January 7th. We have an appointment with the Endo that day and we'll finally have some more answers (hopefully!). Thanks Wendy for being an ear for me to vent to! Love ya!!

Also...I wanted to share this....

I know someone shared it before but it's worth sharing again. GLUCOSE TAB KEYCHAINS!!! They hold 4 glucose tabs perfectly and they were only $1.24 at Walmart! Definately worth having glucose tabs within reach at all times! :) And this goes along great with Lora's giveway! Check out her BLOG for the exciting Reli-on Giveway. So now, I have one on my keys and both girls have them hooked to their purses. Perfect!

Thank you all for reading my insane ramblings. Please continue to bear with me as I try to keep my thoughts in check! Luv yas!

Screaming Mad!

I'm so mad right now that I ended up in tears on the phone with Kacey's Endo. I had called the doctor back about Kayleigh's A1c and requested a new one be done. I got a call back today telling me that the doctor that diagnosed her with Hypoglycemia said there was NO NEED for another A1c since her one from 2 years ago was NORMAL. WHATTTTTTTTTTT?!?!?! Last time I checked, things can be NORMAL one year and the next they are in TOTAL CHAOS! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! So I told the lady on the phone to tell her that we DID have a PPO for insurance. We WOULD be making an appointment with Kacey's Endo. We WOULD get an A1c done. And we WOULD NOT be requesting to see Dr. P anymore! THIS IS INSANE!!!!

So I called Kacey's Endo office and told them what was going on and she informed me that since it was diagnosed as Hypoglycemia then she should definately be seen by a Endo and the soonest they could get us in was January 7th. I have to get her records faxed over to the office. In the meantime, I'm gonna drive myself bonkers! :( Have any of you used the over the counter A1c tests? I'm so sick at my stomach right now!

How in the world can you diagnose someone as Hypoglycemic and then tell them you will not authorize an A1c because the one 2 years ago was normal? TWO YEARS!!!

I know I'm probably freaking out right now but geezussssssss c'mon at least give the mother some peace of mind! So if that A1c was still a 5.6% then we'd rest well and try and settle some nerves. In the meantime, I'm watching Kayleigh...her appetite increases and decreases at the drop of a hat, she ran to the bathroom more than usual, she's drinking more....and do we just call it GROWING and HORMONES with a side of an OVERPROTECTIVE MOTHER?

I'm scared! I'm mad! I'm upset! The least little thing causes me to raise an eyebrow because I'm TOO aware of what is happening!

BREATHEEEEEEE! BREATHEEEEEEEE! ~sigh~ Ummm...Can I have my cafe mocha vodka valium latte to go NOW, please!

Slump

I'm still in a bit of a diabetes slump. I can't help but sit here and think in the back of my head that we're facing the beginning of another T1 diagnosis. Yeah, I know it's pretty dang awful to think that way but I can't help it.

Kay is still bouncing around between 50-180. Yesterday, we went to the Christmas parade and we were standing there and she said "Mom, I feel like I'm gonna throw up!" I know she's nervous and upset over going low so I told her to stop thinking about it because she was gonna make herself even more sick and she was fine because she'd had a snack already! She snapped back at me and said, "I am NOT faking it! It's NOT in my head! I'm not making myself sick on purpose!" She then walked over and sat down on a bench to test her blood sugar. The result... 77 ...ONE HOUR after eating! She ate a pack of gummies that she had stashed in her purse and looked up at me with tears in her eyes. DAMMIT! I feel so bad for her! With her lip quivering she said, "See! I told you it wasn't all in my head!" After 15 minutes she was a 164. **sigh** She seemed fine the rest of the evening. She went to bed at a 102.

On Friday, I called her doctor back. It's still eating away at my Mommy gut and I have to know if that A1c has changed any. I had them look up the last one so I knew for sure what it was...5.6% was right. So if normal is 4.5-6.0% then she was at the higher end of normal 2 YEARS ago! So for peace of mind...we're requesting it to be done again. I know, the number isn't a definate...but I'd at least know if it's gone up! Waiting is the worst part! I picked up some more glucose tabs this weekend and as I stood there, I saw the test at home A1c kit. I was sooooo close to grabbing it but I held back.

