How do I ever begin to tell you how proud I am of you?
Two years ago, we were on our way to the doctor because I thought you had a bladder infection. Little did I know, I was within 24-48 hours of possibly losing you. July 15, 2008 will forever be etched in my brain and my heart....your Type 1 diabetes diagnosis. I spent the days following your diagnosis crying uncontrollably. I was very scared and I was angry at God. How could He let this happen? How could this happen to us? We're good people and He chose to turn our world upside down. Once again, little did I realize, EVERYTHING happens for a reason! In the weeks following, I tried to be strong for you but I silently cried alone. I cried making dinner. I cried in the bathtub. I would make excuses to use the bathroom to cry. I didn't want you to see me so upset. I was still so scared and I hardly slept because all I did was worry about you. During my weak time, I watched you grow stronger. Within a few days of your diagnosis, you checked your own blood sugar and within 3 months, you were giving yourself injections. My baby, my 8yr old, was doing shots on her own. I fed off your strength. I watched you grow from this little girl into a very responsible young lady. You were starting to educate people around you and it was so neat to see how much you'd touch someone's life. How could I be mad at God? He had created something so wonderful and I had to stop looking at the negative and see the positive in this horrible diagnosis.
Within 8 months, you had proven you were ready for the insulin pump and "Herbie" became a part of our daily life. He gave you the freedom that you had lost when you were diagnosed. You were able to have those snacks again without having to get a shot and I saw you smile more than I had in a long time. You were in love! :) (and so was I!)
Over the two years, I've gone from a very scared, worried and angry Mommy to a more calm, confident and still worrying Mommy! My worries are not the ones they were two years ago. I don't feel so anxious when we leave the house anymore. I used to pack a backpack full of snacks, water and stuff for lows. Now, as long as we have your purse with your test kit and some glucose tabs then we can go where we want to go! I remind myself that we can always stop and get you a drink or a snack if you need one. I don't let diabetes run our lives anymore. It's not the first thing on my mind all day anymore but it is the first thing on my mind when I wake up every morning. I can't start my day without going in and quietly doing a blood sugar check while you're sweetly sleeping til 9am (thanks Herbie!). Once I know your number, then I can move forward with the day and we can fight any other number together.
School was a word that I didn't want to hear just a few weeks after your were diagnosed. I was so scared to leave you and I'd come up to school every day to give you your lunch injection. Once you learned how to do that, you didn't "need" me anymore. I was happy to see you taking responsibility but I was sad to have to let you do it. You were just a 3rd grader but you sailed through with a teacher you came to have a special place in your heart for. As 4th grade approached, I knew we'd have 3 more teachers to educate but you were doing everything on your own so all they had to do was keep an eye on you. Once again, you sailed through and even after missing 24 days due to flu, illness and diabetes sick days...you came out with A/B Honor Roll! Many kids can't do that when they only miss a few days. Now as we approach 5th grade, we have many more challenges ahead. We have more teachers to educate, harder work, more tests and then the thoughts of middle school creep in. I'm sure I will feel those feelings again but when I watch how grown you are and how strong your spirit is at just 10 years old, then I know I can make it through.
You're an educator. You're an inspiration to others. You're a brave hero. And most of all...you're my daughter! On this day, we will not cry sad tears the way we did two years ago, we will cry happy tears. Happy tears because you are a healthy, happy, caring, compassionate and "normal" young lady.
Happy 2yr D-Anniversary!
To celebrate the day, we will be heading to Busch Gardens for the day :) and we will complete the day with ICE CREAM!
I Love You "Mootsie Tootsie"!
To All My Family, D-Moms, D-Friends and Supporters,
The last 2 years have been a roller coaster and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for hopping on the coaster with me and laughing and screaming with me along the way. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have such a strong support system that became my backbone. I will be forever greatful for the love you all gave unconditionally!
This is also my 500th post! Anyone posting to this post will automatically be entered into a drawing for a prize that shows some "Love from VA". The winner will be announced on Sunday :)