The reality of what is happening finally hit Kacey yesterday. She was riding with me to the store and she looked over at me with a concerned look on her face and said, "Mom, I don't want Sissy to have diabetes." and she busted into tears. I couldn't control my tears at that point either! I took her hand and said "I don't want her to have diabetes either and she doesn't have diabetes right now. She only has a problem with going low but if this turns into that then we BOTH know how to take care of her and I know she will need you!"

This is such an awful feeling! It's awful sitting here wondering if we're facing the same thing we do daily with Kacey. It's awful knowing that we know something is wrong. It's awful that I have to watch both of my girls live in fear because of this damn disease. It's awful that the worry is stealing my hours of sleep, it's stealing my happy days and it's absorbing my thoughts the way it did when Kacey was first diagnosed.

I keep repeating over and over....Give It To God! I spend quite a bit of time praying for others around me and I've found that lately I've neglected asking for prayers for myself. I need to keep myself strong in faith during times like this.

I just have so may unanswered questions and so many thoughts swirling through my head. We've been doing this 2.5 years now and I feel like I'm back at square one! Could it be? Can we handle it? How will we do it? If it's just hypoglycemia then why is she having some high numbers too? How high is normal? How low is normal? Do we treat the same way we do with Kacey? Do I get her an Endo appt for this? Should we seek a second opinion? Do hormones alone cause all this mess? I think I need a file box in my brain for all this stuff!!

Please bear with me while I whine, complain, cry and try and sort all these feelings!

We Have A Diagnosis

I'm still sitting here in a bit of a funk. I've gained so many new gray hairs the last 24 hours that I'm going to have to start passing them off as a new trend...platinum highlights! I wonder if that will fly?

So I guess I need to back up...

Over the last few months, Kayleigh has had what we've called the "mystery illness". I blogged a while back about her showing some high blood sugars mixed with some lows. She showed "diabetes symptoms" but never all at once. Sweats. Headaches. Stomach aches. Shakes. Hunger. Exhaustion. Thirst. Yes, my friends, as a D-Mom, my Mommy gut was in full force and it was making me sick to think that I could possibly have another D-child on my hands. So over the last few months, as the symptoms showed themselves, I was armed with a handy dandy glucose meter. The meter confirmed the symptoms...lowest low of 56 and highest high of 182. The doctor passed it off and said it was "hormones". Hmmm...ok but NOT what I wanted to hear cuz I knew SOMETHING was wrong. So we've just kinda dealt with it....UNTIL YESTERDAY!

Kayleigh woke up yesterday morning, not feeling very well. She said her stomach hurt but she went on to school. Somewhere near 1pm, I got a text. "Mom, I'm really sick and I want to go home." Now, Kayleigh is NOT my sick complainer. If shes complains that shes sick, shes REALLY sick! So I told her to call her Daddy since he was home on his day off. She called him and he headed to school to get her....BUT before he could get there something MAJOR happened! She was in culinary class and she said she wasn't feeling right so she told her teacher that she felt sick. He told her to sit down for a minute and she'd be ok. She got back up and she said everything started to get dark and her hearing was muffled. She managed to tell her teacher she felt like she was going to pass out and he guided her to a chair before she fell out. They called for the nurse who ran down with a wheelchair and whisked her back to the nurses office. Kay was feeling dizzy and she gets motion sick so as soon as she got into the clinic, she puked all over the trash can. Her blood pressure was 76/50 and she was GRAY! Yes, her face was white and her lips had NO color! When Daddy got there, she was still shaking but she'd gotten a little color back. Of course, all of this happens on a day that I had to substitute in the office and I was in a panic because I couldn't leave to get to my baby! :( Frankie called me and said she was doing ok and he was taking her home to lay down. When I finally got home, she was able to explain what all had happened and she cried because it really scared her. THATS IT!! Momma bear came out in me because I KNOW there is something wrong and I'm not stopping til we KNOW what it is!

This morning, I called the doctor and got her an appointment. This time we got to see the other new doctor and she looked over Kay's past records and when she came in, she said from what she read and everything that happened yesterday, she could tell us 99% of what she thought it was before even talking to us. HYPOGLYCEMIA. I felt by body sink in the chair and the vomit feeling overcame my tummy. She began to explain everything to us and after yesterday, Kay showed every classic symptom. I stopped her midsentence and explained I already had a child with Type 1 diabetes. She went on to explain the difference. DIFFERENCE? A low is a low, right? Not in this case...Kays pancrease is producing too much insulin...it works...but it's in overdrive. Ahhhhhhh! OK...LET. THIS. SINK. IN. You're telling me...I have a child that produces NO insulin and one that prodices TOO MUCH insulin? She smiled, yes that basically it. Ummmm please excuse me while I vomit and cry out! WTF?!?!?! I'm still sitting in this state of shock. I KNEW something was wrong...I SAW the symptoms....I TOLD the doc her symptoms and yet it took ANOTHER doc and her on the brink of passing out to really see it! So I sat there holding back my tears because I didn't want to scare Kayleigh. My next question to the doctor...NOW WHAT? What do we do? Can we fix it? Can we make it go away? Can we cure it? (choking tears) Basically, the only thing we can do is make sure shes eating every 4 hours...being sure that shes getting the protein to keep her blood sugar up and steady. She needs to carry snacks and glucose tabs (or something sweet) with her at school along with the note they've written giving her permission to have the snacks anytime. We can fix it by making sure she eats properly. No, we can't make it go away. And then she went on to explain that if her pancreas stays in overdrive like it's doing then later on in life she is more at risk for Type 2 diabetes because her pancreas is eventually going to decide to putter out. As you can probably imagine...my next question was...CAN this turn into a Type 1? She assured me that it probably would NOT but she was much more at risk for something like that because of this diagnosis. AT RISK? So now what? I know whats gonna happen...I'm gonna spend my days worrying like I do with Kacey. I deal with Kacey's high much better that I do the lows...WHY? Well for the exact reason that happened yesterday...PASSING OUT or UNCONSIOUSNESS! Thats my biggest Mommy fear! :( So then the doctor said that since we had all the "equipment" for glucose testing then I could do the test on her that they'd do at the hospital. She said she doesn't like to use it as a tool in determining hypoglycemia because so many factors can throw it off but if I wanted to try it then I could. She needed to drink 50g of sugar (OJ was best) and then test her 30min, 1 hour and 2 hours later. She said if she was under 80 at any point then stop the test and eat. So we have to wait for a fasting and then do the test.

Now...Kayleigh fears...
She expressed some concern after we left the doctor along with some tears. She's scared! She's scared of diabetes. She's scared to go low again. She's scared of how nearly passing out made her feel. She's scared someone around her might not know she is having trouble. I'm watching my 16 year old daughter put herself in her sister's shoes and it makes me soooo sad! :( She already has asthma and that in itself is scary enough and she's old enough to remember some of the severe asthma attacks that she has had. She said this doesn't even begin to compare with the fear she felt. She said she felt like she was dying and she was scared she wasn't going to wake up if she closed her eyes. So now what? I've talked to her, explained that as long as she eats she should be ok, but how do you REALLY make them feel calm after such a scary episode? She even went on to ask me if we could get her an alert bracelet with "Asthma & Hypoglycemia" on it so if she passed out then someone would know why. I also told her that we had enough test kits laying around that she could throw one in her purse and when she felt "weird" then she could test and she could know for sure if she was going low and treat herself just like Kacey does. She cried and all I could do was hold her :( It's another time in my life that no matter what I said or did, I still can't take away the hurt and fear. I HATE THIS!!!!

I'm so sad! I'm so mad! I'm an emotional basketcase inside and I can't cry out loud because I'm scared that it will worry Kayleigh even more. I'm not worried about treating her because I'm already a pro at treating lows but I'm just upset that we have to deal with this. I am thankful that we do know whats been making her feel so bad and we can treat it as best as we can.

Guess thats all. I'm gonna try my best to keep from sinking in the funky mess.